IRC-Quotes

No.6, DSA, K-lan
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  • Qualität des Beitrags: 0 Sterne
  • Beteiligte Poster: Amat - Darkane
  • Forum: No.6, DSA, K-lan
  • Forenbeschreibung: Alles was jut is!
  • aus dem Unterforum: Bla bla
  • Antworten: 61
  • Forum gestartet am: Sonntag 05.06.2005
  • Sprache: deutsch
  • Link zum Originaltopic: IRC-Quotes
  • Letzte Antwort: vor 14 Jahren, 1 Monat, 15 Tagen, 3 Stunden, 22 Minuten
  • Alle Beiträge und Antworten zu "IRC-Quotes"

    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 23.07.2005, 15:29

    IRC-Quotes
    Ich liebe die IRC-Quotes von bash.org.
    Und um nichts anderes geht es hier. Dieser Thread dient ausschließlich dazu, für mich die schönsten Zitate zu speichern, damit ich mich immer wieder daran belustigen kann.

    <simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
    <simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
    <simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
    <simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
    <simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.

    <Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to the west. Continental drift caused those lands to move further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity making toys for their new red-suited overlord

    <Pepe> there are 2 kids in the fourth grade, one white and one black, which one has the bigger dick
    <L@cky> the black one
    <Pepe> why?
    <L@cky> cuz hes black dipshit
    <Pepe> no fuckface, the nigger's 25!
    <Nostradom> Dude, stop making fun of black people.
    <Nostradom> Seriously, I used to have a really good black friend.
    <L@cky> used to?
    <Nostradom> money was short...we had to sell him

    <zhixel> I'd really like to meet a sane woman who doesn't have to
    constantly rely on me for emotional support
    <far_call> and I'd really like to be able to drive my car to jupiter

    <SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
    <Chibi-Trunks> i dunno
    <SiZZuRp> the lottery

    <eng> someone will *always* have it better
    <synec> yes... the trick in life is finding those people and rubbing them out.

    <gromky> I used to like to go to #deaf and ask if anyone was trading MP3's.
    <gromky> Still do, once in a while, for old times' sake.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 02.08.2005, 15:48


    <Edofnor> #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

    <DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him santa.
    <XtACY> ???????
    <DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack

    -Global- [Logon News - Dec 29 2001] Welcome to Evolnet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the boys are fbi agents. but some of the men are really women. Enjoy!

    <Justin|> tool: hey, you wanna hear a really horrible love story?
    <Nemephosis> you broke your hand?

    <VanJeans> How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
    <VanJeans> Look inside your pants; if you have a Bastes dicke dicke Brüste, it's not time.

    <RikI> Havent had sex in sooooooo long
    <RikI> It's gotten to the point where i masturbate thinking of other times i masturbated.

    <FuzLogic> I never did figure out how to open the damn doors on the landing boats.
    <mirth> "how i survived normandy" by FuzLogic



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 04.08.2005, 19:10


    <SPLURGE> bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
    <SPLURGE> i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to make it less obvious
    <SPLURGE> we dont get along so well after that

    <Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.

    <CrackyMcZap> I'm pathetic.
    <Chriso> Cracky: I'm a 17 year old pimply FAT bastard living with his parents while in college who has no money, a 3.0 gpa which means it goes up .5 next semester or ELSE i lose my scholarships, i cant buy my own smokes, i cant legally look at porn, I cant drink cuz of my medicine, i have a university-issued restraining order preventing me from entering the dorms at school, and to top it off, I'm bi but i dont like it up the ass. So yeah. Who's pathetic?

    quits SuB-RiC (M@h24-66-38-29.wp.shawcable.net) (I am short" is Womanese for, "I am fat)

    <CyniKaL> id pretend I was gay to be the fluffer for a porn movie...
    <Kohn|watching|eating> Fluffer: person that sucks the cocks when they go limp during a porn movie

    <@Majistic> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 39 is:
    <@Majistic> (Geography) What is the basic unit of currency for Syria ?
    <MEBKlaymen> children
    <evol> women

    <Toggan> Hot Threesome looking for 2 more.... send /msg



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 31.10.2005, 02:00


    <jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.

    <Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
    <Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen

    <Altoid> patience, young skywalker
    <DeX`> but that leia bitch wont put out!
    <DeX`> shes got those huge danishes on her ears to hang onto....
    <Altoid> mmmm
    <Altoid> danish
    <Altoid> you fuck her, I'll eat the ears

    <voyweiser> what's the record for the most blowjobs in one day? cause i think i broke it.
    <LlnK> how many guys did you give head today?
    <voyweiser> stfu whore. i guess i walked right into that one huh?

    <-MIKE-> fuck i downloaded the movie but no sound or picture
    <Patrick> that sucks.. so what the fuck did u download?? internet air?

    < hunterr83> my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste is this big: 8========================================================D
    < Pokute> That's fewer than 6 inches on my screen, man.
    < Pokute> and your balls are tiny
    < Pokute> I don't even know what's going on with your head, there.
    < Pokute> It's all out of proportion
    < Pokute> you should see a doctor

    DDay22Alpha1243: You voted
    Komataguri: I was standing in line for over an hour.
    DDay22Alpha1243: oh
    Komataguri: and this bitch was behind me.
    Komataguri: Ugly bitch, kept bumping into me purposefully every time the line moved and I didn't step forward fast enough.
    Komataguri: So I ripped one on her.
    Komataguri: a silent one so no one knew where it came from.
    Komataguri: After a few seconds, teh whole library smelled like someone dumped raw sewage and 40tons of roadkill in the place
    DDay22Alpha1243: lol
    Komataguri: I never felt so proud



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 07.11.2005, 01:42


    <kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather.

    <tak> if i move to canada ill be so rich
    <tak> cause your money sucks
    <disco-stu> yep
    <disco-stu> but at least our country doesnt!
    <tak> haha
    <Ped> haha
    <vivid> haha
    <aj> haha
    <blakangel> haha

    DasKrav: Where do you hide something from a Mexican?
    DasKrav: Put it under the soap.
    sse2122: Bastard.

    <Sketchee> I'm searching for porn and see one "Russian soldier"
    <Sketchee> ... it wasn't porn!
    <Grifter> o..kay
    <Grifter> In Soviet Russia, the porn finds YOU!
    <Sketchee> It was faces of death
    <Grifter> What was it?
    <Sketchee> The guy was being held to the ground
    <Sketchee> And then they spliced his throat open
    <Sketchee> And stuff was poring out
    <Grifter> hm
    <Sketchee> And there was screaming but most of that was from me

    <jome> I suppose there are bad coders, there are really bad coders, there are fucking retards, and there's coders writing lines like this: $resultscode = $resultscode - 0;
    <jome> Serious, that's an actual line from a script I'm going to rewrite..

    <Reaper> ur not 1337 hehe
    <wonderboy> i am 19

    <Unleaded> I did something really geeky just now
    <Ex0duz> watched star trek ?
    <Unleaded> I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the time... :/

    <ChapelPaige> Oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky?
    <@Apoc> to make them harder to assault
    <ChapelPaige> ...good point.
    <@Apoc> Lets see you get a trebuchet up here bitch

    <wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
    <immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
    <immi> ?
    <wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
    <wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi

    <Whoever>So I'm sitting at the lunch table with mostly girls and the conversation wanders about the usual subjects.
    <Whoever>Eventually someone say the word "Jizz" And that goody goody girl with the 4.0 GPA and who is very sweet and innocent says, "whats jizz?"
    <Whoever>Silence and muffled laughter ensues, one of the girls says "Its something guys do."
    <Whoever>So she says "...oh... okay.."
    <Whoever>Next period, english class, miss clueless raises her hand.
    <Whoever>"Excuse me, can I go to the Lav, I have to Jizz."

    <@chucky> . <= a map of the world zoomed out alot
    <@Diesi|> ha-ha

    <ilovebeer> dont hate just cuz i fuked ur gurl
    * GBL|DJ_Huxtable thinks......socrates.........can you even get a gurl?
    <Socrates> hey yeah... ilovebeer i dont even have a girl.. so how can you fuk her....
    <Socrates> gg i win
    <Socrates> kinda...



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 07.11.2005, 23:07


    <MadHatter> what you know about people and the way things work I could comfortably pass through the hole in my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste

    <fiveiron> where is that new space software
    <fiveiron> that lets you fly through the universe
    <la_haine> i think that's more commonly known as 'LSD'

    <vballa> i didnt know how to get to my friends place the other day... and suddenly i caught myself asking him for the URL to his house.

    *** SyKnight (SyKnight@mctn1-3751.nb.aliant.net) has joined the channel
    <UrbnLgnd> :)
    *** SyKnight has left the channel
    <UrbnLgnd> i guess I have an ugly face

    <ClothHat> Isn't Canadian currency made out of tree bark or something?
    <Cidolfas> CH: Isn't American currency made out of the skins of natives?
    <ClothHat> That and broken treaties.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 09.11.2005, 02:07


    [btab] she's got style she's got grace, takes a cumshot to the face, she's a lady

    <monami> this utility has a macro recording function but no loop command
    <monami> so i record a macro, and then put a stapler on the keyboard to hold the button down
    <monami> and go have coffee
    <monami> i note that the stapler, on the whole, is a more efficient and productive employee than i am

    <xorg> you know how you hang up the phone after talking to an asshole
    <xorg> and you say "Asshole"
    <xorg> well
    <xorg> in my brain, that has superimposed "goodbye"
    <xorg> i talk to that many assholes

    <spoony> i'm not bright but i can lift heavy things

    <Max-> worse than shite 200mhz pentium with 32mb ram and monitors @ 60hz?
    <CUI> Max- That's not computer
    <CUI> That's a calculator



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 26.11.2005, 15:26


    <Raven> Come, boy wonder! We shall rid the world of crime!
    <monkeymilk> yes! together we will thwart evil-doers and criminals alike!
    <Raven> To the batcave!
    <monkeymilk> wait, my download just finished
    <monkeymilk> 20 minutes of gun point rape
    <monkeymilk> or so the description says
    * monkeymilk is away - away
    <Raven> ...Maybe he's trying to think up ways to save the girl. =/
    <Robocop> he never said girl, could be two guys
    <Raven> ...
    <Raven> So, Robocop, are you prepared to clense the world of evil in the name of justice, as my trusty sidekick?
    <Robocop> no i'm busy trying to find a good site for making a pipe-bomb
    * Raven is starting to think IRC isn't the best place to start his superhero campaign.

    <@j0nkatz> jwbozzy: I have an audi out port on my cd player in my car.
    <@j0nkatz> audio
    <nukle> heh.
    <nukle> fordian slip.

    <Shockster> Did you hear about that woman that smoked dope in the streets of Baghdad? She was so stoned.

    ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
    Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
    Maxx Stepper: your*



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 27.11.2005, 21:15


    Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
    only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
    -- Wernher von Braun

    <Sumez> Q3 arena test
    <Aximili> What is it?
    <Sumez> don't you know what Quake is?!?
    <Aximili> YES, I know what Quake is
    <Aximili> But 'Q3' could have stood for 'Quicktime 3' as far as I know
    <Sumez> Quicktime 3 arena :P
    <SpyFrog> but isn't quicktime up in version 4?
    <Sumez> Spy: not the multiplayer version :)

    <BetaCeti> 3 + 2 + 25 = ?
    <Darth-Phenom> huh?
    <Darth-Phenom> 31

    <griffin> im disappointed in my mom
    <pagan> me too
    <pagan> she did a bad job

    <an_ass733> You know what's funny?
    <an_ass733> The current Slim Fast ad.
    <an_ass733> The women in it say "It's so easy to lose weight with Slim Fast"
    <an_ass733> And the fine print at the bottom of the screen says "Losing weight is not easy."

    <nickkis> speaking of which, my other half is going to get beaten when he wakes up
    <nickkis> he works nights
    <nickkis> and has a habit of sleeping on the sofa
    <nickkis> which is fine
    <nickkis> until I come home from work tonight and my 3 year old pipes up 'whats daddy watching'
    <nickkis> and what daddy is watching isnt suitable for 3 year olds in any way shape or form

    <Saaj> gah! shit my ears are blocked :/
    <^xexeh> swallow
    <Saaj> swallow what?

    <DigDug> Acero: don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what i say
    <Acero> DigDug: yeah, i guess i should just stick my dick in and find out if i get herpes for myself!

    <cactor> I'm gonna put some oragel on my dick and stick it in some bitches mouth
    <|Chris> what are you gonna do when she bites your dick off
    <|Chris> cause she can't feel her mouth
    <cactor> uh I dunno
    <cactor> smack her probably

    <zyrowan> when I have a fiance
    <zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the back of my balls
    <zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
    <zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic

    TheGimpiestBean: i hate people....
    EwwDontEatThat: heh
    EwwDontEatThat: i hate Bastes dicke dicke Brüste
    EwwDontEatThat: i mean people

    <trunck> how long doesschool have a vacation?
    <Nec> till monday, i think
    <<Nec> next week, that is.
    <trunck> whoa
    <trunck> really long
    <trunck> fucking school kids
    <Nec> is illegal.

    <inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
    <LZ> what does it do?
    <inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I TYPED BEFORE
    <LZ> hmmm
    <LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
    <inv694102> O.....
    <inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
    <LZ> lol...

    <moku> It is difficult. People always want me to walk on water, but I can only do that when the water is frozen...
    <BobTheMilkman> heh, so THAT's how jesus did it, the tricky bastard

    <CoRDS> there is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

    <@Blaxthos> can anyone see this ?
    <@heath> no
    <@jsb> no
    <@Blaxthos> good
    * Blaxthos heads to the women's locker room

    <jGoo> does this nick make me look fat?

    <Oddjob> HOLT SHIT I FUCKING JIZZED ON MY EYE

    <h4ndb07> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 by PaulMcCartney is:
    <h4ndb07> (Quick! Quick!) What key is to the right of T on a keyboard?
    <Allio> r

    *** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
    <BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits IRC.

    <Tim> Well it tastes gay.
    <Gerard> How do you know what "gay" tastes like?

    <Pedingto> I find this job can be real hell at times.
    <Pedingto> When this UBER-FIT woman came in
    <Pedingto> and purchased many packs of condoms.
    <Pedingto> I so wanted to ask her if she heard our try before you buy policy >:)
    <Etheria_Dawn> LOL!

    * MouLDY_LLaMa is now known as JohnnyDepIsCrap
    <JohnnyDepIsCrap> :
    <I_Am_Great> you spelt it worn
    <I_Am_Great> g
    <I_Am_Great> *worng
    <JohnnyDepIsCrap> i know
    <I_Am_Great> *wrtong
    <I_Am_Great> *wrong
    <I_Am_Great> damn
    <JohnnyDepIsCrap> hahaha
    <I_Am_Great> talk about spelling thing worng
    <I_Am_Great> fuck

    <MoF0-> hmm
    <MoF0-> why has nortons said all my keygen are " at risk files"
    <Blaqeagle> because norton is like that schizophrenic kid at school who
    keeps on yelling out in class shit about flying cows or
    something when your trying to do your work
    <Blaqeagle> occasionally he actually yells out something coherent, but
    you suspected it anyway

    < kate> wat r u doin ryt now
    < Patrick`> Trying not to hunt you down and beat you into a pulp with a dictionary.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 21.12.2005, 02:14


    <amy25``> hey it's summer - bad time for passwords - get outside and stop masturbating!
    <activexyz> better 1st stop masturbating and than go outside
    <CrashFix> LOL ;-)
    <CrashFix> timing is everything

    <Lith> im tellin ya.. im sitting on a land mine
    <Lith> err
    <Lith> gold mine

    <nwa_> someone sniff me and send me a copy of all the info you collect, i am most interested
    <beeMind> nwa_: I've been sniffing you and I have some info. You smell funny.

    <DocWebstr> *cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
    <Lazarus> Doc, you really gotta quit inhaling all that bullshit; it's not good for you.

    <w3nis> this bread smells weird
    <w3nis> but tastes fine
    <Guilty> Much like a Bastes dicke dicke Brüste

    <magnafi> portuguese is very dificulty to speak
    <magnafi> its like chinese or japanese..
    <magnafi> very dificulty
    <litigator> kind of like english
    <magnafi> english is too much easy to speak

    <torm_> fuckin gay school tommorow
    <Avram`> There is school for that?
    <torm_> heh
    <Al-Qadim> torm_'s about to graduate magna cum loudly with a BS in catching
    <Avram`> Does that allow you to get more gay sex or something?
    <torm_> hah
    <Al-Qadim> well once he has his degree he can go on to more advanced classes like gerbiling and feltching
    <torm_> aw come on now
    <Avram`> I think you've cummed on enough.

    <Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
    <Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
    <ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
    <ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
    <ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
    <ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
    <Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
    <ravuya> more or less



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 12.01.2006, 02:11


    <BadMojo> when I finally have kids, I'm going to constantly tell them "i fucked your mom"

    (Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke detector?
    (Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
    (Mutiny) Atarax: why?
    (Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
    (Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
    (Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn't give me any special powers, but it didn't kill me either
    (Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
    (Atarax) "why is that fuck still alive"

    <LizziBabe> Kiri! I got something you just *gotta* have!
    <Lazarus> Lizzi: Sex?

    <Hell_Patrol> I wish the girl of my dreams would stop fucking haunting my dreams, I wish death upon the stupid bitch

    <Nailbomb> ugggh, I swear I'm gonna be seeing pixels for the next week, can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow
    <Demigoat> yeah
    <Demigoat> so you can look at the sand
    <Demigoat> and go
    <Demigoat> "hmm, those look like pixels"

    <Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u can say is
    <Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
    <[HI]Widget> lol
    <Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
    <Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 24.01.2006, 11:50


    <SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile."

    <Twinge> I just got a pop-up for a product that kills pop-ups. Hypocrysy at it's finest.

    <PsychoOne> I found the coolest tshirt for my friend today
    <PsychoOne> I am getting it for his birthday. he'll hate me forever.
    <PsychoOne> he is gay
    <PsychoOne> and the shirt I am getting him reads "Sorry girls, I suck dick"

    <D4NG3R0U5> why is it, in the commercials the bottles of medicine stop talking when the actor picks them up?
    <D4NG3R0U5> usually when i pick up my med bottles they keep talkin "2 a day? what are you, a pussy! take 6!" "it says don't drink alcohol after taking me...you gonna let them tell you what to do?"

    <dj_goddess> Hey Nyph, how'd the exams go?
    <Nyphur> What exams?....
    <Nyphur> Oh, THOSE exams. ;)
    <Nyphur> FUCK... Those exams....

    EmoKidDavey: I once masturbated 24 times in 24 hours
    Fallen Tabris: O_O
    Fallen Tabris: That's really unhealthy.
    Fallen Tabris: How much juice did you get out?
    Fallen Tabris: when you have so little left, is it even called masturbating any more?
    Fallen Tabris: When you've done it that many times in a day.
    EmoKidDavey: yeah
    EmoKidDavey: a stick comes out and a flag unfurls that says bang

    <@DarkHoly> you live in canadian future, that's like, wright brothers just invented airplane
    <Tdot> airplane?
    <Tdot> O_o
    <@DarkHoly> see?

    (DreamThtr): im not american
    (DreamThtr): but i went to the usher concert
    (CrazyCoot): by american do you mean straight

    <Leaf> why do rnb artists alays have names like man whores

    <cheater> my dream is running away from me like a dog from a hungry korean

    <Model_Atheist> I want a fucking girlfriend.
    <CuriousGrugg> None of those non-fucking girlfriends, huh?

    <Lachlan> Doogie, what the fuck do you think the emergency generators are there for?
    <Doogie> ummm....
    <Sam> Generating Emergencies.

    (@WrmSlayer] wow
    (@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
    (+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
    (@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds

    <Musket> is there an echo in here?
    <ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
    <FessyBugger> in here?
    <Kajifox> here?

    <[Ars]Michael> is there any way to make a noise when u get a pm
    <[Ars]Mikoyan> you could grunt in pleasure



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 30.01.2006, 04:35


    <tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
    <tatclass> er.
    <tatclass> hi.
    <andy\code> A common typo.
    <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

    <prower> check out what i put on e-bay
    <tom_> oh god
    <tom_> are you trying to sell your sister again
    <tom_> i keep telling you its illegal

    <Taganath> Mary had a little lamb. It bumped into a pylon. Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon!

    (@Dalby) You have encountered the following error while using Windows Media Player:
    (@Dalby) Error# C00D0BC2
    (@Dalby) Sorry, no more help is available for this problem at this time.
    (@Dalby) cool support

    <Affe> god damn black socks
    <Affe> i need to start pairing them together
    <Affe> i pulled some out figuring 'oh if i pull out a few, i'll eventually end up with a pair'
    <Affe> i had 8 different kinds of socks in my hand
    <Ouroboros> Wow, Affe.
    <Ouroboros> Your life must be incredibly boring if you thought that was interesting enough to tell us.

    <Tac0> theyre fucking with you, the real way to get to it is /quit im a fag
    * Quits: Boo_urns (Quit: Tac0's a fag)

    <bliP> dammit, why can't the guys next door who don't wear shirts be chicks

    <Toolbox> Mon (11:55 PM) : do you want to come over?
    <Toolbox> =-/
    <Toolbox> video games > sex with fat chick?

    +icnocop> any advice on what program to use to compare two files like windiff or something?
    @theForger> how aobut windiff
    @Wyatt> huhuhu
    @Wyatt> or something.
    +icnocop> ok i guess it's good enough. thanks
    +rottle> haha
    +rottle> that was the most pointless thing ever

    <drag0n> Subject: threat level raised
    <drag0n> Due to explosives that were found under a rail bed in France, the Chirac government has raised the threat level in France to the second highest level. The President of France announced that as of 10:00 a.m., the threat level will officially go from "run" to "hide."

    <eviltown103> one time my friend was having ass sex wiht his gf in the living room
    <eviltown103> and when they were done....she dropped one on the carpet
    <eviltown103> then his parents came home
    <eviltown103> it ant biog
    <eviltown103> just a little thing
    <eviltown103> but
    <eviltown103> they ran out leaving it there
    <eviltown103> when the parents c it
    <eviltown103> they take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
    <STLFX0> LMFAOROFL

    <n909> cool the girl across the street has her window on
    <n909> and it's light enough that i can use binoculars
    <n909> brb
    <jack|ass> n909: you are a horrible person.
    <jack|ass> n909: a gentleman would set up a webcam so all could enjoy.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 13.02.2006, 11:30


    <JakeD> My fingers are so fucking big that I'm all like "apjps0-3" just trying to type the word "hi"
    <Winter> wow, i bet you're a hit with the ladies.
    <JakeD> Yeah. "Hi, I'm Lisa." "apjps0-3" "....Fucking freak."
    <Winter> i was thinking IRL, but i suppose you're more clumsy there?
    <JakeD> That was an IRL example.

    <godofcows> I decided on some cool things I'm gonna do when I get rich
    <godofcows> like ask my mom what car she would like the most, and then buy it
    <godofcows> and then when she comes outside to look at it, it'll get run over by a monster truck
    <godofcows> and she'll cry

    <@godofcows> I thought of another thing I'd do if I ever got rich
    <@godofcows> I'd gonna buy a bunch of toys for an orphanage
    <@godofcows> and have them all laid out in front of the building on christmas morning and get someone who works there to wake up all the kids and come out to look
    <@godofcows> and when they all step outside and look, I'm gonna run over the toys with a monster truck and laugh at the looks on their faces

    <zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is
    <zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once'

    Myung LeshBurton: in drivers ed yesterday, the teacher said something about how he used to always look up to superman
    Myung LeshBurton: and how he wished everybody was indestructable like he was
    Myung LeshBurton: so i just had to yell out "But it didnt take kryptonite to kill Superman, just a horse!"
    Myung LeshBurton: the entire class fell silent, 3 people holding back laughter and everybody else horrified at what i said
    RACaira326: hahahahahahahahahaha
    RACaira326: you are a TERRIBLE person
    RACaira326: you should be proud
    Myung LeshBurton: wait, i made it worse
    RACaira326: I cant believe you can make that worse
    Myung LeshBurton: i said "Unless somebody hid kryptonite in the horses ass"

    <lassietoverrijst> 'pwned' is the new amen

    holler its emily: Five Reasons Not to Be a Bastes dicke dicke Brüste:
    holler its emily: 1. You're bald your whole life.
    holler its emily: 2. You have a hole in your head.
    holler its emily: 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
    holler its emily: 4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
    holler its emily: And lastly...
    holler its emily: 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
    DrkVengeance: you wouldnt always faint
    DrkVengeance: depends on how well you can hold your licker

    <timmo> remember how i told you guys about that chick
    <timmo> i was talking to in the record store
    <McMoo> the imaginary one?

    <akii> what happens when disney goes bankrupt?
    <akii> does walt get unfrozen?
    <nigd> haahha
    <nigd> how pissed would you be
    <nigd> "IM ALIVE!"
    <nigd> "yes"
    <nigd> "Did you cure me?"
    <nigd> "no"
    <nigd> "Why unfreeze me then?"
    <nigd> "You're going broke"
    <nigd> "fuck."

    <deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
    <deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
    <rwhom> did you get it right?
    <deimos> and then they looked at me
    <deimos> and wanted a single part answer
    <deimos> so i thought for a second
    <cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job.

    <[vr]bLaZe|wErK> i finally registered for me fall classes
    <[zT]Lunchie> i hope english is one of them

    <Zephyrr> Nobody should steal my band's name...not that they'd want it...but if they do, I'll tell my mother and she'll do stuff...
    <Zephyrr> So there.
    <Undine> Fear Zephs mom.
    <Undine> She does stuff.

    <Turranius> Hate it when I wanna watch a movie, but dont wanna start it cause I need to pee and I'm too lazy to get up.
    <Turranius> Im thirsty too
    <Turranius> Hmm, I might be able to solve this after all.

    <Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said "COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me"
    <Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing
    <APE_> is she hot?
    <Dilbert> yes
    <Dilbert> my sister is very hot
    <Chris_Walken> ....................
    <ragnarok2040> ............
    <ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org
    <Dilbert> why?

    <cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
    <DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
    <DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
    <cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to unsuspecting sales people
    <DarthBong> hehe
    <keetz> hahaha
    <DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"

    <zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is real?
    <zexis> every 2 minutes a woman is raped in Ohio
    <hal> why doesn't she just move?



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 04.03.2006, 02:57


    <WHEELJACK> it's against my religion to drink
    <bf> what religion is that
    <WHEELJACK> poverty

    <[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
    <ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.

    <Mooglez> the lack of intelligent and cultured converstaion bores me
    <Mooglez> laterz bitchez

    <_ohm> sara, as a girl i have to ask you a serious question
    <_ohm> girl/woman
    <_ohm> do you know when a guy is producing massive amounts of ass sweat

    <dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
    <nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade

    <@Goshin> thereslike
    <@Goshin> halfacookieunderneathmyspacebar

    *** Fl0g (Phaket@03.gate4.yokota.attmil.ne.jp) has joined #math
    <Fl0g> PERVERTS!!!
    *** Fl0g (Phaket@03.gate4.yokota.attmil.ne.jp) has left #math

    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
    BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
    BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
    BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
    BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
    BlackAdder> IN FACT
    BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
    BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
    BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
    *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
    *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
    t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
    CRCError> right
    heartless> Right.
    r3v> right

    <Stryyp> im never stopping for small animals crossing the road again
    <Stryyp> i hit on the brakes and almost wrecked.
    <Stryyp> the little bastard sits there and stares at me for a minute, then continues to cross the road
    <Stryyp> and out of nowhere a truck comes from the other direction and pancakes the sucker

    <Sceptic> I am not going to argue mideast history and politics here. I have better, more useful things to do--such as draining the ocean with a spoon.
    <David> Just out of interest, where will you be putting the water?



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 04.03.2006, 22:28


    <Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.

    {[FoF]}Draegos: no, I dont jerk off
    {[FoF]}Draegos: i never jacked off and never will
    xceptional: your nuts must be the size of bean bag chairs

    <PetrDoubt> "Our local support is in Dallas, sir."
    <PetrDoubt> Remember, when you call Dallas, you aren't calling across the
    country, you're calling next door!

    <Xetrov`> im gonna go try out this "physical activity" shit i keep hearing about

    Statik : are you going to sleep?
    Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
    Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(

    <rizen> accept cock
    <rizen> er
    <rizen> accept, cock

    <FlyNavy> I'm on irc, discussing why I can't get laid
    <FlyNavy> and I realize
    <gee> muahahaha.
    <FlyNavy> I can't get laid cause I'm on irc all the fucking time

    * jasn_78 then sucks ur clit as finger ur wet tight pussy
    * hot_gurl_4_u grabs hold of your cock harder, moaning louder and louder, until finally her anus can take no more and she accidentally shits on your hair
    <hot_gurl_4_u> hehe, sorry ;)
    <jasn_78> yuck
    <hot_gurl_4_u> sorry, its a medical problem :(
    <-- jasn_78 has quit (Exit: )

    <ziz> i wrote a haiku
    <ziz> but it is not very good
    <ziz> so i won't share it
    <Nastard> i wrote one myself
    <Nastard> it is much better than yours
    <Nastard> i should write some more

    <Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for example
    <Pat> its "neo"
    <Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
    <Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
    <Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
    <Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
    <Pat> yes
    <Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
    <Pat> the oracle is really a guy
    <Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
    <Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's actually the one.
    <Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out

    <noddy> oops, i banned tgo last night and forgot to remove it :/
    <Mortarion> yes you did
    <noddy> sorry dude :*(
    <The_Gifted_One> yeah, u whore :P
    <noddy> :/
    <Mortarion> am i gonna have to start checking the ban list when i get up every morning again?
    <noddy> again!?
    <Mortarion> yes, when i first gave you ops i'd have to check the banlist, usually you hadn't banned anyone in particular, you'd just filled it up with crap banmasks
    <Mortarion> i got up one morning and like 40 countries had been banned
    <The_Gifted_One> ROFL

    <Capt_Suicide> god fucking damnit
    <Capt_Suicide> my sister puked all over my toilet
    <Capt_Suicide> i just fucking cleaned that thing earlier from where nathan shit all over it
    <Capt_Suicide> good thing i bought that toilet bowl cleaner today
    <Kornered> what a rediculous thing to waste your money on
    <FaQz0r> get a dog
    <FaQz0r> dogs clean everything

    <Eugene> Packets: Sent = 1000, Received = 455, Lost = 545 (54% loss)
    <Eugene> Minimum = 315ms, Maximum = 1127ms, Average = 592ms
    <Eugene> geez, I don't even think this even counts as the internet anymore.
    <Eugene> I can probably get better responses with two tin cans and a piece of string.

    <Spear> what's an american idol?
    <Exorcist|iDM> money

    <[-Blacksword-]> brb, dishes have developed their own language and are talking to the garbage about overthrowing me... i must correct this

    <RST> you suck huge donkey dick
    <RST> and not only you
    <RST> but your sister too
    <RST> !
    <Felon> what happens in Tijuana stays in Tijuana
    <Felon> you know the rules

    <Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
    <JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
    <Fry> What about loss of blood ?
    <Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
    <JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
    <JDigital> Or lag.

    <Valathar> No matter how depressed you are.... there is NOTHING that can't be fixed by titties.

    <Darkz> Can't get drunk, work soon
    <Delusion> Your priorities disgust me.

    <Dead_Poets_Society> Phuser has this talent to point out the obvious
    <Phuser> Dead_Poets_Society is receiving oral sex from a hamster

    <WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
    <mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
    <mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
    <mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan

    <+sic6sic> HOLY FUCK!
    <+sic6sic> i just found a cd full of pr0n i forgot i had
    <+sic6sic> }=]
    * +sic6sic is gone (reason: uhhhhh...uhm.....sleeping? )

    <ignatios> synchronised swimming mang
    <Schatten> ok
    <ignatios> _o>
    <Schatten> _o>
    <ignatios> <o_
    <paranoid> <o_
    <Schatten> <o_
    <ignatios> o/
    <paranoid> o/
    <Schatten> o/
    <ignatios> <o>
    <paranoid> <o>
    <paranoid> ~~~~~~~~~~~<o/~~~~~~~~ HOLY SHIT I CAN'T SWIM
    <ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~
    <ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    <sjh> I'm bored, someone entertain me.
    * GeminiGirl hands sjh a pretty girl to play with
    <sjh> What's her name?
    <GeminiGIrl> candy
    <sjh> Candy is a sluts name.
    <GeminiGirl> um... natalie then
    <sjh> I only know one Natalie, and she's a stupid bitch
    <GeminiGirl> :/ my name is natalie
    <sjh> Yeah, I know. You're the only Natalie I know.

    * Malik_Ishtar begins to get impotent
    <Malik_Ishtar> :O
    <Malik_Ishtar> impatient
    * Malik_Ishtar dies

    <[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome.
    <Cel> ....uh huh.
    <Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."

    * Bassfiend flicks to "The Avengers" for a bit of Uma...
    < planetWayne> nah - shes a bit ... ugly..
    < planetWayne> although I liked killbill#
    * Bassfiend doesn't want to talk to planetWayne ever again.
    < Bassfiend> Uma is my love!!!
    < planetWayne> her eyes are not set properly.
    < Bassfiend> Correct ...
    < Bassfiend> ... they should be four inches above the level of my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste.

    <Goldmoon> its amazing what you can get with batting your eyelashes and showing your tits.. lol
    <n0nthing> raped?

    <Caskie> Ive gotta try and write a 17 page letter, but i dont kno what to write
    <Fletch> Just write 'i am a fish' 400 times
    <Caskie? no! :P, thats a waste of paper
    <Fletch> Pfft,Im sick of people saying 'dont waste paper'. If trees wanted to live, they'd all carry guns



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 05.03.2006, 12:34


    <berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
    <berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
    <merkaba> thats pretty good berz
    <berzerk0r> i like it
    <MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme

    <infra> read the freebsd handbook
    <infra> then read it again
    <phaze> then burn it and shoot yoruself

    <DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."

    <looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help
    <looooly> ?
    <voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can read your mind.
    <looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ???
    <voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties understanding sarcasm.

    <AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America.
    <AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.
    <AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
    <AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."

    <barryk> Pillows: do you believe Iraq posed a direct threat to US homeland security ?
    <`dA> yes
    <`dA> iraq was an asshole
    <spikeb> and the us military was a giant Bastes dicke dicke Brüste

    <Berawler> Is there any sanity or light left in this shrivelled husk of a world?
    <SingingDancingMoose> There was, but we had to trade it in for the internet.
    <Berawler> That is quite possibly the best response to any question ever.

    (anuj) Strangest thing happened today.
    (anuj) I saw one of those Progessive Insurance SUVs heading towards an accident scene.
    (anuj) And the SUV got smacked by an 18-wheeler because it ran a red light.
    (anuj) The irony didn't hit me until just now.

    <Conflict> my girlfriend tattooed this guy's dick last week and when i came home i was like "how'd the tattoo go?" and she goes "fine, except that I needed both hands so I had to hold his cock in my mouth." i was like "thats ni-you whaaa?!??"

    <Mort-Hog> How do u spell Encylop(a)edia?
    <Flirbnic> Insyklepudier

    <gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead

    <zamros> My names Nickie.Im a 17 year old mommie to a beautiful 13 month old little girl(born July 21,2001).Im also 19 weeks pregnant with what is believed to be a boy..and our last child! Our meaning my husband.He's 19 years old and in the army.We've been together 3 years and married for almost 1. We're currently stationed in Fort Bragg,NC. Look forward to reading all your posts!
    <zamros> DEAR NICKIE
    <zamros> YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE
    <zamros> SINCERELY,
    <zamros> GOD

    <discore> hey kali say 'clue'
    <kalihasno> clue

    <fRaz0r> there was a guy who ran into a bank with a gun and shouted freeze mother stickers this is a fuckup
    <JennyRae> did he get any money?
    <fRaz0r> all the people in the bank just laughed and he ran off embarrased lol
    <JennyRae> darn... he didnt get any money.....

    <sgamer> man
    <sgamer> i know how pepsi can beat coke
    <NookieMonster> Hey Gamer!
    <sgamer> they need to get britney dumbass again
    <NookieMonster> by tasting better?
    <sgamer> and they need a commercial
    <sgamer> during the super bowl
    <sgamer> at the hottest part of the super bowl
    <NookieMonster> Britney with no panties...
    <sgamer> and she does this:
    <sgamer> takes a drink
    <sgamer> *ahhh*
    <sgamer> then says "oh yeah, i swallow"
    <sgamer> then keeps drinking
    <sgamer> fade to pepsi logo, fin
    <NookieMonster> Thats great!!
    <sgamer> i am an advertising genius

    <Stormrider> I should bomb something
    <Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
    <Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
    <Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
    *** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
    <FBI> We saw it anyway.
    *** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

    <Ozymandias> WTF is an accronym

    <Simpsoid> sand0 i dont mean to sound like a cunt but you are gayer than a bag full of butterflies

    <VUlpixLover> making fun of people who can't read is intolerable. you shouldn't say anything mean about them.
    <NoTruth> Yeah you should write it.

    <1337man> i jast walked in on my brother stripping to a web cam.... >.<
    <heyall> lol
    <me101> just another case of "hey bro whats AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

    <zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was going to be difficult
    <zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened

    <Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.

    <EvilJoven> the canadian navy has 2 submarines, the biggest mall in canada has 3
    <EvilJoven> something is wrong with this country

    Blade Madrigal: Why don't Libraries carry books on suicide?
    Ice Sickle: They'd never get returned?
    Blade Madrigal: there you go.
    Ice Sickle wins.
    BanishTheShadowKing: .. Dang. That's the first time I ever saw anyone answer a joke. That's awesome.
    HailFire: Neko, you have l337 skills.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 06.03.2006, 14:41


    <SysErr0r> i'm gonna eat a box of chocolate covered strawberries then jerk off
    <SysErr0r> hows THAT for romance

    <Ed> Why is there so much fat porn lately? Someone needs to be shot.
    <Rivorus> what the hell is wrong with fat porn?
    <Toad> Yeah, I'm sure they all have great personalities.

    <PookaEAT> Smoking makes baby jesus cry
    <@PookaEAT> smoking gives baby jesus lung cancer

    <iretd> BTW, when you see 'TS' in a movie pr0n header, it stands for 'transexual' or 'transvestite'.
    <dalias> hahaha iretd
    <techlord> heh
    <dalias> did you learn that the hard way?
    <iretd> dalias, sure did. Was hard intended pun? :)
    <iretd> There was something more to that chick. Couldn't quite put my finger on it. And then there it was. Something I wouldn't wanna put my finger on.

    <goo_> 4 steps to a happy marriage...
    <goo_> 1. It is important to find a man that cooks and cleans.
    <goo_> 2. It is important to find a man that makes good money.
    <goo_> 3. It is important to find a man that likes to have great sex.
    <goo_> 4. It is very, very, very important that these three men never meet.

    <DVS01> i read about some unix server dying every night
    <DVS01> so the techs stayed overnite drinking coffee to see why it dies every nite
    <DVS01> then they see the maid come in, unplug the server, plug in the vacuum, vacuum the floor, replug the server and leave.

    <arpee> um
    <arpee> i have a charge on my account from 11/12/02
    <arpee> oh
    <arpee> i guess that's the next business day
    <arpee> nevermind
    <arpee> i was afraid people from the future were stealing my money

    <fiveiron> where is that new space software
    <fiveiron> that lets you fly through the universe
    <la_haine> i think that's more commonly known as 'LSD'

    <drdink> hey
    <drdink> who's good at graphics and logos and crap?
    <xanatos> drdink; I'm pretty good at crap (I make my own)

    <@SixSyx6> ugly is ok as long as I don't have to kiss them
    <@SixSyx6> or look at them

    <@NullC> LOL. so some 18yr chickie that I talk to just called aol support for some dumb ass problem.. and now the AOL support guy is IMing her and talking dirty to her and she's freaked out.

    <Nyschashi-Seikun> i ate at black anus, there meat is so shitty
    <Nyschashi-Seikun> *angus

    <Zeta7> man
    <Zeta7> dont give me that guns are bad shit
    <Zeta7> I have numerous guns and I dont remember the last time a life was taken with any of them
    <[sq]> guns
    <[sq]> hehe
    <[sq]> you know i have blackouts like that too

    themadchef: they dont hire that often
    themadchef: i went there awhile ago
    iLOVEthat AliceD: and?
    themadchef: they werent hiring
    themadchef: lol
    iLOVEthat AliceD: thats a fucked up story man
    iLOVEthat AliceD: i liked the twist ending



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 08.03.2006, 13:57


    *** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
    <hurstdog> don't make me kill you
    <pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???

    <cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!").

    <Sandman> You know something? Burning hair reeks.
    <Zibblsnrt> I think that's nature's way of telling you, "Don't set your hair on fire, dipshit!"

    <Toll> well lets see. moses was supposed to have lived some 800 years... and had a number of wives... could it be that he died at 75 but looked 800 after haveing lived with more then one
    <CBA> Those were dog years.

    <Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.

    ð Eviepurr has a magic tail and will grant all wishes
    <ieatrocks> i wish your tail to catch on fire

    <[H]Mephisto_kur_srv_> nArKeD... How flexible is your morality?
    <nArKeD> what morals?
    <0dan0> that is the right answer

    <picklehammer> im gay too
    <picklehammer> oops wrong room

    <Khey> There was this soap opera on the TV in the customer lounge at work and there were these black people on it
    <Khey> And I thought to myself
    <Khey> "Man, why don't they get 'real' black people in soap operas?"
    <duffey> Haha
    <Khey> I'm not talking about some upper-middle class light-skinned 'nigga' either.
    <Khey> Some dark-skinned, thugg'd out, bling-blingin', grill'd up guy.
    <Khey> With cornrows and a stocking cap
    <Khey> I'd watch soap opera's then.
    <Khey> "Oh no, Johnny's mom was kidnapped"
    <Khey> "AW SHIT NIGGA I'S FUNNA CAP ME SOME CRACKAS"
    <Khey> or something
    <Khey> Anyways, enough of Stereotype Theatre with Mr.K

    <+an_ass733> Hey guys I have someting interesing to tell
    <+an_ass733> I went to a chinese restaurant for lunch today
    <+an_ass733> The fortune cookie said "A successful life comes from a life of virtue and hard work."
    <+an_ass733> On the back were the lottery numbers.

    <Nuclear> I can imagine watching TV while giving you head, but during sex???
    <Nitronium> How can she watch TV while giving you head?
    <MegaDeth> He must be a tellytubby...

    <+MrKite> ah, no more obvious sign of intense boredom than taking a bendy figure of Mickey Mouse and making it look like he's pointing at his crotch

    <Tetsuo> I've given up doubting the search phrases you say people find your site by. You can't possibly make stuff that stupid up.
    <CommanderStab> Oh yeh?! Check this joke out for size!
    <Tetsuo> Oh Lord, what have I done now? ^_-
    <CommanderStab> "What's the difference between a tax cheat and a corpse?"
    <CommanderStab> "One's a Fed Ducker, and the other's a..."
    <CommanderStab> ...Shit, I forgot how it ends.....
    <Tetsuo> I take it all back.

    Gangster Style*** says:
    np np what are friends for
    §teve says:
    casual sex and borrowing money?

    Keewa: ::buries her head in your shit:: X3
    Keewa: ...errr
    Keewa: shirt*

    <ck10k> is there any site where you can dig up data on someone if you have their social security number?
    <lux> hahah
    <ck10k> damnit. the information age my ass



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 17.03.2006, 21:58


    <zamros> WHEN I SAW IT I WANTED TO SHIT MY PANTS
    <zamros> THEN I REALIZED I WAS ON THE TOILET
    <zamros> SO I JUST SHIT RIGHT THERE

    troupe: oh shit, i just heard a car crash outside
    cyateon: oh shit
    cyateon: go loot the corpses before they respawn

    <PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing chess?
    <PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me
    <PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row
    <PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has, "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"

    <shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
    <Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your jacket?

    (Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?
    (Brodie) I need viagra for my paln
    (Samadhi) He may check you though
    (Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth
    (Brodie) Sweet
    (Brodie) This is win win

    Droogie1115: my grandma is coming dowm tommorrow and my mom is going to uconn on sunday
    Droogie1115: its going to fucking suck
    Droogie1115: i cant stand my grandma being here
    Droogie1115: because when she is here i cant sleep past 7 30
    napalm 256: she wake u up
    Droogie1115: because she wakes up and takes the nastiest dump that smells up teh whole house and i just wanna kill myself

    <IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper

    <fiz> porn's a good addiction too
    <fiz> not like needy womens
    <fiz> rub my feet... not tonight... in the butt again
    <fiz> bitch whine moan

    <homenerd> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    <homenerd> Fish

    <Quasadu> i'm the kind of guy who, when i accidentally see myself naked in the mirror, i think "my god if i saw that in the woods i'd shoot it and run back to the car"

    wertis: im going to go pick up my brother
    ubermensch: i perfer to pick up chicks but suit yourself
    wertis: fuck you

    <Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory

    [20:21] <Wabajape> how many gbas did you buy?
    [20:21] <KidHype> 2
    [20:22] <KidHype> his and hers
    [20:22] <Wabajape> none for the kids?
    [20:22] <KidHype> we are the kids

    <DMC[tiky]> the word rocks is funny to me, cause when i was a little kid in fox chapel, my friends brother told him GO SUCK ON A ROCK, so he did, and everyone crowded around him and watched him suck on this rock for like 10 minutes...

    <factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
    <factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

    <jasn> if i ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have a 'song' together, after i laugh
    <jasn> i shall suggest master p - you can be my bitch

    <Zombie> sisters are good
    <Sony> She is fat
    <Sony> and she smells
    <Sony> like bear
    <Zombie> lol
    <Zombie> perfect for you
    <Sony> Yeah, I'd hit it
    <Sony> Wait
    <Sony> I mean now
    <Sony> no*

    Kira: GO OUTSIDE AND SEE METEORS NOW.
    c8ie: OK
    c8ie: i dunno where that fucking meteor shower is, but it's certainly not in the sky

    <Subwoofer> My mom's dead :D
    <Subwoofer> :(*

    <MasterG> .....................................................................
    ..................................
    <judas> where's pacman when you need him?

    <ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things
    <ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines
    <ckx> then i'd be in heaven
    <ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball"
    <ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK"
    <ckx> stupid women
    <mdl> haha

    <Overlord> That just pooped into my head.
    <Overlord> Ack, one of my worst typos.

    <minkus> ohh my god these pies taste great
    <minkus> if only i could fuck them
    <minkus> WAIT! I CAN

    <dphead> I think my cat is sick :(
    <phunqe> Why?
    <dphead> It's all twitchy and stuff...
    <phunqe> I'm sure it's just lagged.
    <phunqe> Check its fps.

    <nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a graphic calculator yesterday in math class

    *Lilmuckers is the official sega ho
    *Lilmuckers has official sega ho powers
    *Heroin_Bob is the official Sega Pimp
    *Heroin_Bob slaps lil
    Heroin_Bob- get back to work ho!

    <Prozax> 9 cats? you must be really ugly



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 18.03.2006, 16:34


    <GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to reverse it
    <GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
    <Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope

    <tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen
    <Frostlion> no it'sn't
    <tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling

    [+Makura] did you hear about the Chinese couple that had
    [+Makura] > a retarded baby?
    [+Makura] They named him Sum Ting Wong
    • SeeDee shakes his head
    [+TomHung] so a guy walks into a bar with a monkey
    [+TomHung] i forget the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore

    <Bonz> I saw a debate in the US Congress where the Coast Guard and others were saying it's impossible to smuggle nukes into the US. One of the Congressman asked, "What if they're smart enough to pack it in a bale of marijuana? We know you can't stop THAT."

    <ShowHour> Any hot girls with a cam free for chat?
    <Hot^Gay_Male> yes
    <Hot^Gay_Male> msg me

    <sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
    <Seeker> It can?
    <sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
    <Seeker> I can see where this is going..
    <sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
    <Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
    <sutna> spose not
    <Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    <Castle> Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
    <Bizarre> Because she was deaf and blind?
    <Castle> No, she was a woman.

    <Tonberry> MPs do the same thing on a military base as regular cops do in a city
    <metaldark> harass blacks and skaters?

    <Serafijn> what's that film with the ship and the ghosts?
    <Nightchill> Ghostship?
    <Serafijn> oh yeah



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 21.03.2006, 19:21


    * ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
    being an asshole -
    <ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

    --- [signoff!#windowmaker] NinjaCodr (wife getting naked)

    <Jim> WOAH, HUGE STORY FROM FOX NEWS
    <Jim> KIDS WHO DRINK ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SEX
    <Frinky> WOW
    <Frinky> I never would have guessed that
    <Swimguy37> no kiddin
    <Jim> It's almost as shocking as their "there are perverts on the internet" story

    <Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
    <Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
    <DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
    <Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog

    <[pxd]Dan> is it me or does every boy / girl online in the use or canada have parents who are divorced or separated or close to
    <I_AM_AVRIL> most of them just do it for the sympathy
    <I_AM_AVRIL> and while we're on the subject, my mums dead
    <I_AM_AVRIL> and i slit my wrists

    <euphoria> we had drugs sex and rock and roll now all we have is aids crack and techno

    <chiby> base? is that another word for acid?
    <spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam?
    <chiby> tomorrow
    <spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed

    <no_soul> i snorted Ajax
    <no_soul> i almost died

    <Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
    <amsea_> 17:06
    <Fly_kEaT> am or pm?

    <cait-sith> being in love
    <R0y> i wish
    <R0y> it's all just confusing emotion
    <R0y> one minute you think you love her, the next minute you're on yahoo masturbating with girls in the united states

    <skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
    <skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

    [Join] n0t_4cc3pt4bl3 (hurry-now@ip121.cleveland4.oh.pub-ip.psi.net)
    <WD_40> your nick is not acceptable.
    <n0t_4cc3pt4bl3> indeed

    <DB> So, anyone have a secret to immortality they would like to share with me?
    <Nidoking> Don't die.

    <[TX]-KnacK> I removed irc from the office and saw a 300% increase in productivity

    <mike||afk> does anyone here have princess tutu?
    <Callick> ...
    <Callick> I sure hope not.

    <captain_ben> i hate fucking addons
    <Mr_Day> Don't fuck them, then.
    <Mr_Day> Install them, much easier.

    <Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"
    <Boogieman> and she said "yes"
    <Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
    <Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
    <Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say

    <Timelord> My beard has blonde hairs.
    <Timelord> And red.
    <Timelord> And brown.
    <Timelord> And black.
    <Timelord> And white.
    <Timelord> And a couple of other shades of those.
    <asshat> stop going down on carebears

    <@drwiii> so ecbc and I go to gamestop to get Mario 64 DS.
    <@drwiii> and i bring my DS along.
    <@drwiii> then we go to this chinese restaurant.
    <@drwiii> and as ecbc's coming back from the restroom, he's like "dude did that
    kid steal your gameboy?"
    <@drwiii> there was some kid at another table fucking around with PictoChat on
    his own DS
    <@drwiii> so i changed the nickname on mine, found the room he was in, and
    scribbled "What you just ate wasn't chicken." and sent it
    <@drwiii> and like 10 seconds later i hear over my shoulder "EWWWW!"
    <@drwiii> apparently he showed it to his mom
    <@drwiii> i powered mine down and kept on eating.
    <@drwiii> that was the best thing EVER.

    <RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people think
    <RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that shouldn't survive are able to

    <Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :)
    <Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question.
    <Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you.
    <Nickster> nvm then.

    <HankMcCoy> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.

    <yrlnry> When was 'O Canada' introduced? Must have been
    pretty recently---maybe in the 1960's?
    <ignatz> "A Canada" through "N Canada" were failures. Then
    MacKenzie MacKenzie, a defrocked Mountie from Lard Heights,
    Alberta, had a flash of inspiration one day while drinking
    maple syrup.
    <ignatz> The rest is history.

    <MK|sleeping> i'd be up for bumpin a taxi ;)
    <MK|sleeping> 6 pissed gamers runnin away from a taxi
    <MK|sleeping> in the midle of the countryside
    <BadAss> lol
    <Ste[Away]> rofl
    <MK|sleeping> fall down a ditch or summit
    <BadAss> get raped again by that q3 guy who just happens to be there
    <MK|sleeping> see it on the news, 6 bodies were fond 2day beaten and left in a bloody pulp, with a note sayin "i 0wn j00, q2 sux, q3 0wn0rz j00" , cryptographers are stil trying to decypher the code

    <Salmon Gurl>I like gays because their funny and nice to be with. Thats why I'm not a lezbian.
    <Salmon Gurl>Guys....I ment guys....

    <CptPlanet> man. i just called my finger a faggot for having a splinter in it.
    <CptPlanet> i need to get some friends, stat.

    <Guest17888> its me Where can i mk trilogy doiwnload???
    <Garret> http://www.firstgov.gov/fgsearch/index.jsp?
    dom0=www.fbi.gov&mw0=warez+sodomy+porn+microsoft+illegal+
    MORTAL+KOMBAT+TRILOGY+DOWNLOAD+FREE&rn=218&in0=domain&
    parsed=true&Submit=Go&domain=fbi.gov
    <Garret> Just go here.
    <Guest17888> garret its true or false
    <Garret> It's true.
    <Garret> I'm getting it at 400KB/s!
    <Guest17888> garret its not true
    <Garret> You clicked the link?
    <Guest17888> yes garret and.....
    <Garret> You do realize you just searched fbi.gov for warez, porn, sodomy, illegal, microsoft, and mortal kombat right?
    <Guest17888> fuck ya all
    * Quits: Guest17888 (MKIRCN-003@212.182.122.Kg9=) (QUIT: User exited)

    <pandabob> Dude, you want to catch bin Laden? Open an account in his name at Blockbuster, and don't return a few DVDs.
    <pandabob> *That'll* catch Bin Laden.

    <Nergy> How much do movies cost these days?
    <Meatwad> matine's cost 5.50 or so
    <Nergy> w00t! I have that!
    <Nergy> in fact, its RIGHT in my pants now
    <Meatwad> dollars not inches
    <Nergy> oh my bad.

    < ihatestan > well obviously there is nothing to do so i'm going to see if sperm is flamable

    <Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
    <EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 27.03.2006, 03:49


    <Hunter`> someone has a life long grudge against me
    <ineffable> Hunter` : yeah, thats probably god

    <IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
    <BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.

    EmoKidDavey: I once masturbated 24 times in 24 hours
    Fallen Tabris: O_O
    Fallen Tabris: That's really unhealthy.
    Fallen Tabris: How much juice did you get out?
    Fallen Tabris: when you have so little left, is it even called masturbating any more?
    Fallen Tabris: When you've done it that many times in a day.
    EmoKidDavey: yeah
    EmoKidDavey: a stick comes out and a flag unfurls that says bang

    <Wasted-> http://bash.org/?1730
    <Wasted-> http://bash.org/?3630
    <BadDoggie> http://bash.org/?22799
    <BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
    <Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something???

    EndOfForever: So, how do you like being a jew?
    AvatarOfPirate: It's ok.
    EndOfForever: What's speaking hebrew like?
    AvatarOfPirate: It's ok. It's hard to read though. There aren't any vowels expressed in it. You have to.. sort of figure it out. It's like...
    EndOfForever: Talking to people on AOL?

    <Siege>: Omg theres this really hot girl at my school.
    <WarHawk>: Aww. Siegebear is in wuv.
    <Siege>:Everytime she smiles i wanna cum all over her face.
    <WarHawk>: Whoa

    <AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
    <SForce> that sounds promising
    <AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
    <SForce> unfortunate
    <SForce> makes me want to stand up

    <aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
    <aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people would automatically start masturbating.

    <Loki> zig, tell me where you live so i can kill you

    <evilbob> installing linux is like piercing your tongue. it'll impress your friends, but it's stupid and painful. and people without pierced tongues will laugh at you when you complain about it.

    <aen> I am so hungry.
    <aen> Germs are shitting in my mouth.
    <aen> And I can taste it.
    <evilbob> oh. I misread that as Germans

    <linux> "So... my girlfriend told me she thought i was a pedophile the other day."
    <linux> "so i says to her, that's an awfully big word coming from a 12 year old."
    <DGF> LOL

    Dr SpaZZo: http://members.tripod.com/tempestgames/razor.jpg
    Syphit: lol, who uses your razor?
    Dr SpaZZo: My sister keeps fucking taking them
    Dr SpaZZo: Theres like, 3 of mine in the shower...
    Syphit: lol, how old is your sister?
    Dr SpaZZo: 20.
    Dr SpaZZo: Youd think she'd be competent to get her own damned razors, wouldnt you.
    Syphit: yeah
    Dr SpaZZo: WELL SHE ISNT

    <Arcturus|BuF> The Sims is the only game where you can kill someone by trapping them between strategically placed toilets

    <iconc1ast> my rhymes are fatter than the average irc girl

    <Shun2> woot
    <Shun2> I found the last GTA3 hidden package
    <slm> wow, welcome to two years ago
    <The359> lol
    <slm> Are you gonna beat bowser next?
    <Shun2> dude
    <Shun2> he's tough

    <dts|Shadow> theres porn on irc?

    <Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
    <Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies.

    <cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
    <HardCore> did it lift u off?
    <cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt

    <Targen> you know, I had a dream with some soldat in it
    <Targen> and also that sniper guy
    <Targen> and also some stuff about a girl
    <Targen> and also these weird people whose anuses were all the way up behind their chest
    <Targen> (seriously)
    <Maxrpg> sounds like a music video!

    <beamz> do they sell Bastes dicke dicke Brüste warmers like those 9volt handwarming gloves/
    <Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"

    <niglet3> my "father" sent me a mail with an image (joke about florida's voting procedure, has a picture of some fisher-price toy) -- the source? forum.incesttaboo.com ...

    <MadHatt3r> if you were around men 24 hours a day, for quite a few years
    <MadHatt3r> the idea of hetro and homosexuality would go flying out the window
    <Jeeeeebus> MadHatt3r: remind me not to spend long periods of time with you..

    <Typhon> 1 4m @n 31337 H@X0r 4nd I OwNz0R 4t kW4k3 3 4REN@. Fe4r My m4d $K1llS, D0odZ
    <xr> Typhon: you own at quake e arena ?

    <m[e]ntor> Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless lan cable?
    <insight> Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never will be invented"-department or something.

    RIAA Rep 387: My name is Mark Guineve, and I am a representative of the Recording Industry Association of America. We here at the RIAA, have recieved reports of illegal filesharing of copyrighted materials on your PC. We are currently filing lawsuits, against copyright infringement offenders, and are willing to give you a courtesy warning to stop these illegal activities, or we will subpoenea your ISP, to take further action.
    RIAA Rep 387: We have detected several acts of illegal piracy on your computer.
    RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, I am also in New Jersey and I can call your house if you would prefer.
    Girl: what am i supposed to do
    RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, are you currently using KaZaA, or is it another File-Sharing service?
    Girl: kazaa
    Girl: i just closed out of it
    Girl: WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!!!
    RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, it is necessary that you now dance around topless with a fishstick in your pants.
    RIAA Rep 387: Ma'am, are you doing this yet?
    Girl: **** u!
    RIAA Rep 387: Not appropriate language, Kristy.
    RIAA Rep 387: Nah, I'm just messin' with you.
    Girl: that scared me.. i was about to start dancin
    Girl: jp who is this

    <p0m> AGDN: My father's always calling me to explain the toolbar on Word.
    <p0m> Its rediculous.
    <p0m> "Whats this button do?" "I Don't fucking know! CLIIIIICK IT!"

    <mindstorms> windows asked me to put in a new password, and i put in Bastes dicke dicke Brüste.
    <mindstorms> and it told me to come up with a new fucking joke.

    kevin: what did you do tonight
    Lucious: worked you?
    kevin: haha no no, you didnt work me...i wouldve noticed



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 03.04.2006, 19:59


    <BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
    <BombScare> damn im lazy

    <eden2> t_r: heh, patrick and i went and saw star wars last night......and i saw the WHOLE thing this time
    <eden2> ...the whole movie, that is

    <bansidhe>Last night my wife and I are having sex (me on top) and just as we hit the big 'O', I accedently slip out and make a mess on our stomaches.
    <bansidhe>After we catch our breath, she starts laughing and gets this playful/evil look in her eye. Then she gets all serious and says...
    <bansidhe>"Honey, I need to tell you something.... I feel something has come between us."
    <bansidhe>Hehe... My wife rocks!

    <Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
    <Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
    <Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened"

    <WoobiE> hey.. i see me in that pic!
    <WoobiE> hooray for me
    <jimiw> your mum must be proud
    <WoobiE> yep
    <WoobiE> doesnt explain why she beats me and tells me i destroyed the family though

    <zhirinovsky> do you know why old women don't get sex? have you ever tried to peel apart grilled cheese sandwich?

    <tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
    <go_amd_go> because your here

    <sparhawk85> if Electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    <Fjoder> I hate when ppl say they gonna call and then they dont
    <Harvard> You sound like a girl.
    <Fjoder> I am a girl
    <Harvard> That explains it.

    leafhound> i find it humorous as fuck that what is babyfat on girls is on guys...a beergut
    mo0nChiLd> nah, its a fuel tank for a sex machine

    <Phryss> Sometimes, I sit back and think about what my father used to tell me about the birds and the bees: "Stop fucking the dog. The neighbors are watching, and it's their dog."

    <WorldEdit> do you think the word emo would be accepted in scrabble
    <Sevivrus> Of course not. Emos are never accepted anywhere.

    <neck> my arse has fucking fallen asleep again ..
    <neck> i cant get it up
    <neck> i mean get up

    <jorm> it will be my favorite thing until i remember that i have a Bastes dicke dicke Brüste.

    <[-FcG-]Digger> Let's all hold hands and sing...on second thought, let's wait until Soad washes his hands.
    <[-FcG-]SOAD17[-RawR-]> i don't f@p THAT much :/

    <DJ_Antonissen> learned?
    <DJ_Antonissen> isn't that for nerds?

    <screevo> I'm stranded at the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump...

    Notnilc: Is Eric working today?
    Jwald90726: If by “working” you mean “Fucking a minor” then yes.

    <Sumezworking> I hate people who let their kids run around naked on the beach..
    <Squinky> I know, it's hard to hide an erection in swimming trunks

    <Ettin> Because If sdib f
    <Ettin> FUCK
    <Ettin> I just fell out of my chair

    <Snoody> Banky, are you still a virgin?
    <Banky> Ask your mom.
    <Snoody> She said yes.

    Explosions: why didnt' you come?
    FlakGuitar: food poisoning
    Explosions: what did you have
    FlakGuitar: alcohol

    <ikkenai> these tortilla chips are growing dangerously salty
    <ikkenai> old dutch is approaching the limits of the sodium frontier
    <CanuckGod> ikke: the Ristorante ones?
    <ikkenai> yeah
    <CanuckGod> those things are as salty as a nigger's balls

    <Drago> hey random, ya want to test something for me?
    <random> if its long, tubular, made out of plastic and gently vibrates..... then no. But if its some code.. ok

    •Fileman• i slept like a baby last night
    •DuFF• suckin your thumb and shittin the bed?

    <minion> what should i get for lunch
    <minion> i have $4
    <keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker

    <Gunth> before i was a teen i thought "Masturbate" was some kind of master or bachelor degree... so when my teachers asked me what i wanted to do with my life.. i told them "masturbate"

    <VIVI> Xbox already has the following games:
    <VIVI> Microsoft Word
    <VIVI> Microsoft Excel
    <VIVI> Solitaire

    (SiNs-) $1,599.99
    (SiNs-) $1,599.70
    (SiNs-) Save $0.29
    (SiNs-) wow
    (SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut

    <Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms
    <Storm> Guess I should leave, brb
    <Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks
    <Storm> Whew, it got put out
    <Zekk> Everything OK?
    <Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get all the chicks out there in their underwear again =P

    XeonGT: my uncle took me out to lunch...at Anita's....my ass still hurts
    HannibalZero: does he always expect that in return?

    <Trivia> 011.1753. What is measured on the Cephalic Index?
    <Trivia> 1st Hint: ***** **** Question Value : 12 Points
    <Olmec> Bastes dicke dicke Brüste size

    <Pigs> so our network guy is a cock smoker
    <Joes_meat> I so wanna be one of those.

    <Millenia> Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
    <Mareg> We were right?
    <Millenia> You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge out my own eyes.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 08.04.2006, 10:50


    Joins: StubbornBitch (~bocazas@3eb8f587.20db5883.ss.shawcable.net)
    <Analu> Dude! Every woman I've ever known just entered the chat

    <Darkness9> *wonders how many girls he could fit in a back seat of a car*
    <Zibzibzib> depends.. if you're in the car, none

    <Feeldeath> Man i had a bad day !!!
    <Formin> o great =( what happened?
    <Feeldeath> well i was masturbating on my couche an I fell of
    <Formin> hahaha o god
    <Feeldeath> thats not the worst part. i hit my head on the coffee table and knocked myself out and my mom came in and found me unconscience on the floor with my dick in one hand and a porn mag in the other.
    <Formin> lmao

    <mritche> Hmmm.. what to do at a school when virtually nobody else is there and I have 7 P4s to play with on a fat pipe
    <ess-vid> 7 screen streaming porn?
    <sean> lmao

    Cat1013: Whoops
    Cat1013: I just really confused my grandma.
    HermitKing: She has IM?
    Cat1013: She just got it. I was talking to her, and she asked about my new car.
    Cat1013: I said that it was fine, but that it makes a funny noise whenever I shift.
    HermitKing: So?
    Cat1013: I left the "f" out of "shift".

    <[--S--]> we drove past your house last night owen
    <an|man|ac> i thought they only took the garbage on fridays

    * Volt9000 gazes through binoculars at DopefishJustin "And here we have the nerd, in his natural habitat, the Star Trek convention. Notice his pale skin and thick glasses, typical of the species nerdius nevergonnagetlaidius."

    < HomeBrewR> man, i wish today was friday
    <@LucyFerr> it is
    < HomeBrewR> cool! do i get 2 more wishes?
    <@LucyFerr> only if you rub the lamp
    < HomeBrewR> already did that today

    < Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine

    <Rokkr> humor's a good thing
    <Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
    <tack> or rape them
    <Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
    <tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 13.04.2006, 22:02


    <watchy_> i'm so fat
    <watchy_> i forgot where my leg was

    <DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
    <DooD> along with her home address.
    <DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
    <Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"

    <MpTaNk> man, while I was at the beach I made this huge ass sand castle and I was about to make a major change that could have messed it up and I thought to my self, "Make a backup just in case" then I felt stupid
    <MpTaNk> :\

    <dirtyfrog> My life's ambition is to be quoted on bash.
    <dirtyfrog> And that's the truth
    <ap0c> That's really really sad.

    <rastakid> Geez .. I really should stop with computers. I wrote a valentine card, and signed it with "H4ppy V4l3nt1n3"

    <Anatole> Drug money supports terrorism. Oil money supports terrorism. Tax money supports terrorism.
    <Anatole> I just cut out the middlemen and write a check each week for ten dollars, made out to "TERRORISM."
    <Ein> sweet
    <Ein> where do I mail my check?
    <Anatole> Wherever. The terrorists will find it.

    <pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.

    <Tetsuya_Ryuji> I just had sex
    <Tetsuya_Ryuji> And it was good
    <Roovis> testuya, try the multiplayer version, its better.

    <s_> my brother put signs up where the bathrooms are
    <s_> because i pissed in the hallway last night



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 20.04.2006, 14:26


    <poke> i'm not afraid of flying.
    <poke> i'm afraid of being 35,000 feet in the air and suddenly *not* flying.

    ::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com); to get over someone old, get under someone new

    <cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA

    <_Bliss_> god hates me so he gave me a vagina

    <Gohanmastaflex> www.imac.com - "LOOLLOLOL I GOT A PC BTU I CNT FIGUR IT OWT IT WEN ALL LIKE "BEEEEEEP' AND NO WI GOT A MAC AND ITS LIKE 'BEEP' BUT IN TEH GOOD WAY SO YAH ITS PRETY."
    <Gohanmastaflex> Macintosh computer are easy to use. It's also easy to stick your hand in a wood chipper.

    <Aury> O.o;; You all have to wait longer for movies to come out?
    <leckie> Well yeah... sometimes.
    <Aury> What is that, some sort of backwater hell of a town?
    <leckie> It's the UK Aury.

    <Agent_Mono> vote for me to be op and you will go to heaven
    <ZestyO> lol
    <ZestyO> great campaign
    <ZestyO> you work for the bush administration?
    <Seraya> Sure sounds like it.

    <SS_Gogeta_27> you know how people put 'wash me' on cars in the dust?
    <Zorak> yeah?
    * ChanServ sets mode: +v SS_Gogeta_27
    <+SS_Gogeta_27> when we came out from the movie my friends car said 'i wish my wife was this dirty'

    <Twiztid> My gf called me gay
    <Twiztid> I came back with
    <Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
    <Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
    <Linguica> whats wrong with that
    <Twiztid> nothing
    <Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

    <MystMan> you followed me!! you freaky stalker!
    <Cyber_Akuma_Zero> I am not a stalker
    <Cyber_Akuma_Zero> btw, you're out of milk

    <Azzy> "Don't touch me there, yer not my father"...

    <+sysys> i could tell you if WINDOWS FUCKING ME didn't crash
    <+sysys> er
    <+sysys> WINDOWS ME
    <+sysys> that didnt come out right
    <@spacemank> LOL

    <Costilled> "I run Linux." T-shirts
    <Costilled> availible in sizes L to XXXXL

    <marduk> why do all the 14-year old girls at my school have completely impossible crushes, like orlando bloom?
    <marduk> why don't they go for someone more realistic?
    <marduk> like r. kelly.

    <ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
    <proto_> No no no, you take these orally.

    <sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving a handjob to Einstein."



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 25.04.2006, 23:58


    <FMJaguar> good, we don't have time for elitists here
    * FMJaguar > all of you

    * DuneBoy wonders why his code won't compile
    <DuneBoy> missing ) my ass
    <ZorbaTHut> "Ironically, however, his ass was indeed missing its right cheek."

    <HrdwrBoB> un.. what's rl?
    <un> isn't that what happens when you type brb?
    <HrdwrBoB> no that's when I get food

    [bytraper] they are my family.... I love them like they were my own, I couldn't part with them for less than $20

    <rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
    <rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
    <rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
    <rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
    <rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
    <rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
    <rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL

    <gig103> I drove by the fire department the other day, and they had a big public awareness sign that read, "Are your house numbers visible?" I thought, "Who the hell cares? How about you just stop at the house that's on fire?!"

    <enntee> man
    <enntee> i think my fucking cat is pregneant
    <angry> dude
    <angry> you should have used protection.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 07.05.2006, 04:00


    <Sandman> You know something? Burning hair reeks.
    <Zibblsnrt> I think that's nature's way of telling you, "Don't set your hair on fire, dipshit!"

    <Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than windows
    <Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
    <Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS.

    <blazed> yeah, what do you guys do when nobody is watching you?
    <PMonk> roll my boogers into a ball and play with them, measure my dick with a tape ruler, chew my toenails..
    <princealbert> try to suck my dick.. im making progress
    <heurist> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off.. when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs, then it flies across the room.

    <Tetrad> holy shit
    <Tetrad> I found a sword worth 110000
    <hoho> holy shit
    <hoho> no ones cares

    <@daerid> I have a drinking problem
    <@daerid> I just spilled pepsi on my shirt 4 times in a row

    <jafo> one more drink and I'll be ready for gay sex

    * CoolNo9 was in a room with 15 dba's and 1 coldfusion developer
    <CoolNo9> guess which one I was :)
    <ConqSoft> CoolNo9: The gay one?

    <Sphlynxo> well
    <Sphlynxo> anytime there's a decent girl im with
    <Sphlynxo> she's always a drinker
    <Sphlynxo> damn it
    <Sphlynxo> id like a hot girl who DOESNT drink
    <wshs> that should tellyou something

    <prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist

    <b1u3> i hate those fat/ugly girls who go around wo bras like theyre playboy bunnies
    <b1u3> them: 'im secure with my body!' me: 'im not'

    Yami: Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
    cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
    live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
    to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
    all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
    Yami: The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
    apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
    shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your
    face or you'll be eaten."
    Yami: The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
    in pain, so he was killed.
    Yami: The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
    king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
    should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
    ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
    Yami: The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
    asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it" The
    second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
    coming with pineapples."

    <CyberThor> HIDE THE SHIT, SHARKEY'S HERE!
    * Silkenray throws a blanket over Thor
    * CyberThor is soothed by the calming, womb-like combination of warm and dark

    <PTM> when i was ten...
    <PTM> (interesting story, no?)
    <PTM> i was messing around with a neighbor girl
    <PTM> and like
    <PTM> it was mostly naked wrestling
    <PTM> with penetration
    <PTM> but no orgasms.
    <Damsel> you fucking fucked at 10?
    <PTM> well if that's your definition of fuck, i suppose

    <WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
    <mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
    <mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
    <mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan

    <PamelaPeaks> i love when you start at a computer screen for a long time and words start to meld...
    <PamelaPeaks> so the "Harry Potter Box Set" becomes the "Harry Potter Sex Bot"



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 08.05.2006, 00:37


    <Red_Draco> "See the Pope, $5. Ride the Pope, $10."

    <Azrel> that was a pain in the ass
    <AnalBoy24m> I know the feeling.

    <Karyon> [12:10] * Quits: RainyDay (Will you remember my ass or my brain? :))
    <Karyon> WELL THEY BOTH GOT A LARGE HOLE IN THEM, AND ARE BOTH FULL OF SHIT!!!!!!!!

    -!- LWashu [LWX_IRC_Cl@ti100710a143-0330.dialup.online.no] has joined #Channel
    < LWashu> /j harstad
    < LWashu> join asd
    < LWashu> JOIN Harstad
    < LWashu> JOIN #HARSTAD
    < LWashu> #JOIN Harstad
    < LWashu> /JOIN Harstad
    <@unixpeon> wow
    -!- LWashu was kicked from #channel by sybase [shut the fuck up]

    Chibinaeko: OH OH!!! Tell me what a boygasm feels like!!!!
    azurerenraku: Too hard to explain
    Chibinaeko: would you try for a scooby snack?

    <MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F are the letters for bra sizes?
    <MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you were informed!
    <MattV> A- Almost boobs
    <MattV> B- Barely there
    <MattV> C- Can't complain!
    <MattV> D- Damn!
    <MattV> DD- Double damn!
    <MattV> E- Enormous!
    <MattV> F- Fake.

    <Kythren> I think it would be hilarious if North Korea decided to launch a pre-emptive attack on the US while we're busy messing around with Iraq.
    <Ryuujin> Kythren, NK has already warned they will
    <Ryuujin> if the US doesn't stop shoving their troops into south korea
    <Kythren> Coming soon from Jerry "I love explosions" Bruckheimer:
    <Kythren> Pearl Harbor II : North Korea Strikes First!
    <Ryuujin> Pearl Harbor III: We really should have seen it coming after the last two times
    <Silence> If that wasn't so serious it might even be funny
    <Kythren> Eh, I'll probably still be laughing about it when I'm being dragged up against the wall by their troops.

    <JangFizett> bleh, I'm hungry
    <Bill> Eat a Dick
    <JangoFizett> I wish I was that flexible

    <dw> wtf is bukakke?
    <Nightfly> dw: Allow all of us to demonstrate.

    <stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out of that later that night.
    <momar> Fer god's sake man!
    <momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can work, it just ain't right.

    <PA_stoned> for once i wasn't thinking about sex
    <PA_stoned> lookit that, i guess being stoned does not necessarily make me horny!
    <DS_lonely> *gasp* and i bet your not stoned.
    <PA_stoned> yes i am!
    <DS_lonely> WHAT!
    <PA_stoned> why else would i be eating pussy with my finger?
    <PA_stoned> oops!
    <DS_lonely> noice!
    <PA_stoned> i meant puddding

    (Crazy) my shampoo is for blonde people :/
    (topher) the instructions are in big letters ?

    <Rewt> oooh
    <Rewt> panic room is on.
    <Rewt> I'd have wireless internet in my panic room
    <Rewt> except with my luck, my plea for help would end up posted on bash.org

    <Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.

    <phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
    <burnison> yep
    <phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
    <burnison> hell yes
    *phex waits for the pun to set in

    <Rapture> I wasn't naked! I had a sock on!

    <BlackDeth> I'M GOING TO GO SMOKE A 8=====D
    <SYch0> yo roll me one too

    *** Quits: MediArc (i am the lover in your bed)
    <roded> i'm going to bed

    <Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
    <Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
    <Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
    <Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
    <Kashan> he's waiting for your call

    CAT g ON k: being given racial shit from a guy named "juan"?
    CAT g ON k: lol
    ATRFenix: yes
    ATRFenix: i made a big speech on how nigger is different from nigga, black on black usage vs white on white usage etc etc
    ATRFenix: since they were lambasting me on how i called them fag
    ATRFenix: they juan says something like, 'Ok, gook.'
    ATRFenix: then i told him to go make me some footballs and it went downhill from there.

    <picklehammer> im gay too
    <picklehammer> oops wrong room

    RetardedCrow: www.ragingrooster.com
    Chloe Margarita: You find the oddest sites. How do you do that?
    RetardedCrow: I looked up cock.
    RetardedCrow: Fights, er, cock FIGHTS

    (doggie^): i would type that word, but i cant spell it
    (doggie^): the one about getting pleasure from other people's misery
    (slippy^): anal sex?

    <prof_barney> hey ryan, whats up dude?
    <necrophiliac> nuthin
    <sw33t_girl> you guys know eachother?
    <necrophiliac> yeah he's my sister
    <prof_barney> no we dont know eachother we just fuck...

    [_Fidel_] your husband is that nigger that hugs u in "bigt.jpg"?
    [rinat2137] dont use that word please.
    [rinat2137] but yeah..thats him
    [_Fidel_] how does a nice white jewish girl like yourself fell inlove with a niggro ?
    [rinat2137] i said dont use that word..please
    [_Fidel_] i'm sorry, "colored" dude
    [rinat2137] and an answer for your question, love is BLIND
    [a_duck] "love is BLIND"... i think you are the blind if you got married with a nigger

    *** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
    <Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
    <Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
    <screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
    <Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 11.06.2006, 11:15


    <Random> Lesbionic? What's that? The six-million-dollar gay woman?

    <theTrick> Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties

    <Angel> Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer

    <Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
    <Dilbert> investors*
    <Dilbert> i meant

    <b1u3> when i was in like 5th grade, a DARE cop came to visit our class
    <b1u3> he was going through his whole deal like 'yes im a real police officer, and this is a real gun on my belt, and if you try to grab it im trained to break your arm upon reflex' and of course we had a doped up kid with ADD in our class who only heard 'this is a real gun, try to grab it'

    Video games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Kristian Wilson, CEO at Nintendo Gaming Corporation Inc.

    <||RoGuE||>: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me where were my parents, and she smelled like beer
    <||RoGuE||>: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been drinking
    <||RoGuE||>: and then she said... well, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been sucking cock, you bitch!
    <[StOrM]>: what did you do rogue?
    <||RoGuE||>: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬

    <Dianuzza> there is a big gay community here in Paris
    <usnjay> yeah.
    <usnjay> it's called "Paris".

    <@sh3p> Download
    <@sh3p> Welcome to File Cauldron!
    <@sh3p> You are downloader number 1,101,922 of 1,104,254 waiting in line.
    <@sh3p> Your download will begin somewhere around June 19 in the year 2044

    <juice> i overheard one of the girls in my dorm saying they wanted to win an orgasm competition
    <spinks> who was that Laura?! Would I know them?!
    <juice> they said they wanted to _win_ the competition spinks.

    <ACityBus> brb sleep

    <Zaboomafoo`> aw shit someone help me!
    <Zaboomafoo`> I happened to mention bukakke and my mom wondered what it was
    <Zaboomafoo`> Im afraid shes gonna like, ask some of her japanese friends what it is and then find out!
    <saijinsux> what did you tell her it was?
    <Zaboomafoo`> a japanese food ;_;

    (doggie^): i cant believe you're getting a new mobile number rather than do work
    (doggie^): i applaud you
    (slippy): lol
    (slippy): it's not worth the money
    (slippy): like that chap who had the WinME machine with the virus
    (slippy): two days later he called again
    (doggie^): rofl
    (slippy): "i opened the virus email again and i'm infected again"
    (slippy): <HangUp>

    *** hohum (corbe@snoop.burghcom.com) has joined channel #iraq
    <hohum> how are you gentlemen?
    <hohum> all your base are belong to US

    <MrBob> I hate Uni. At least in film studies we get to talk about Fight Club.
    <@X-Factor> Wouldnt you be breaking the first 2 rules?

    <Lachlan> Doogie, what the fuck do you think the emergency generators are there for?
    <Doogie> ummm....
    <Sam> Generating Emergencies.

    <DMod> meh I hate watching the same pr0n twice
    <Fatal> watching it twice ruins the ending
    <Thorshammer> haha
    <Thorshammer> omg not on her face!! whatta plot twist



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 15.06.2006, 19:19


    (SiNs-) $1,599.99
    (SiNs-) $1,599.70
    (SiNs-) Save $0.29
    (SiNs-) wow
    (SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut

    <Korben> tits
    <darkraZor> yes, tits
    <Soopa> i agree
    <darkraZor> ...indeed

    <gweedo> the French government's nuclear 'football' contains white flags and translations of 'We surrender' in 178 languages

    <bishead> man there is such a difference between online comp players and online console players.
    <bishead> when i play cs my sexuality is attacked like a hundred times and my mother's weight mentioned 50 times.
    <bishead> i was playing some guy in madden 2004 on ps2. and this guy was all like "hey man ur doing pretty good" and giving me tips and shit.
    <bishead> but i've been playing cs too long. blurted out i wanna fuck ur mother with a pole.
    <bishead> i kinda felt bad after.

    (`zero) ,__ FISH RULE AT DICKSUCKING
    (`zero) | `'. / BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
    (`zero) __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ / TO STOP TO BREATHE
    (`zero) ='. _/..--'`__ `'-._
    (`zero) - '-.--"` === / o `',
    (`zero) )= ( .--_ | _.' (HURF DUH GILLS)
    (`zero) /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.
    (`zero) /_.' ``'-._ '-= _.'
    (`zero) jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-'`
    (`zero) /_.' `/";';`|
    (`zero) ` .'/

    <Mort-Hog> How do u spell Encylop(a)edia?
    <Flirbnic> Insyklepudier

    <TreFitty> bloodClot`, I remember when you made fun of my viewsonic monitor
    <TreFitty> :(
    <bloodClot`> you remember a lot of weird shit that never happened

    (]Joey[> how wsas the party?
    (avarrin-> [oe
    (avarrin-> pine
    (avarrin-> JO9WWkn
    (avarrin-> pinw
    *** avarrin- has quit IRC (My damn controlling terminal disappeared!)
    (]Joey[> damn, must have been good

    <res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
    <mattt> broadband?
    <res0> dick sucking lips
    <res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
    <jotun> yeah, that's my job!
    <res0> sucking dick?
    <jotun> :<

    cynicalkane: why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
    cynicalkane: because there's twenty of them

    <Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
    <Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
    <Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
    <Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
    <Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever.

    <Angelz> cya bskfdhdt
    <Hoopy> can I buy a vowel? :/

    <Jeff> :-(
    <Jeff> :-(
    <Jeff> : (
    <cabbage> your nose fell off

    Cyber J: I've always known my parents hated me, after all... my first toys were a pair of scissors and running shoes...

    <assturbation> this nick doesnt exactly scream "heterosexual"

    <@chupa> i get my cable on the 19th which is gay
    <@chupa> i don't know what i'm gonna do
    <@chupa> what to d/l first
    <@[TrIpLe]> movies
    <@[TrIpLe]> porn movies
    <@[TrIpLe]> full length porn movies

    (FireballX301) this dude says that we need a nation's consent to bomb it
    (FireballX301) whoo
    (FireballX301) The Iraqi government, he added, was "fully informed" about the attack on Falluja, the latest of several bombings against suspected safe houses for Mr. Zarqawi's militants, and he said it "agreed with us on the need to take action."
    (FireballX301) "The point is, we didn't just act on our own," Mr. Armitage said. "A sovereign nation had to agree."
    (FireballX301) so basically...
    (FireballX301) Germany: Lets invade France!
    (FireballX301) France: Help us Britain!
    (FireballX301) Britain: Hey, Germany, can we bomb you?
    (FireballX301) Germany: No.
    (FireballX301) Britain: Oh well, sorry France.

    <+digital-lemon> im gonna invent a tv that blocks out commercials and put dancing stick figures with smilie faces on instead
    <@TreeClock> LOL
    <+digital-lemon> ill call it STV
    <+digital-lemon> pronounced stevie
    <+digital-lemon> stick telivision
    <+digital-lemon> i'll be filthy rich



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 22.06.2006, 10:45


    (Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"

    <Kazz> Everybody kept screeching "DON'T DO IT LOOK AT ALL YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE FOR" and he was like "no im gona do it" and I said "How?" and he said "Knife through the heart" and I was like "Wicked. Send pics."
    <Sharkey> My favorite one was back in #verge years ago. Finally after I ribbed her for about an hour she said that she'd slashed her wrists because of me. I asked her if she was typing with her tongue.
    <Kazz> I suggested he fall on a chainsaw. He liked the messiness.

    <er0s> you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.

    <Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the computer looking at pictures of dildos
    <Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad

    <AsylumXKP> And it hard to hit on the German chicks thanks to the thick language barrier.
    <Erdrick> just pull it out and point to it

    *** ClayStudy is now known as Claymen
    <Dingbat> ClayStudy means Clay is dong study.... so does Claymen mean Clay is doing men? :P
    <Claymen> stfu Dingbat

    * Topic is '#studio64: Sex. Angst. Hate. Idiocy. Socio-theological Debate. ||
    <Sigma> topic change please
    || <Sigma> I'm a big homo. <Sigma> Please stick something large and meaty in my poophole. ||
    <Sigma> Thanks'

    <Heather21> hi
    <negativepositive> who are you?
    <Heather21> just a wife home alone
    <Heather21> hubby is out
    <negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he comes home and hits you some more

    <Dugimodo> ever notice miracles stopped happening when the video camera was invented
    <pog> and then they started up again when digital editing came by

    <FLB> Are you in the mood for some gaming?
    <Ouroboros> Uh huh.
    <FLB> Cause I should be finished in a reasonable amount of time.
    <FLB> So you have more or less two options.
    <FLB> A) You leave me an IP address, and I join you later.
    <FLB> B) You simply wait for my return, at which point game specifics are worked out, and we commence.
    <Ouroboros> C) I find a game, don't tell you the IP, and we never hook up.
    <FLB> D) I hunt you down and kill you.
    <Ouroboros> E) Ow.
    <FLB> F) Somehow we manage to accomplish all of the above.
    <Ouroboros> G) Not likely, but ok.
    <FLB> H) I know, but it was an idea.
    <Ouroboros> I) pick B)
    <FLB> J) I have to scroll up, please hold.
    <Ouroboros> K)
    <FLB> L)OL
    <FLB> M)an this is getting old.
    <Ouroboros> N)o kidding.

    <SROL> Alright! I just gave advice on which underwear/bra combo to wear to a party to my New York ho :D
    <TheBaskinator> What's his name?

    <RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download same song from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if its rare
    <maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they already have them burned on CD and they come with cases and booklets.
    <RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?

    <Mighty> I'm hoping I misheard my mother; she said the daycare my brother is going to is called "Little Third Reich"

    <Musket> is there an echo in here?
    <ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
    <FessyBugger> in here?
    <Kajifox> here?

    * Marilyn-Manson anyone want to chat? i am 17 years old from wales i am gothic, i am a cousin of Kelly Jones of the stereophonics, but they fucking suck, so dont talk to me about them, i also have MSN



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 22.06.2006, 15:47


    <toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
    <toxic> :)
    <toxic> no actually not lesbians
    <CrdStang> hahaha
    <toxic> but that they could finger themselves
    <spazzer> lol
    <toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
    <sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th grade
    <sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin em round
    <sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
    <CrdStang> LOL
    <sy|{0ti|{> yeah
    <sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
    <sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
    <sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin school to do it
    <sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit school to do it fulltime

    <HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important
    now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.

    <ibrahim> is there alive experts?
    <ozzmosis> I've been alive since I was born, you could say I'm an expert at it

    <WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
    <WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
    <WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
    <Evil_God> talking
    <EtherMan> speech
    <D-viant> singing
    <Evil_God> ninjitsu
    <EtherMan> swordsmanship
    <D-viant> violin
    <EtherMan> flight
    <D-viant> fighting
    <EtherMan> homosexuality
    <D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
    <Evil_God> big slapping testicles
    <WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
    <D-viant> expanding rectum
    <Evil_God> opium addiction

    <Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
    <Screwy> and lost 30 days

    <@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex

    <RSN> Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching.. not just target shooting like our neighbours to the south..

    <tatsumi> I wish I could look up and see the stars.
    <Toen> you can, if you go outside
    <tatsumi> ...... go where?

    *** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's, All welcome. Place for 500"
    <Minko> grrrr
    <Minko> You can all come, but I'm not gonna be there
    *** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's <Minko> You can all come"
    <Minko> Stop it guys, I'm busy this weekend
    <Minko> I've got big things planned
    *** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's <Minko> You can all come <Minko> I've got big things planned"
    <Minko> Aaargh

    (ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    (ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.

    <phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
    <juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!"

    <FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
    <Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"

    <Toke> I remember that time i was talking to mod on ICQ
    <Toke> and she was telling me about how you guys confiscated your sons marijuana
    <Toke> and she turned around and saw you rollin up a joint
    <fodders_DS> i had to burn the evidence

    <chadamir> I was gonna call my band 'trebek is god' but we decided that was a better album name and then we decided not to use it at all
    <kolby> and then you realized there was no band
    <kolby> it was just you and a karaoke machine

    <Firemoth> Weird, My cat's got conjunctivitis in one of his eyes and i have to put like a jell type cream on his eye. He doesn't mind me puting it on there one bit, He just sits back and lets me squeeze it on. Doesn't flinch or anything.
    <Agg> dude, he's been dead for 2 weeks now.

    <AL9000> and not too long ago my dad was installing doorbells in the house, and he kept testing them, so I dreamed I was in this house and these black women kept ringing the doorbell
    <Logic_BomB> black women ring the bell, black men use the window

    <MaoistBanker> The Olsen Twins Announce Where They Will Go To College.............
    <MaoistBanker> NEW YORK UNIVERSITY, You can bet they will be getting a torrent of applications for the summer and fall semesters.
    <WhatTheChrist> lol remember last time new york had a set of twins
    <Smackbilly> Yeah, they went down on a lot of people.

    <pussyfart> jesus h. christ..
    <mycheese> wtf does the h stand for
    <pussyfart> ...
    <pussyfart> henry

    <BUBBLES> Shit. I need a date for a new year's eve concert.
    <Nick> december 31st



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 23.06.2006, 23:44


    <FFChatter > est ce quelqu un sait comment on fait apparaitre le menu triche dans FFX??
    <Drago> Anyone speak French?
    <FFChatter > yes me

    <DarkSpork> rock
    <Mal> scissors
    <Mal> ...
    <Mal> DAMN!

    <special-k> woohoo sodomy law changed
    <`rush> FUCK YEAH

    <kdtree> i NEVER blow guys that smoke.
    <razzi> that could be a nice anti-smoking campaign

    <@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of humor in here
    <Skail> who's using it now?

    <Luthor> Dude, my school banned white t-shirts today :(
    <Luthor> they claimed it was a gang symbol, and that it promoted violence and conflict
    <Nasci> I'd rather just ban all the kids, no more violence, problem solved.

    <freemysoul> my bro's wife divorced him
    <freemysoul> he's got a kid and all, too
    <freemysoul> the kid decided to live with his mom
    <detranova> poor kid
    <atlantis> poor woman
    <naisesom> your bro's a lucky bastard

    <Fjoder> I hate when ppl say they gonna call and then they dont
    <Harvard> You sound like a girl.
    <Fjoder> I am a girl
    <Harvard> That explains it.

    * halocy goes for laundry like the good house-bitch she is
    [a few mins later]
    <halocy> my bf's socks are all kinda ... crunchy
    <halocy> wtf?
    <halocy> his feet must sweat a lot
    <rvrsl> haha
    <smashi> ew
    <smashi> hehe
    <smashi> are you sure it's
    <smashi> SWEAT!
    * smashi giggles
    <halocy> what else would it be?

    <TomskE`away> omg best thing ever
    <TomskE`away> if u get pulled over by like highway cops
    <TomskE`away> you go " i bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the highway cops ball"
    <TomskE`away> so they go
    <TomskE`away> "highway cops dont have balls"

    <Elly_May> i'm so sick of fucking my father
    <Shitshe> you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father
    <Elly_May> whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of shit

    <`Grimm`> you know whats the darndest thing is? its when you mom calls you a son of a bitch, im like, wait a minute, who's the bitch?

    <fubar> We have a town called "Gay Head, MA"
    <fubar> There's a town in Wisconsin named Spread Eagle
    <fubar> There's a town in South Carolina named Sugar Tit
    <Jagfire> I like gay head better
    <fubar> I'm sure you do

    <SKS_Lover> some people call me the space cowboy
    <SKS_Lover> yeaaaah
    <SKS_Lover> some people call me the gangster of looove
    <SKS_Lover> SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAUUUURICE
    <Moe_Rahn> Some people want to hit you with a brick.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 24.06.2006, 23:45


    uiu BitchX: Join to #discotheque was synched in 2.229 secs!!
    <digdug> why so few people? :/
    <bocz> i wuz hungry

    <fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN

    <+skrath> I don't think I'm better than others, it just so happens that so far, statistically, I am

    ·[steev]· i used to date this chick, she used to strip naked and rub up and down against me to get me off the computer, it was like, damn it, im busy

    Casalyn88: now i feel branded like i can't go out and have other boys now because theyll see it and think i get around a lot
    Tovarich89: ummm, casie.....
    Tovarich89:
    Casalyn88: ok i mean then they'll KNOW i get around a lot
    Tovarich89: better

    - (JustHalf) #boards != warez?
    - (kairo) try #boardz
    - (kairo) if it ends in 'z' , its gotta be illegal

    <linux> "So... my girlfriend told me she thought i was a pedophile the other day."
    <linux> "so i says to her, that's an awfully big word coming from a 12 year old."
    <DGF> LOL

    <gerrard> siiiiigh
    <gerrard> nothing like sitting around in your boxers at 4 am
    <gerrard> mouse in one hand
    <gerrard> can of mountain dew in the other
    <}Phoenix{> dick in your mouth
    <gerrard> ya..
    <gerrard> hey wait

    <8trac> Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen through a sniper scope?

    <thep0et> working sucks, i stay home all day
    <thep0et> i might as well be black

    <LunchPailTree> the moral of this story is: if you have no morals, go get yourself a 12 year old friend so you can fuck her after you drug her

    * bitch has joined #lobby
    <bitch> hey
    <son_of_evil> hi *****
    <Nehaal> hi *****
    <Falkner|AWAY> hi *****

    [+clown] Bytebandit what about .mk?
    [@Bytebandit] [19:07:07] mk = Macedonia
    [+clown] if .mk is macedonia, what the hell is mexico then?
    [@toca] .mx
    <@Avalanche> .dirty



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 03.07.2006, 20:16


    <Anton> for a guess you had a shit day at work as usual?
    <Alexander> just boring
    <Anton> ever actually had a good day at work?
    <Alexander> well ok boring and shit

    <kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
    <kat-moffobsessing> SONGS!

    <Sparky^> fucking perverts on Direcct Connect
    <Sparky^> downloading all my porn

    <Robertuybrush> HELLOW, I'M ROBERTUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD!
    <Robertuybrush> I JUST WANT TO BE A PIRATE
    <FortKeeper> To become a pirate, turn off CAPS-LOCK

    (@Thwark): if masturbating improved Bastes dicke dicke Brüste growth, not only would we all *know*, but it would have entire library wings dedicated to the study.

    <tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
    <Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
    <tbone22> he's hetero
    <tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)

    <ShenLong45> anyone know where to get a texture map of the planet earth, neptune and uranus?
    <mikesch> heh, texture map of uranus...
    * mikesch dies.

    <precid> hardcore doggystyle on tv
    <precid> brb
    <antiuser> o_O
    <antiuser> PRECID IS WANKING!
    <precid> wow those nips are like an inch long
    <antiuser> spare us from your one handed typing mate

    <KeeperZ> I want to make one of those 'scare the crap out of you' flash movies
    <KeeperZ> but have the 'horrific face'
    <KeeperZ> be the goatse.cx guy

    <@newt0r> thank god, im atheist

    <Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
    <StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.

    <Reaver_Reload> This reminds me of a time back in college, where one of my friends who was really dumb, she was crying one day and i asked her what was wrong. Turns out she broke up with her boyfriend, but she wouldnt say why.
    <Reaver_Reload> I convinced her to tell me, and apparently she was talking with her other two friends about their boyfriends. one friend was complaining how cold her boyfriends nuts were when she was giving him head, and the other one agreed that her boyfriend's were really cold as well. (their boyfriends names are richard and thomas btw)
    <Reaver_Reload> So she says she has never given head and the other two encourage her to do it, saying its a 'great way to keep a guy'
    <Reaver_Reload> Just two days later apparently she ran crying to her friends and they asked her what was wrong, and she said "I tried giving him a blow job, he was enjoying it at first but then he just got up and left and said we were over before i had even finished!"
    <Reaver_Reload> concerned, her two friends asked her what was wrong.. turns out she said "Wow, your balls are really warm.." and he asked "why? is that bad?" and she goes "oh no its just that richards and thomases' balls are really cold"

    <alan> if you were a credit card, you'd be a visa, since you're everywhere i want to be.
    <sp4nk> You'd be American Express. No one accepts you.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 14.07.2006, 11:00


    <RaMTuFF> i like my women like i like my coffee
    <RaMTuFF> quiet !

    marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease them and get a new one next year

    <noskill> I was banned from my junior highs network for having every printer in the school print 5000 pages of "FEED ME PAPER!" simultaneously

    <Zorix> this room... heh.. its so immature
    <ichibod> fuck off dicklicker
    <Zorix> bite me fucktard

    <@Shadowbuilder> haha have you ever seen that commercial
    <@Shadowbuilder> theres kid talking on a chat room
    <@NwG|Canucks> no explain
    <@Shadowbuilder> hes cybering with some girl, and he says "moan, moan for me as load as possible"
    <@Shadowbuilder> then you hear thing sound come from the corner of his house, soudns like moaning
    <@Shadowbuilder> and the kid says "mom?????"
    <@NwG|Canucks> lol

    <NyseriA> Things I've learned about war from videogames: If you find yourself mortally wounded by an enemy sniper be sure to let him know that he is a faggot.

    <Warped> anyone know a _good_weap for a monk? the kama doesn't seem that good...
    <Spiffeh> fists
    <Spiffeh> gah now monks remind me of lesbians

    <dj_goddess> Hey Nyph, how'd the exams go?
    <Nyphur> What exams?....
    <Nyphur> Oh, THOSE exams. ;)
    <Nyphur> FUCK... Those exams....

    <daenonon^II> lol
    <daenonon^II> i got pr0n downloading on limewire when this pop up ad comes up
    <daenonon^II> about some kind of pyramid scam
    <daenonon^II> and somehow the search results window of limewire didn't get covered by the testimonials of the pop up
    <daenonon^II> "as a single mom, i like how hardcore fucking gets xtreme!!"

    * Inferno has joined #Depressed
    <Inferno> fuck i hate thos faggots, all walkin down the street together
    <Inferno> and holdin hands an shit
    <Inferno> its fucken sick
    <Inferno> fuck what i wouldnt give for some head right now
    <Inferno> i wonder if my flatmate will oblige :)
    <nerfBoy> is she hot?
    <Inferno> he and yeah he is alright
    <Iverson> WTF?! i thought you were homophobic
    <Inferno> whats that?
    <Iverson> you hate gays..
    <Inferno> yeah i do..
    <Iverson> you want ur MALE flatmate to give you head..
    <Inferno> yeah and? fags only do anal..
    <Iverson> im not touching your issues with a 40 foot pole.

    <Brass> Yaku: It was hacked... by aliens!
    <Brass> *gasp* They're invading the channel now!
    <Yaku> are they the dick sucking kinda aliens?
    <Yaku> or the brain eating ones?
    <Brass> Yaku: Either way, I don't think you have anything to fear.

    DoUBle ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in school tomorrow
    rcknouttonight: why
    DoUBle ChiN 47: i have tic tacs

    <Caspian777> Once I get my picture on the net, you'll see. :P
    <Suvorov> ooh can i have your picture?
    <Suvorov> no baby ones though - i can't masturbate to those

    <TCbot> Q: Dictionary Definitions: Overly dramatic?
    <altariel> female

    <Nalah> My mother marks the English national exams. She was marking one creative writing paper today, and she got to the bottom of the page of one that read "the doctor knelt down beside her and raped her" - she turned the page and it finished "leg in a bandage". Hehe.

    * Josh` is listening to : In Flames - Vacuum.mp3
    <NoEvidenZ> that song sucks.

    <jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it on my keyboard
    <jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my cruel master and free me from this prison
    <jackal-> omg
    <jackal-> bad cat



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 02.08.2006, 22:19


    <Splortch> i should diet
    <Komando> chop off the t and just die

    *** Signoff: meredith- (Random number generation is too important to be left to chance)

    <DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.

    <HankMcCoy> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.

    <Makaveli> let's change girlfriend to boyfriend
    <Makaveli> then the statement is true
    * SoulVoid whispers to Paralysis: Mak loves the cock
    <Makaveli> wtf
    * Paralysis nods sagely
    <Paralysis> mak, I have a proposition for you
    <Makaveli> fuck you both
    <Paralysis> oh, in that case, you already answered!
    * Paralysis is away (mak :D).

    <^DSKY^[atWork]> could some like ultra-1337 person like hack the computer the universe runs on and change the program so that I have a girlfriend?
    <tef-cruise> dsky: i tried and it segfaulted.
    <tef-cruise> i accidentally deleted the country of bunitsland
    <tef-cruise> but i dont think anyone will notice

    <qurve> She's all like "We're in a relationship, you can't go around having sex with people"
    <qurve> Then we get into this huge debate about what defines 'people'

    <trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine right ?
    <jbean> yeah
    <trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
    <trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and went to a friends
    <trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
    <jbean> and then
    <trekkie47> i dunno
    <trekkie47> he told me to leave
    <jbean> hahahaha

    <Drak`> if i killed myself over a bitch, i would commit suicide

    <Gryphon> (that's what I thought, but she has good lines, e.g: "You always said you'd die for me, but I noticed you never have!")
    <Paradox> tell her you are saving that one for your 50th anversary ^^

    <RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
    <RushMore> guess what he said
    <RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"

    <mindcrime> i er
    <mindcrime> hung up with the pizza dude
    <mindcrime> and i were like going to say "ah, lovely, thanks"
    <mindcrime> and i er
    <mindcrime> managed to say "I love you"
    <mindcrime> he must think im a complete freak

    <I_kick_fish> a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his fly the bartender asks "do you know a steering wheel is coming out of your fly?" the pirate says "yes and its driving me nuts!"

    <cast> see, the roof falling on me is the least of my problems here, the whole building going from |^| to /^/ to ___ is my problem

    <rhc> apparently it's rude if
    <rhc> somebody asks if you have a light
    <rhc> and you reply: "yes, but it's at the end of the tunnel"

    <cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
    <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
    <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
    <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
    <emoti_conartist> lol
    <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
    <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
    <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
    <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
    <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
    <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
    <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
    <cassius_clay13> and runs away
    <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

    jaylane0910: oh gross
    e l i t e m r p: ?
    jaylane0910: my cmoputer science teacher corrupted the word g-string for me
    e l i t e m r p: heh
    jaylane0910: she said she was writing her own string lib
    jaylane0910: her name is Gioviana or something
    jaylane0910: and she caled it GString
    jaylane0910: and shes ugly
    jaylane0910: and damn

    (^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than me
    (snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/

    <Leo-chan> I have a large warehouse full of large weapons of mass destruction
    <webrunner> Destroying mass is against the laws of thermodynamics!
    <Leo-chan> screw the laws of thermodynamics!
    * Leo-chan pulls out a perpetual motion machine
    * webrunner stops the machine
    * webrunner holds out a "Thermodynamics Police" badge

    <Mephistol> irn
    <Mephistol> burn in hell
    <Mephistol> i went to http://legionofgimps.apt103.net/images/
    <Mephistol> and my mom came in
    <Mephistol> and it had 'GAY PORN GAY PORN' etc all over the screen
    <Mephistol> its not a problem, if your parents dont think you're gay
    <Mephistol> my parents think i'm gay
    <Mephistol> and i imagine this didn't help
    <irn> ahahah

    <weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it and blue when you right click it
    <weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
    <sponge> thats sad
    <weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write and debug

    <Kitsa> in retrospect, redheads shouldn't wear catholic-school uniforms to places where there are going to be a lot of drunk men

    <CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
    <CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
    <CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for that day
    <CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with it, praise can be hard to come by
    <CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
    <CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?! This is a guy!!
    <CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll never know >__<

    <stealth_> my brother downloaded cm4 from kazaa
    <stealth_> and... it went pretty well for him
    <stealth_> he had been playing for about 1½ hours
    <stealth_> then this message pops up.
    <stealth_> "had fun? well fu you and go buy the game you warez haxx0r"
    <stealth_> then the game crashed :)

    xstar: i saw a license plate that said :
    "MAC USR"
    xstar: i wanted to hit him
    xstar: hard
    xstar: in the face
    xstar: with a bat

    <ShatnersBassoon>Ouch. Just been to the toilet for a poo, and I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy. Suffice it to say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
    <Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
    <Kenny>"than"
    <Kenny>fuck

    <Timid-> MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
    * Shockla has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
    * rooties-w has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
    * Mr_Hahn has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
    * rup\tek has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
    <wandarah> holy shit.
    <wandarah> truly your meep is a powerful weapon.

    <cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT:
    <cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad
    <cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables
    <cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert
    <cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
    <cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
    <cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
    <cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
    <cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket
    <cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy
    <cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident
    <cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
    <cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real
    <cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l Timmy?
    <cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
    <cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

    <zamros> haha yeah being a plumber would be fucking awesome actually
    <zamros> like if i had my own fuckin' company
    <zamros> with a van and shit
    <zamros> like i'd go in to a plumbing business with a friend
    <zamros> cuz like when you got two motherfuckers putting the time and money in
    <zamros> you can buy a van
    <zamros> you can buy fuckin tools
    <zamros> you can buy advertising and shit
    <zamros> haha i'd have the funniest fucking public access commercials for my plumbing business
    <zamros> like some dude would be taking a shit
    <zamros> and he'd jiggle the handle
    <zamros> and he'd be like ".....FUCK!"
    <zamros> then he falls over on the toilet and grabs the phone
    <zamros> and calls me
    <zamros> and he's like "HELLPP!!!"
    <zamros> then i bust through the fucking wall
    <zamros> and fucking beat the shit out of a big monster in the toilet1
    <zamros> with a plunger
    <zamros> and the dude is laying in his own shit on the floor
    <zamros> with the phone in his hand
    <zamros> and after i won the fight he'd be like "THANK YOU ZAMROS INC"
    <zamros> and he'd hug me and i'd get shit all over me
    <zamros> and i'd be like "ALL IN A DAY'S WORK"
    <zamros> and then bust through the other wall

    Walbanger: i got the greatest pick-up line ever
    Walbanger: But i cant tell you because you're a girl
    nekofairy: ...
    nekofairy: Harvey, are you gay?

    <Vitor> When exactly did we stop talking about my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste?
    <Gummi_Bear> We've moved on to bigger and better things.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 08.08.2006, 15:15


    [02:46am] [+oc] earlier when my video card wasnt working i started crying seriously

    <c-rOCK> check this out
    <c-rOCK> some guy is a fucking retard

    <MyTh`snoogans> mY¯mom¯stole¯mY¯keYboard¯So¯im¯using¯chaRmap¯to¯type¯this
    <MyTh`snoogans> god¯This¯sucks
    <Unknown[SwHo]> charmap ?
    <Unknown[SwHo]> like a palm-pilot ?
    <MyTh`snoogans> yoU¯pRes¯The¯bUTTons¯wiTh¯the¯moUse
    <MyTh`snoogans> iT¯TAkes¯foReveR
    * * * * * * * *
    * MyTh`snoogans has joined #clan-swho
    <MyTh`snoogans> did my mom think i couldnt find the keyboard in the living room
    <MyTh`snoogans> wtf was she thinking

    *** f0r-1- has joined #photoshop
    <f0r-1-> hi
    <djahmar> hi
    <f0r-1-> How it hanging?
    <f0r-1-> :D
    <Anapaest> from here to iowa
    <f0r-1-> WHEEE! so, where are you from?
    <Anapaest> iowa :(

    <@brush> i'm not racist i donwnload black porn too

    @demalavor: more proof my brother is gay, he is eating popcorn out of a bowl with a spoon

    <Fusion> My cat tried to eat a praying mantis. I told him it was a bad idea.
    <Mitsugi> what was his response?
    <Fusion> Uh... "meow"
    <Mitsugi> figures
    <Fusion> Yeah. What a bitch.

    <caca_lialia> my brother was wanking in front of computer.
    <devil> how do you know?:)
    <caca_lialia> the mouse is on the left side...

    <poit[fsgc> !decide "slack off and lie about the reason" "do the work and have a clean moral slate"
    <CrockPot> The roll of the dice picks: slack off and lie about the reason.
    <poit[fsgc> Good bot
    * poit[fsgc goes to sleep

    <jsCLASS> lets talk about my johnson
    <Mercster> small talk, eh?
    <jsCLASS> fuck
    <jsCLASS> owned



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 21.08.2006, 21:10


    <ScottO> How was your interview, meta?
    <nietmeta> it's on monday
    <nietmeta> i gotta wait!
    <ScottO> How will it be, then?
    <nietmeta> it will be awsome
    <ScottO> Congrats, then.

    <mikes_> what does this mean? eth0: Promiscuous mode enabled.
    <`> it means your ethernet card wants to party

    <cHiiZukAMi> lol, my gf knows how to play mario, thats so sexy
    <cHiiZukAMi> i let her borrow my gameboy for band and she did all these secret areas i forgot about
    <cHiiZukAMi> who cares if a girl cant do your laundry or stuff if she can get you to the donut secret ghost house?

    <Bug^> is it the fken law u cant sell piss on good friday?
    <Numloxx> Bug^ no, but jesus will cry if u do
    <Bug^> fuck jesus
    <Bug^> i'll nail that cunt to a stake if he complains
    <Numloxx> that'll make him cry too
    <Bug^> thats his problem
    <BenZor> lol

    <GodsJiva> cloning should be allowed!
    <f0dder> cloning is bad
    <f0dder> cause there's too many errors
    <GodsJiva> but... if they dont practise, there will always be errors!
    <f0dder> just stick to animals at least
    <GodsJiva> yeah, to start with
    <Koding_W> aye. stick to animals.
    <Koding_W> thats my motto.

    <bob_hobo_killer> It's 10:00 do you know where your children are?
    <meiv4> in a handful of tissues in my trashcan

    (InkBlot) From CNN: Rumsfield: Turkey plans will go ahead.
    (InkBlot) good to see Thanksgiving won't be canceled this year.

    <paRaLyX> what's long, hard and fucked two girls from my science class last week?
    <Slax0r> omg...
    <qwog> you didn't!
    <paRaLyX> the mid-term physics exam :(

    slackerdann: hahahaha
    slackerdann: my sister is so dumb
    slackerdann: she got pissed off at me
    slackerdann: then came over and pulled out the power cable for the laptop
    slackerdann: and i was just like "it has a battery you know"
    slackerdann: and then she was just like "oh"

    VerusMaya: my business card :-P
    VerusMaya: I have 75 or so business cards printed
    VerusMaya: 50 going out with flyers around neighborhood
    PooMaster451: gheeey
    VerusMaya: pssh
    PooMaster451: you should sell lemonade too
    VerusMaya: haha
    PooMaster451: 25 cents a glass
    PooMaster451: on the street corner
    PooMaster451: like THE WHORE YOU ARE
    VerusMaya: o_O

    <Cedlind> god damn its snowing outside..
    <Amnesia> no it's not
    <Cedlind> soo.. all this white stuff I got all over me is?
    <Cedlind> crap.. shouldn't have said that..



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 22.08.2006, 10:28


    <wild> whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
    <wild> it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus

    <ToastyGhost> Yo.
    * Brentai joyously rapes ToastyGhost.
    * ToastyGhost enjoys it also.
    <Defcon> Toasty you fuck.
    <ToastyGhost> No, Brentai did. I just stood there.

    <skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill everyone
    <pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
    <pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!

    <V|-Nicotine> cog, i think u should go and be eaten in third world countries :P

    <BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
    <BloodNose> to spend a night ...
    <Blender13> woah
    <BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
    <cryptonix> his aunts
    <BloodNose> lol
    <Blender13> lol
    <BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
    <Blender13> obviously his aunt
    <cryptonix> great aunt
    <Blender13> ah
    <BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job
    <cryptonix> hot great aunt
    <Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
    <BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still

    <Pandemonium> Those popups could poke someone's eye out.

    <The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
    <Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
    <Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
    <Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"

    <@nik0li> SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- A woman in Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a manner others may not be able to stomach -- an all-semen diet.
    <@nik0li> Starting December 1, a plump porn star named Kim Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30 days on a diet consisting largely of semen -- or as she prefers, "man juice."
    <@prence_> shit, ill eat my own man-juice if it will help me lose 30 pounds!

    <@DarkHoly> you live in canadian future, that's like, wright brothers just invented airplane
    <Tdot> airplane?
    <Tdot> O_o
    <@DarkHoly> see?



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 29.08.2006, 11:38


    <Devo-> The Buddhist hamburger joint: they'l make you one with everything.

    <Temujin> Holy shit.
    <Temujin> 300k/s from an fserve
    <SuperScott> Temujin what connection do you have
    <Temujin> Cable
    <Rawlings> no more "Will suck dick for bandwidth" signs on the interstate, huh tem
    <Alice`> Now it's just "Will suck dick"

    ‹doc-› H/P/V/A/C . 34o megs . FiDo
    ‹vect0r› hp vac?? HEWLETT PACKARD MAKES A VACUUM!?
    ‹vect0r› I MUST GET!
    ‹vect0r› does it suck as much as their computers do?
    <vect0r› because that would be a kick ass vacuum

    *** Alluro95-School (d@station.sdccd.cc.ca.us) Quit (Quit: typos sick)
    *** Alluro95-School (d@station.sdccd.cc.ca.us) has joined #vgmusic
    <Alluro95-School> I mean
    *** Alluro95-School (d@station.sdccd.cc.ca.us) Quit (Quit: typos suck)

    <Apocolypse> you know, id be into this stuff if i was about 15 years younger.... im 13

    <NuttO> You are promoted.
    <MechaMrEd> To?
    <NuttO> I don't know. What's Geno's title?
    <MechaMrEd> Animefag
    <NuttO> Okay, that's your job now. Geno is demoted to Fag.
    <MechaMrEd> Oh boy oh boy hey anyone been watching the lastest digisubs of NEKO NEKO FAG 2112??!?!/ NO???????
    <MechaMrEd> It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO kawaii ^^
    <MechaMrEd> OKAY DUDES I'LL GUESS I'LL GO WATCH SOME ANIME!!!!!!!!11111
    <MechaMrEd> How am I doing NuttO
    <NuttO> You're doing fine.
    <Geno> I'm not even like that. :/
    <MechaMrEd> That's why you were demoted, you useless BAKA GAIJIN FAGGOT
    * Geno is listening to: Excel Saga - Ai Sincere Heart
    <MechaMrEd> Man you're supposed to just be a fag now, can't you go five minutes without MESSING UP THE ENTIRE SETUP

    <Vamp_Boy> Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.

    <evilive> I've got the crime of the century
    <evilive> we'll say we're offering free chicken as a promotion, right?
    <evilive> then when the niggers show up we'll shoot them and take their gold teeth.

    * Curt stabs Stinger in the face with a generic object
    <Curt> whee.
    <The_Stinger> hey why do you find it neccesary to stab me in the face with a generic object
    <The_Stinger> o_O
    <Curt> because I didn't have a specific object at hand.

    <LexMortis> have i told you about a dream i had?
    <LexMortis> a lion attacked me
    <LexMortis> and bit off my finger
    <LexMortis> after the fight n all was over
    <LexMortis> i looked at my hands
    <LexMortis> and went like "great, now i can only count to 9"
    <LexMortis> even my unconsciousness is retarded

    <aoe2junkie> i wonder what my dog tries to say to me when he barks
    <Karath-Din> "stop touching me there"



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 03.10.2006, 17:36


    ››› ( ¤ ) Topic Change: prence sets topic to <Male Camwhore Act>I will now send you a cum filled tube sock if you buy something off my wishlist, thanks!</Male Camwhore Act>

    * @Pretsel wants a little robot which will clean floors and vacumn rooms :/
    <Mad-Cow> You can get them
    <@Pretsel> Yeah but I'd imagine they'd be expensive :D
    <Mad-Cow> It'll cost you a few million but you can get em
    <@Pretsel> Woah Woah... I don't want a wife...

    <usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."

    <Ixnorp> saber has a job?
    <Zanok> yeah
    <ducks> YES I HAVE HAD THIS JOB FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS NOW
    <Zanok> he manually masturbates animals for artificial insemination

    <Rhyos> Anyone wanna hear a bad geology joke?
    <Midknight> go on, humor us
    <Rhyos> Ok. A bit of background.
    <Rhyos> Everyone know what halite is?
    <Midknight> if it fails then you will have to be killed a most imaginative and horrible way :)
    <Rhyos> It's just a big block of salt.
    <Rhyos> *not the joke*
    <Rhyos> Anyways, basalt is the stuff that's on the ocean floor.
    <Rhyos> So... what do geologists call the stuff on the ocean floor?
    <LordJD> fish shit
    <Rhyos> Sheep halite. *it was on a test* Fish shit is probably even funnier.

    <Grimp> haha
    <Grimp> I evolved into a monkey

    <Shun2> woot
    <Shun2> I found the last GTA3 hidden package
    <slm> wow, welcome to two years ago
    <The359> lol
    <slm> Are you gonna beat bowser next?
    <Shun2> dude
    <Shun2> he's tough

    <alpha0> dude i shoot smack every day
    <alpha0> i am so far from being a drug wuss
    <mEta> shooting smakc is for gays
    <alpha0> well
    <alpha0> considering im now gay
    <alpha0> i guess it isnt
    <alpha0> not
    <alpha0> *
    <alpha0> fuck
    <alpha0> :(

    <Sabdo> So I went into my school's band room for the first time today
    <Sabdo> Biggest bunch of nerds I've ever met.
    <Sabdo> and this one girl walks in, really hot,
    <Sabdo> and I swear to fucking god,
    <Sabdo> three kids pulled out inhalers

    * kipton is listening to cute gay boy jacking of in his underwear :: 13s
    <sprite>...
    <kipton> the description is misleading

    <Sheena> me = ho
    <Sheena> t
    <Sheena> OMg...worse typo ever

    <y0da> if they took the porn of the internet there would only be one website left and that would be www.bringbackbacktheporn.com

    <Zach> Is your Dad home?
    <videogameaholic> yep
    <Zach> You get any hot chicks on the internet yet?
    <videogameaholic> wtf? There aren't any chicks on the internet.
    <Zach> You gotta do what I do. I get onto one of them lesbian chatrooms and pretend to be a 19 year old girl.
    <videogameaholic> I bet the other 60 "horny lesbians" in that room think they are just as clever as you.
    <Zach> no no no, they're really women, they send me naked pictures
    <videogameaholic> What do you do when they ask for yours?
    <Zach> I send them a pic of a 19 year old girl.
    <videogameaholic> ...
    <Zach> No seriously, they're all lesbians.
    <videogameaholic> If you say so...
    <Zach> damn straight.
    <videogameaholic> I'm sure you are.

    <mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.

    <smcn> one of these days
    <smcn> i'm going to hunt down and kill whoever invented emoticons
    <smcn> then i'm going to look at him and go >=D

    <CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
    <CoN> oh thanks
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
    <CoN> ... thats weird
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
    <[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
    *** CoN has quit IRC

    <Farnarcle> I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.

    <Darth-Phenom> But the SNES was only good for its games, much like the PSX
    <Pedgey> Well what else you gonna use it for? Making toast?!!?!

    <@Amitlu> errr
    <@Amitlu> i mean do
    <SpeedyPhoenix> do who?
    <SpeedyPhoenix> >.>
    <@Amitlu> -_-
    * @Amitlu gives Speedy a black guy
    <@Amitlu> eye*
    <@Amitlu> If you quote me, I'll kill you >.<

    <djdan> You are a really weird d00d.
    <djdan> hm.
    <djdan> d00d upside-down is p00p.

    <Red_Sky> It must have been a slow newsday. The headline for today's paper is 'Suicide Bomber Killed'.

    <dm0n3y> ----------------fags type below this line----------------------
    <Vondi> Aiee
    <dm0n3y> GG VONDI
    <dm0n3y> wait, shit

    <Gohanmastaflex> www.imac.com - "LOOLLOLOL I GOT A PC BTU I CNT FIGUR IT OWT IT WEN ALL LIKE "BEEEEEEP' AND NO WI GOT A MAC AND ITS LIKE 'BEEP' BUT IN TEH GOOD WAY SO YAH ITS PRETY."
    <Gohanmastaflex> Macintosh computer are easy to use. It's also easy to stick your hand in a wood chipper.

    <DarkOne> This nightvision effect simply looks as if someone replaced your monitor with a bowl of lime sherbert.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 06.10.2006, 15:13


    [09:50] <Xerox> Hey, anyone who knows Japanese, what does "kikurimu" mean?
    [09:52] <Squizzle> "I am a preteen with bouncing breasts."
    [09:53] <Zonkto> There are probably three or four words for that.
    [09:53] <Zonkto> Sort of like the Eskimos having so many words for snow.

    <Da_Masta> I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...
    <Da_Masta> Join the Ku Klux Klan today!

    * Now talking in #crimehackerz
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    <snoldak> im so lonely

    <sheep--> haha
    <sheep--> my mom got this knife at some asian store
    <sheep--> i was gonna use it to make myself some food
    <sheep--> but instead, i\'m gonna frame it and keep it for ever in the wrapper
    <Tick> ?
    <sheep--> it says on it \"Warning: keep out of children\"
    <Tick> lol

    <@Bojangle> My mom tells me I need to get laid

    <Brando`> NEXT THING YA KNOW SHE WAS LIKE FUCK OFF AND LEFT
    <Brando`> HAHA SO I CALLED HER SHE WAS LIKE WHAT TOOK SO LONG
    <Brando`> AND I SAID I COULDNT FIND A SAVE POINT
    <Brando`> NOW IM SINGLE



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 30.11.2006, 22:42


    <gaspump> It takes more than tits to impress me.
    <gaspump> Lord knows everyone in here should already know that.
    <Richard_D_James> It's hard to masturbate to intelligence, though.

    <kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
    <kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure
    <FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her?
    <kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl
    <kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed
    <mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
    <kung_fu_mike> from behind is right

    <mantid> outlander, it's a simple analog controller
    <warptail> like my wang.

    <Surtur> so.. i saw david bowie two nights ago...
    <Surtur> t'was good.
    <|Wolf|> in concert?
    <Surtur> oh yeah.
    <|Wolf|> disregard what i just asked
    <Surtur> no just walked into my bathroom and there he was, in the tub!
    <AlumaSqrl> hahaha
    <AlumaSqrl> floating face down

    <Shirley> it was my girlfriends birthday, and i stayed at her place, and i put fudge in the toilet early in the morning, so when we woke up, i went to the toilet and she was getting ready to get in the shower
    <Shirley> and when she looked at me, i reached into the toilet and grabbed a handful of what she thought was poop
    <Shirley> and threw it at her
    <Shirley> and screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!"

    <Ein-> ha, I bet my school is a million times worse
    <Pez666> Doubt it.
    <Pez666> Unless it's a community college.
    <Ein-> ever live with a 300lb man in a skirt?
    <Pez666> Man our "dorm" is a fucking hotel they cleaned out.
    <Pez666> and they just added it this semester.
    <Ein-> so I take that as a "no", you never put up with the sounds of a vibrator being shoved up the ass of a sweaty 300lb man in a skirt before.
    <Scarly> wtf
    <Scarly> Ew
    <Scarly> Ewwwww
    <Pez666> haha
    * RobertRence recoils in shock and horror.
    <Scarly> Ewwwwwwwwwww
    <RobertRence> Pleaaaase tell me you're lying.
    <RobertRence> And that you washed your hands afterwards.

    <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
    <@SJr> g g
    <@SJr> o / / o
    <@SJr> a| | | | a
    <@SJr> t| `. | | : t
    <@SJr> s` | | | | s
    <@SJr> e | / / \ --__ \ : e
    <@SJr> x / _--~~ ~--__| | x
    <@SJr> * _-~ ~-_ | *
    <@SJr> g _ _.--------.______| | g
    <@SJr> o ______// _ ___ _ (_(__> | o
    <@SJr> a . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
    <@SJr> t / | C ____)/ (_____> |_/ t
    <@SJr> s / /| C_____) | (___> / s
    <@SJr> e | ( _C_____)______/ // _/ / e
    <@SJr> x | |__ \_________// (__/ | x
    <@SJr> * | ____) `---- --' | *
    <@SJr> g | _ ___ /_ _/ | g
    <@SJr> o | / | | | o
    <@SJr> a | | / | a
    <@SJr> t | / / | | |t
    <@SJr> s | / / __/___/ | |s
    <@SJr> e | / / | | | |e
    <@SJr> x | | | | | |x
    <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *

    <@DudeGuy> i really like soymild
    <@DudeGuy> milk
    <@eponymous> New Soy Mild: For You Vegan Fuckers Too Pansy-Ass to Take Regular Soy (TM)

    <krulos> my bud had sex with his girl last night 4 times and in the morning she said,"He was the best she ever had."
    <krulos> i told him i had sex with my girl 6 time last night and this morning she said,"I was God!" lol. how many times did u get it on last night?
    <KavorkianKilled> once
    <krulos>hahaha, did she say anything to you this morning?
    <KavorkianKilled> yeah, don't stop.

    <Katsmall> :( My boyfriend is in the hospital and nobody knows what he has!
    <spknsp3ll> katsmall: what are you doing tonite?
    <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Griefing.
    <spknsp3ll> well if youd like some consoling, i could prolly squeeze an hour in or two
    <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Okay... Come on by. I'm very horny.
    * spknsp3ll scores
    <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Just note, that he got it right after me fucking him, and also that I'm a man.

    <chrisj> american kids are all "oh gee mom I didn't mean to take a tip of dads bud light while he wasn't looking. i'll never get drunk again, I swear"
    <chrisj> and australian kids are all
    <chrisj> "AHH CHEERS CUNTS, GIVE US A SQUIRT FROM YOUR GOON BAG, DAD... AHHH CHEERS CUNT"

    <@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
    <@Matt> 1.
    <@Matt> 2.
    <@Matt> 3.
    <@Matt> 4.
    <@Matt> 5.
    <@Matt> 6.
    <@Matt> 7.
    <@Matt> 8.
    <@Matt> 9.
    <@Matt> 10. Women have tits

    <Terror> So, on one of the last days of school we had an assembly in memorial of some guy that graduated from my school that was a gunner on a Humvee and was killed by shrapnel from a roadside bomb in Iraq
    <Terror> And when we go back to class, the teacher was asking us what we got out of the service
    <Terror> and one kid said "I learned not be the the gunner on a Humvee"

    <|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard

    <Snag> *beep*beep*
    <Steil> snag you set off the gaydar again didnt you???
    <Snag> funny
    <Snag> :|

    <FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
    <FM{FF1}> ...men.
    <FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

    *** Radz has quit IRC (Quit: Pure | Bitches | No, Fuck You)
    * KeeperS tries to make sense of Radz's quit message

    <jafo> one more drink and I'll be ready for gay sex

    <sheik> your mom
    <striderj> what
    <sheik> yeah thats why i sucked your moms dick last night
    <striderj> what, hahahahahahah
    <sheik> wait no thats not what i meant
    <striderj> sure

    <aurikan> i got a pre-broken AOL cd in the mail today
    <aurikan> how considerate of them
    <aurikan> they saved me the trouble of breaking it

    <Rossell1> weird thing happened last night
    <Rossell1> I had a dream where I was on IRC
    <Rossell1> and everybody kept saying potatoes
    <ASk> potatoes
    <Winquman> potatoes
    <Rossell1> :/
    <Phobius> Tomato

    <TheWizrd> i wrote my paper ... its 2 pages ..... min length = 5 pages
    <TheWizrd> wtf ?
    <nerdcore> add 3 pages of "um" and "er"
    <nerdcore> "And so we, um, see that, um, um, Shakespeare was trying to, er, say that, um..."
    <nerdcore> "And then that one guy--what's-his-name--picked up the, oh yeah! It was Laertes! He picked up the, um, that thing that you use when you want to stab somebody--a sword! Yeah. That's it."
    <nerdcore> easy +3 pages.

    <Onyxus>: Have you ever been pwned by a 4 year old? I have, and so has my son.
    <Onyxus>: 1.) I was riding in the car with my family and my daughter (as I have taught her) randomly said "I pwned a noob!" Being a proud father I reached back and said "Gimme five" to which she promptly responded "No you're the noob!"
    <Onyxus>: 2.) Just today me and the missus were sitting in the living room watching TV while the kids were on the porch playing in their tiny little swimming pool. My son ran up to the back door and was yelling something unintelligible at it, when my daughter ran up behind him and dumped a cup full of water over his head...multiple times. He ran off, most likely to cry in a corner somewhere, and she looked at me through the door and yelled "I pwned a noob Daddy!"
    <Onyxus>: Words can not describe the pride I feel in how I've brought up my daughter...

    Cope: we have been so bored at work we made a sport
    Cope: we call it condomball
    Cope: theres a used condom thrown in the ally and if the ball touches it the game is over forever



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 02.12.2006, 18:50


    <b1u3> we got this admin dance that never fails to eventually resurrect a crashed database server

    <gweebz0r> i went to the gf's work last week, they had no antivirus
    <gweebz0r> 279 viruses
    <gweebz0r> the best part was
    <gweebz0r> they showed me their backup strategy
    <gweebz0r> they use custom software
    <gweebz0r> and the backed up the application by dragging the desktop icon ( a shortcut) to their cdrw
    <gweebz0r> they had 2 years worth of shortcuts

    <Bemlet> he respects subtilty. you just have to use a lot of it at once.

    [Rictor] 1f j00 (4n 1234d 7|-|15, j00 n33d 70 937 |41d
    [ArchDemon] *sob* so true.

    <zilla1126> When I woke up this morning I had semen in my underwear.
    <nadervader22> ....
    <zilla1126> I'm concerned because it did not taste like mine.

    (cooey) my cat eats meat. my cat eats timbits. my cat eats celery. my cat eats my weed. my cat eats bits of paper and hair that look like food. my cat =wont= eat a piece of a burger out of a big mac.
    (cooey) i should learn from my cat.

    <Silversong> Anybody ever wonder what would happen if we were suddenly flung into a weird dimension and we were all physically in a room together?
    <Brentai> I'd have to pull my pants up real quick, most likely.

    <dave> i hit my dick on the sink the other day and it made a weird sound so i had to do it again
    <dave> (don't tell tj i said that)
    <dave> (we share a sink)

    <aNuBiS-> she humps me from behind sometimes tho
    <aNuBiS-> as a joke
    <aNuBiS-> when shes walking behind me
    <JayWhoa> she wants to be a man
    <JayWhoa> a gay man
    <pagan> its all fun and games untill soemone gets their anus poked out

    <MegaPucko> whats the street outside liverpool street station called?
    <MegaPucko> the big one =\
    <MegaPucko> wait
    <MegaPucko> nm
    <MegaPucko> im dumb
    <Goatman> No shit.

    <r-beretta> wow, rape porn pop-ups.
    <r-beretta> that's a first
    <[Knob]> ever got incest pop-ups?
    <r-beretta> yes, incest is common for me
    <r-beretta> IN THE POP-UPS I MEAN

    <jim_trim> How To Know If a girl likes you
    <jim_trim> ?
    <sarah> Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.

    <Ophiel> welcome to irc, where everybody is an expert on everything

    <B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home while I catch the last of the ball game"
    <B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.

    <Mr_p> so hows ur man love?
    <Mr_Bandit> its a pain in the arse

    <Olympus> Mikelo2k is gay
    * Mikelo2k pwnz
    <akcom> you pwn rosey palms
    <Olympus> hehee
    <akcom> she nevers talks back, and i hear she gives great hand jobs

    (MoLaUstEr) You know, there's something rewarding about harrassing people who message you out of the blue.
    (MoLaUstEr) That's why I'm gonna LOVE ICQ
    (MoLaUstEr) Whoa man....I'm gonna be the biggest dick, north of my belly button.

    <nitrifik_> black chicks scare me :|
    <Slant> nitrifik_: There are scary black chicks and then there are the amazing ones.
    <nitrifik_> Slant: yeah, I know, but how often do I actually see the amazing ones "IRL"?
    <nitrifik_> Never!
    <Slant> nitrifik_: I'm sorry, once again, where do you live? ;-)
    <nitrifik_> Slant: SWEDEN

    <OneEyedJack> Someone tell me why everyone lists one of their hobbies as either "hanging out" or "partying"?
    <Qtechie> I like to hang out while I party... but chicks are always grossed out by it, and guys tend to beat me up for it

    <Syclopse> my god you again
    <gesus> dislexia?
    <gesus> i'm sure you meant to say "you my god again"

    [@KiD_Zer0] i have to write about an incident in my life I can describe as a natural disaster
    [Sub-Zer0] your birth

    <sadsfae> why get married? just buy some woman you hate a house

    Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].)

    <T-Dragonus> Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!"
    <T-Dragonus> Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now."

    <evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
    <mcm310>: what is it?
    <evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
    <evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
    <evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
    <evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
    <evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
    <evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
    <evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
    <evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
    <mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

    <M3atwad> my dad's been actin really weird lately
    <M3atwad> he comes up behind my while im doin homework and gives me back rubs
    <M3atwad> i don't know if it's sexual harrassment
    <M3atwad> or if he's happy im doin my homework so that he doesnt get arrested for me dropping out of school
    <M3atwad> ...
    <Kylie> your dads a perv
    <magik8> ur dads a perv
    <op_01001> your dad's a perv
    <dysc404> your droppin out?

    Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that would get really mad, if she heard me say that.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 02.01.2007, 02:18


    <Nigel> How many babies does it take to paint a house?
    <Nigel> Trick question. It really depends on how hard you throw them.

    After fatal school shooting in Littleton Colorado, 4/20/99
    [18:38] <THE_RAY> Any people from the school in here?
    [18:39] <scitz0> oh yah i got home from the shooting and "logged on" you idiot
    [18:39] <PunCHie> i got shot in the head 4 times.. but i'm okay..

    <TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this none of these disabled people could catch me"

    * @andy blows his load.
    * Khross eats a child.
    <@andy> we all react differently to surprise gifts.

    <CptPlanet> man. i just called my finger a faggot for having a splinter in it.
    <CptPlanet> i need to get some friends, stat.

    <Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in DC and it isnt good news for CS players
    <Whisper> want to hear it?
    <CJ> Sure
    <Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking...

    <Tyger>there's something i dont understand...
    <Tyger>why is it that some people are just plain stupid...?
    <Tyger>i mean... i hate stupid people!
    <Tetley>yeah, its a shame women try and play a role other than sex and dishwasher in the world

    <Taiken> I had this dream once...
    <Taiken> Where my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste grew teeth and attacked me.
    <woosh> dude
    <woosh> Your Bastes dicke dicke Brüste is cool.
    <woosh> I want Taiken's Bastes dicke dicke Brüste
    <Kyle> ..
    <woosh> That sounded so wrong.
    <Kyle> Yeah.

    <GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
    <GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
    <peasant> i call dibs on triangle



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 22.01.2007, 22:59


    <iggypop> licking my own sweaty balls > quicktime

    <Moonpie> Dude
    <Moonpie> Don't ever put deodorant on your crotch and try to lick it off.
    <Moose[DWI]> ...
    <Moose[DWI]> OK THEN

    /* After a long long idle pause */
    <c4_faker> ...silence is a form of consent...
    <zeedo> so you can rape a mute woman legally?
    <zeedo> nice
    <c4_faker> hahahhahaa
    <c4_faker> whats she gunna do...scream in sign language?
    <c4_faker> :P
    <zeedo> yeh, they call it "punching"

    <khanjackalmoreau> i knew a kid who dressed up as a goth leprechaun for halloween
    <khanjackalmoreau> all black outfit, with a grayscale rainbow, and a pot full of cure albums

    <spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on crank.
    <spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
    <r> jewish nigger

    <Salec> how would you go by changing the look of a checkbox in flash?
    <SHiZNiT> add a moustache

    <@Lerou> Lag makes baby Jesus cry.
    <@TempusRob> pssh
    <@TempusRob> talk about lag
    <@TempusRob> it took him 3 days to respawn

    <tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
    <tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
    <tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
    <tydel> kind of a conversation ender

    <mogo-> my middle school got a blue ribbon for acheivement...
    <natural> my school got a rainbow ribbon for homosexuality

    <arenotelicon> and jason picked it up. "hello? *pause* yeah, she's right here. *glances at me* thirty-four C." me: "thirty-six." jason: "thirty-six c. yeah. bye."

    * altair is leaving to go out into the big blue room
    <altair> thi big BRIGHT blue room...
    <g-o-d> you mean outside?
    <altair> g-o-d: yes
    <altair> with the yellow Daystar
    <g-o-d> and the green and sometimes black carpet
    <altair> yeah...
    <g-o-d> cool

    [08:40] <GreenNight> voodoo mmm
    [08:41] * GreenNight is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly inflates larger and larger

    (FakeBoobies): any one wanna to chat to a guy pretending to be a chick with a pic of some model off the internet, msg me

    «+ GearSlayr » and my cat shits on the floor now too cause she's getting old
    «+ GearSlayr » if its not near a litter box it just shits. it did it on the stairs once and i slipped on it and almost broke my neck
    «+ GearSlayr » i'd love to kill that cat myself.
    «+ GearSlayr » fuck it, it'll have depends on or something
    «+ GearSlayr » thats what i'll do
    «+ GearSlayr » i'll tie a diaper to my cats ass
    «+ GearSlayr » or a bag or something
    «+ GearSlayr » can you picture that?
    «+ GearSlayr » that would be the most pathetic thing ever
    «+ NathanRomulus » your cat will sit and tear it off
    «+ GearSlayr » yeah probably
    «+ NathanRomulus » and then proceed to crap on your floor
    «+ GearSlayr » seriously though that cat needs to be put down
    «+ GearSlayr » its like 17 years old
    « syrup6 » wow
    « syrup6 » old as fart
    «+ GearSlayr » and damn... you'd think my dog could just drag its ass outside after it takes a shit... BUT NOOOOO
    «+ GearSlayr » i know just what my dog thinks... "how can i piss him off... i know.. i'll drag my ass right next to his computer so he HAS to clean up the skid mark!"
    «+ GearSlayr » longest skid mark that dog ever made was 12 feet... it was so amazing i had to measure it
    «+ GearSlayr » i should've taken pictures
    «+ GearSlayr » it was fucking hilarious

    <Laity> this chick had her friend tell me, she's liked me since middle school
    <Laity> that's over 5 freakin years
    <Al_Koholic> haha
    <Al_Koholic> Is she hot?
    <Al_Koholic> "No."
    <Al_Koholic> "She has a hot personality"
    <Laity> i think she is
    <Laity> well, not amazingly hot
    <Al_Koholic> Just a good personality, no?
    <Al_Koholic> "She's a great person"
    <Laity> i put her pic on the net
    <Laity> lemme find it
    <Laity> (No, i'm not pathetic, i run our class website)
    <Al_Koholic> haha, and that's not pathetic?

    <Speed3D> FUCKING HELL...its bad enough that Im struggling at drawing, but now there's some neighbours partaking in some fucking aweful karaoke!
    <wsmp|phrack> D:
    <wsmp|phrack> want me to take them out?
    <Speed3D> how?
    <wsmp|phrack> well
    <wsmp|phrack> Ill turn up
    <wsmp|phrack> and take them to dinner
    <wsmp|phrack> on my bmx
    <wsmp|phrack> take them out to some russian restuarant
    <Speed3D> not quite what I had in mind
    <Speed3D> I was thinking more along the lines of Death from 1001 papercuts
    <wsmp|phrack> hmmm
    <Speed3D> with the use of iodine
    <wsmp|phrack> I think I could arrange a beating to death witha teaspoon
    <wsmp|phrack> but paper cuts are hard :(

    <MightyBlueJustice> If Jesus would've been shot to death instead of crucified would christians wear jewelry with firearms on it?
    <K-Necrocide> It kinda makes you wish he was assraped to death with a big black cock.

    <^Spike^> I just realised
    <^Spike^> These new coke cans have 'REVOLUTION!!!' written on them.
    <^Spike^> DAMN COMMUNIST SOFT DRINK
    <^Spike^> It also has 'You know you Want it' written on it.
    <^Spike^> That's a whole lot creepier.
    <^Spike^> So my can is a communist and a rapist.

    *In private*
    <KaaLee> Well, he hasn't said a thing while I've been in here.
    <CommanderStab> He must be idling or something. I'll draw him out. Just watch!!
    *In the chat room*
    [22:10:33] <CommanderStab> Hey guys
    [22:11:17] <D-BOY> Fuck off stabb nobody wants to fucking hear what you have to say
    *In private*
    <CommanderStab> Ta-daaa!! Less than a minute!! That's gotta be a record!!!!!!
    <KaaLee> Your skills of annoyance are above us all

    <jamz> hmm
    <jamz> I have a bottle of waterless hand cleaner
    <jamz> for car work and grease and stuff.
    <jamz> It's almost empty.
    <jamz> So, in order to stretch it out, I added some water to it.
    <jamz> In retrospect, not the smartest thing to do.
    <dan0_> this had better end with an explosion of some kind
    <jamz> and there was a huge explosion that could be seen from space.

    <SorcererX> Dispatched on March 21, 2004 Delivery estimate: Mar 19, 2004 - Mar 22, 2004
    <SorcererX> now... I've seen inaccurate estimates before... but this takes the cake
    <SorcererX> "we assume that it'll arrive two days ago or in the next 12 hrs... and the package has to go 2000 km"

    <duncan> i should get oli to come here.
    <duncan> and we should make him get alcohol poisoning.
    <n3wt> Or poison poisoning
    <duncan> YES

    <@SuzyQ> NOVACAINE FOR THE SOUL
    <&supreme> I LOVE POTATOES
    <@nf-Stealth> CARROTS ARE GOOD FOR EYESIGHT
    <&sinSR> ALWAYS WEAR PANTS
    <&supreme> DONT LET DR MARIO TOUCH YOU, HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR

    SteveDixon23: how hard do you think it would be to build a working EMP bomb?
    xanxion: the hard part would be making a video to prove it works.
    SteveDixon23: ...
    SteveDixon23: this is true.

    (SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
    (SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
    (mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*

    <Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods. Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual alienation...

    <Vic> You there X?
    <X> no
    <X> fuck

    (@Normandy) anyway, yes this girl has a nice arse, so maybe on the next staff night out I might slip her one
    (@Kazimierz) who says romance is dead

    <The-Virus> hi
    <The-Virus> hello
    <The-Virus> oh
    <The-Virus> heh
    <The-Virus> =\
    <The-Virus> thought someone said hi
    <The-Virus> besides me

    TaXxXi: Umm...someone in our apartment complex wrote "U Suck Dick" in gold spraypaint on someone's brand new PT Cruiser.
    weird_aunt_martha: yeah PT cruisers are THAT ugly
    TaXxXi: I feel bad because I kinda laughed.

    <Kouban> My friend had a dog that ate a sock once, and it came out hole x_x
    <Chimerasame> ..
    <Crimsonmonkey> which hole
    <Kouban> FUCKING TYPO DIE ME

    <sh-> integration is shit
    <sh-> math style, not rosa parks style

    <Spike> Spam email title: "Did you get your dsjtlkasjt today?"
    <Spike> Why no, no I did not.

    <XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand

    ***Welcome to MSN Support***
    <MSN Assistant> Hello how can I help?
    <Divination> I recently downloaded msn 6.2 and it has been giving me problems…
    <MSN Assistant> Yes, please continue.
    <Divination> I can’t stop drinking I think I’ve turned into an alcoholic…
    *MSN Assistant has left the conversation.

    <Silellak> Do you remember the good old days, when bottle caps said "YOU WIN" or "YOU LOSE", rather than giving you some lame code you redeem at their ad-filled website?
    <Silellak> I miss being told I'm a loser by a corporate product :(

    <WeirdBeard> well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban
    <WeirdBeard> i'm an icecube

    Swift: top ten things I have to do before I die
    Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye
    X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list

    (robb): my father passed away suddenly on thursday, and insted of spending time with him durring his final days i was too busy flooding your gay ass channel cuz you faggots decided to ban me.

    <sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
    <sTek> even worse than "im pregnant"

    <kyle> I'm trying to get this girl to go out with me but every pick up line i use sucks.
    <kolby> next time you see her, ask her what the difference is between a pile of dead babies and a BMW
    <kolby> then tell her that you don't have a BMW in your garage

    <tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate Communications" now
    <tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
    <neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b) someone had control over it

    <Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..

    <czth> cue jokes about dyslexic agonostic insomniac that stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

    <Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become obsessed with terrible songs?
    <Critíc> Pop culture.

    < passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me
    < passagero> is someone amateur?
    < BSDgeek> passagero: the amater sheep are in your back yard, go mount one

    <kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
    <kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
    <kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
    <Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
    <kolby> huh?
    <kolby> ...fuck

    <NapkinEater> can you hold a dollar between your breasts? You are allowed to push your breast together with your hands, but you can't touch the dollar with anything but your boobs
    <Emily-away> I bet I could.
    <Kevyn> I can hold a dollar between my cock and balls.
    <Kevyn> That means I have big balls.
    <Mike_Works> <Kevyn> How bad do you want the dollar? <Homeless Person> :(

    <genjzzzzzz> i was dsl-less for like 7 hours
    <genjzzzzzz> and then some fat tech support dude at earthlink.net fixed it
    <genjzzzzzz> "oops sorry i have fat fingers and hit two keys"
    <genjzzzzzz> he said that, seriously :P

    <@nanashi> Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...
    <+Mara> -_-
    <@Pokute> It's too bad you can't put the right emphasis on the words with IRC

    <X> we women have this secret society
    <X> if we say not to have sex with a guy
    <X> then no one has sex with that guy
    <X> u just got urself black-listed
    <X> heheheh
    <Dan> heh
    <Dan> i think ive been blacklisted for a while

    <OutlawStarwind> Dude for this one question it asks "Do you ever second guess your answers?" I checked "No" then went back a second later and checked "yes" then checked "No" again... I think I have a problem.

    notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv

    <fr0k> Methinks Slicey is A) blushing or B) seriously not amused
    * fr0k hopes for A
    [later]
    <Fractal-Coffee> (i think she's just ignoring you fr0k)
    <fr0k> (she is)
    <Fractal-Coffee> (safer than acknowledging anything you say)
    <pineapple_slice> stop talking about me.
    <fr0k> (she's telling us to stop talking about her...)
    <Fractal-Coffee> (should i say "who said we were talking about you" to her?)
    <Fractal-Coffee> (maybe that'll throw her off)
    <fr0k> (yeah, let's try that)
    <Fractal-Coffee> who said we were talking about you?
    <Fractal-Coffee> who said we were talking at all?
    <pineapple_slice> ... You and fr0k. I'm not that stupid.
    <Fractal-Coffee> were we talking?
    <Fractal-Coffee> who's we?
    <Fractal-Coffee> oh, right
    <fr0k> (I dont' think she's buying it)
    <Fractal-Coffee> (foiled)

    <Anime-Sama> While most people ask themselves "WWJD" (What Would Jesus Do), I've decided to turn to the more appropriate "WTGML," which is an acronym for "Will This Get Me Laid."

    <UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
    <UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
    <Jock> o...k
    <UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
    <UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
    <UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
    <UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

    NaTTiE 623: just a sample of how crazy ms. bauer is......today in health were were taking a test and the question was : WHICH ONE OF THESE IS NOT A FACTOR OF PREGNANCY? and one of the multiple choice questions was : pregnancy makes a woman unexplicably want to chase after and poison squirrels

    <Wes> Anything good coming on TV tonight?
    <kolby> maybe nWo will return
    <Wes> Anything good that doesn't involve dudes in their underwear slap-fighting so they can get a new belt to wear to the Gay Pride Parade?

    <n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat' in the title
    <n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway

    <Mr_Nutty> once in a west texas town of el paso
    <Mr_Nutty> I fell in love with a mexican girl
    <Fina> It didn't stop her from charging you, though

    Lizerati: So, when it's dark and you're driving past a church, the "Worship 11am" sign looks like "Worship Ham"

    John423: I love her with all my <3.
    Acsabh: You love her with all your less than 3? Inches?

    *** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA'

    <kisama> i'll have dsl too, by this week, brett
    <kisama> cockface is hooking me up
    <kisama> :)
    <Guilty|> Thats really nice of your mom to do

    <a_passerby> I want a :D drive instead of a D: drive

    <cave> what does stfu mean??
    <nso> shut the fuck up
    <cave> sor-ry.. it was a simple question.. no reason to get so mad..



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 04.02.2007, 10:43


    (lupin) yeah
    (lupin) I'm pissed
    (lupin) I went to Wal Mart and they stopped me because I had a backpack
    (lupin) and they said "We'll have to hold that for you because of recent events"
    (lupin) and I said "Listen, if I were a terrorist, I think I'd pick a better place to bomb or infect than a backwater WalMart. I'd at least go hit the Super Wal Mart in Bryan because I could go get McDonalds on the way to blowing it up."
    (lupin) and they let me keep my bag

    <xoopx> america is bart, canada is millhouse

    <MerliN`> want kinda cable u using?
    <Cypress> a blue one

    <Jahidi> love is just when two people decide to stalk each other.

    *** gimpoid (~jj@adsl173-22.powerdsl.com.au) has joined #mpeg3c
    <gimpoid> hey
    <lut> sup gimp
    <gimpoid> not much
    <gimpoid> lud ?
    <gimpoid> got fired
    <gimpoid> need work :'(
    <DrBK> HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
    <DrBK> oops
    <DrBK> wrong channel

    (Bass_EXE): reminds me of this one time.. this girl said 'HA! and what would you guys do without us women?!' I just replied 'domesticate another animal.'

    Rob - you know u have a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows!

    <ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
    <ChuffyCow> except cuts on the Bastes dicke dicke Brüste.

    <TrutHurts> o____o: Christ died for all and one day you will acknowledge this fact
    <wired> ORRRR you will die and be dead and you'll wish you didnt spend all your time in an IRC channel preaching

    <rizen> I can put my Bastes dicke dicke Brüste in my belly button.
    <rizen> Envy me.

    <Rottencrotch> h0k do u have months in holland?
    <hokhokk> wtf
    <hokhokk> no we only have minutes
    <Rottencrotch> omg
    <hokhokk> its 238472893765 today

    <@MCJ> there was a little piece of soap left in the shower
    <@MCJ> about the size of a credit card
    <@MCJ> so i ran it through my butt crack making beep beep noises

    <Aemon> so what do you do? network security?
    <Dark_Knight> Information security/Network security
    <Aemon> cool
    <Aemon> i'm a lowly webdesigner/developer
    <Dark_Knight> although having IRC on my box at work is a major violation of the security policy
    <Dark_Knight> but fuck it, I wrote it

    <Killzig> you guys want to hear something fucked up i did at work today, which I blame all of you for -- by the way
    <Insane-Lark> sure
    <Dan`> ?
    <Killzig> I faxed a quote to a client and wrote "K THX BYE" on the bottom

    paper: shit
    paper: flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?!
    paper: shit i gotta warn bob

    <scytale> man, i suck at cooking
    <scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor
    <scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up

    <DjK> well, I noticed that the noise my kid makes when he gets into a tantrum at the shops wanting chocolate is EXACTLY the same noise he makes when I accidentally cut off the top of his finger when he's helping me prepare the carrots.
    <Rovie> ...
    <DjK> and they say I'm a bad parent - but I notice these little things!

    <blazingpie> france wants to ban gambling because its not French :p
    <Chatmaster> It is weird actually because some of the games have their origins in France
    <Chatmaster> and they are a gambling culture
    <blazingpie> well, living next to the Germans Im not suprised.
    <blazingpie> "Jacque, I bet 100 you can't get the Germans to get angry and shoot at you"
    <blazingpie> "I take you up on that"
    <blazingpie> *goes over to border and glances in their direction*
    <blazingpie> *Germans see the Frenchie dare look at them* "AAAAAAAAH, VADERLAND!
    <blazingpie> "Sacre Bleu, they're invading again!"



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 13.02.2007, 22:18


    <C-B0> i put a toad in the freezer... it peed then froze to the bottem...
    then my mom like screamed at me for a week or 2.. it ruled

    <Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
    <Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian

    <KidHype> <Razoola> Honey, they are picking on me again on the rg boards
    <KidHype> <Razoolas wife> Well i never...i will tell them how awesome you are and that will show them
    <KidHype> <Razoola> thanks hun, you rock *sniff*

    <@reflexive> does your book tell me how to get rid of a sore throat?
    <mattlesko> let me look
    <mattlesko> pg. 130
    <mattlesko> "stop sucking cock"

    <McEi8th> God damn it
    <McEi8th> I walked in on my mom last night sucking off my dad and I saw his dong
    <McEi8th> It was pretty sick
    <Pozzi> Dude that wasn't your dad...
    * Pozzi runs

    <+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!?
    <@miz> nothing
    <@miz> :o

    <deadkode> rent-a-center is funny as hell
    <deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
    <deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
    > http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp
    <RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their website?
    <deadkode> free till payday
    <RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the hot sauce".

    <armyopsfufu> shoplifting is a victimless crime, like PUNCHING SOMEONE IN THE DARK
    <DrivingZucchini> or jacking off into a birdbath

    <The-Virus> any C programmer here :)
    <wf> yea i got a C in programming class
    <wf> that count?

    <GamespitterZ420> i wanted to know why your name is blue and why it has an @in front of it?
    <@Shadoe> I'm a fucking smurf with a tumor
    <GamespitterZ420> damn sorry dude my condolences

    <downer> who is you?
    <Sarpedon> yo mama
    <Sarpedon> oh wait... i'm sorry
    <Sarpedon> i often confuse myself WITH PEOPLE I FUCK

    <Scarlet[away]> :/
    <Scarlet[away]> im cold :(
    <Scarlet[away]> my teeth are chattering lol
    <SEXMACHINE> remind me not to ask for a blow job on a cold night
    <Scarlet[away]> ROFL

    lonelychic0190: WHY DO BOYS LIKE RECIEIVING ORAL BUT THEY DONT LIKE GIVING GIRL ORAL
    Goat Desecration: BECAUSE WOMEN CAN'T TALK WITH A DICK IN THEIR MOUTH

    < mine9> 231,212 people or communities on LJ that list "sleeping" as an interest
    < mine9> 1.03 million for music
    < mine9> 324,420 for computers
    < mine9> and a measly 196,490 for sex
    < mine9> talk about boring people...
    < nub> that's because they're on livejournal. look up "masturbation"

    JA: would you date a christian?
    JK: Sure
    JK: I'd screw the Jesus right out of her
    JA: OMG i can't BELIEVE you just said that
    JK: Because once you've been in bed with me, you know the truth
    JK: there is no God :(

    <drBoston> DGMage : asl
    <DGMage> You seriously need a new pickup line.
    <drBoston> never
    <drBoston> you don't fuck with perfection



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 18.02.2007, 15:05


    <BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
    <BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
    <BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
    <BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

    <Starlet> <--- law student. future lawyer.
    <Jerub> <-- computer programmer. future defendant.

    <TheMadHatter> I eat heads.
    <Devilution> Felatio doesn't exactly qualify as head eating...
    <Devilution> but keep trying.
    <TheMadHatter> No, you completely misunderstood, I eat heads!
    <Devilution> No you completely misunderstood, suck my dick!

    <CptPlanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out there.
    <CptPlanet> and you call yourself an internet.

    <@`2L> South Korea is to spend nearly twenty billion dollars to hook up every household in the country to broadband internet.
    <@`2L> South Korea, where 60% of the country's 48 million citizens surf, is to ensure all homes can receive broadband connections by 2005, reports BBC.
    <@`2L> The Korean Government is funding loans of 13.3 trillion won (around 20 billion Australian dollars) to the country's biggest telecom company, KT Corp, and ISPs to enable the massive infrastructure project.
    <div> 20 billion on diablo. starcraft and pr0n
    <div> best govt ever

    <The_Snowman> but as always, the kids got a ton of gifts.... :/
    <The_Snowman> we've spent all day clearing out their room to get room for all the new shi.... toys
    <Scarebear> We did the same thing yesterday. They got heaps! Yesterday was cleanup day
    <The_Snowman> im really thinking of kick/banning grandparents from #xmas :/

    <lief> My brother just got suspended from school for sticking a bible down his pants while walking around in the halls singing Mansons "Personal Jesus" and asking random girls to "Reach down and touch faith".

    xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked out of his car

    <FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
    <Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.

    <DeathRay> My car can fly thanks to the power of lies!

    <Bobo> what's wrong with being a homosexual?
    <klong> it's gay

    <Focusyn> hmm there are chicks on my floor named Johnnie, Scott and Brett
    <@SJr|Tecra> tell them that after the operations they are suppose to pick girls names.

    <exo> why are redneck murders so hard to solve
    <exo> cuz theres no dental records and all their DNA is the same
    <fearz> HAHAHA

    <mwcfan88> man i really got tan over the past few days
    <crack-geanie> alright thats it you've been warned now you're out of the club
    <crack-geanie> i expect you to return you're pointy hat and flaming cross by tuesday
    <mwcfan88> <:(

    <Blarrrg> so my CD drive stopped working a couple days ago
    <Blarrrg> i figured it must have just been the drivers
    <Blarrrg> i looked around but couldn't find any, so i emailed the company requesting them
    <Blarrrg> today i go to check my mail, and guess what i find
    <Blarrrg> they mailed me a CD with them

    <Ron912> <OiOiBuNnY> one time at retard camp i stuck a wheelchair in my pussy

    {TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your throat.

    <[SAD]Kuja> ppl like you are scum
    <[SAD]Kuja> i hope you fucking choke you asshole
    <[SAD]Kuja> if you died and ppl dissrespected you like that
    <[SAD]Kuja> would you be happy ??
    <pain> no. I would be dead.

    <Zang> How old is Sky?
    <Cyril> 25 i think
    <Cyril> he just gained a level
    <Cyril> er year

    KajiTheGaurdian: Funny thing. There were these papers by kids posted on the wall of the temple about why being Jewish is good, and one kid wrote "I like being Jewish because it means I'm special," but he wrote it as "spechul".
    Dolorous Decay: He sounds pretty fucking spechul to me

    <avalon> can I touch you now?
    <Nala> I still don't know you
    -!- avalon is now known as dad
    <dad> how about now?

    <Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

    <Glock> So i attended this sudden death the other day, a guy hung himself
    <Glock> The guys partner was there and said he'd been pretty depressed lately
    <Glock> Then my stupid partner says 'Has he ever done anything like this before?'
    <Glock> Should have seen the confused face of the poor girl
    <Izzy> Maybe it was jesus....he'll come back

    <Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
    <Falcon24> ok
    <ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 09.07.2007, 14:40


    <Lyfe> definition of porking: going to the club with the intention of sleeping with the fattest hoe you can find, in the hopes your bitch will be fatter then the ones your buddies pick up, so you get the pot of money.
    <Lyfe> oops, wrong channel =/
    <Lyfe> disregard
    Morlack coughs
    <Rakash|HoW> Lyfe you need a little timeout?
    <Morlack> No, I think he needs a better plan at getting women.

    (Gr0wleh) ouch
    (Gr0wleh) I just hit myself
    (Gr0wleh) in the balls
    (Gr0wleh) brb while I wince in pain
    (Gr0wleh) this... hurts
    (Gr0wleh) had my hands on top of my head
    (Gr0wleh) and they slipped off

    <exx> they're horrible drivers as is, lets not make them kamikaze's
    <exx> I bet the jap fighter pilots were trying to land on those ships..

    DasKrav: We were playing a review game in history class, on the topic of the roman empire
    DasKrav: The game was like this: The class divides into 8 groups, and one person rotates with the rest of the group in jeapordy-style questions,
    DasKrav: and the question was "What was the name of the emperor who built a wall in britain?"
    DasKrav: and nobody knew it, so he said "Here's a hint: Its named after him."
    DasKrav: and so this one jock guy in my class goes,
    DasKrav: "Berlin?"

    <haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
    <haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
    <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
    <haz3l> really?
    <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
    <haz3l> Would that owrk?
    <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
    <haz3l> :D
    <haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
    <haz3l> OMG THE BEEEEEPAGE
    <haz3l> MAKE IT STOPPP
    <haz3l> LGBR HELP

    <Crystal_s> Where is everyone? I refuse to believe this many people have lives outside of IRC

    <SUMO> Yeah, your girlfriend is a slut.
    <Marlon_Strike> no she's not.
    <TIKKI-MAN_FAEZZ> sounds like it:P
    <Marlon_Strike> She simply has an odd sense of humor.
    * cloud|I-Saviour looks at Eld and nods
    * SUMO nods at Cloud as well.
    <Marlon_Strike> ....
    <Marlon_Strike> You guys suck...
    <Marlon_Strike> I never insult your girlfriends...
    <SUMO> We never have any.

    <@f0dd|away> !topic #ol - guns don't kill people; I kill people
    *** nuff0r changes topic to '#ol - guns don't kill people; I kill people'
    <Kwazy> Guns kill people, but at least THEY dont rape them afterwards
    <Kwazy> *sick grin*

    * [3x]Taenarin trys to punts Kep, but [3x]Taenarins foot gets stuck in Keps ass!
    <[3x]Taenarin> HELP!
    <[3x]Taenarin> GET IT OFF!
    <Kep> =(
    <Kep> HELP!
    <Kep> GET IT OUT!
    * Kep has quit IRC (Client Exiting)
    <[3x]Taenarin> fucker, he stole my shoe =(

    [+Hobbes] I was driving by a church on the way home and on the message board out front it said "Under new management"

    <Zahava> <3<3happy valentines everybody!!<3<3
    <@Silva> Roses are Red
    <@Silva> Violets are Blue
    <@Silva> i could never love you
    <@Silva> because you're 1/16 jew
    * Zahava has quit IRC (quit: )



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 12.09.2007, 22:24


    * nephlite is listening to korean pop
    <Anwar> is it about starcraft?
    <nephlite> probably

    (doggie^): i remember using morpheus ages back
    (doggie^): everytime i searched for something i would get !!!!!!!!preteen sex piss fuck shit animals ......................... .avi
    (doggie^): was very annoying
    ([olly]): lol
    (slippy^): yeh :/
    (slippy^): that movie sucked

    * jesus takes off your pants.
    * Sexypants is now known as Sexy
    <jesus> rawr
    <Sexy> jesus took off my pants
    <Kitsa> the lord works in mysterious ways

    <b1u3> i hate those fat/ugly girls who go around wo bras like theyre playboy bunnies
    <b1u3> them: 'im secure with my body!' me: 'im not'

    <Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
    <kibet> which is?
    <Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"

    <stuberg> we got home from fishos at about 3 am drank as fuck
    <stuberg> drunk*
    <stuberg> and decided to have this mass acid/shrooms binge
    <stuberg> and we kept goin all mornin on it like trippin out crazy and watching some chinese subtitle moviee
    <stuberg> and at about 8.30 in the mornign paulie decides he has to go to school and he actually left and walked to school
    <pualat> ur friend went school on an acid/mushies trip nice
    <stuberg> no no u dont get it, hes 24 and owns his own business hes not sposed to go to school

    <SoulFlayer> i have read every single quote on bash.org
    <VDJ> you know, thats kinda like saying i have memorized the windows 95 source code

    <ptgenera> do you agree that "baby" is an awesome unit of volume?
    <ptgenera> for instance: "That microwave is easily a six-baby unit."

    <RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people think
    <RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that shouldn't survive are able to

    <Yaksha> I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.
    <Yaksha> He said he wanted cold hard cash.
    <Yaksha> So that's exactly what I gave him.
    <Yaksha> I got 20 $1 bills, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.
    <Yaksha> When he got it, it was just a block of green ice that took a day to thaw.

    <makeworld> ICQ scared the shit outta me
    <makeworld> walked into my pitch dark room and hear a knocking noise, sounded like someone knocking on my window
    <makeworld> shit

    <ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in the bathroom
    <ckx> i fucking clean my mouth with that thing
    <ckx> i don't want no skank ass panties on top of it at 8 fucking am
    *** skmt changes topic to '<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in th'
    <ckx> yah that's pretty funny
    <ckx> almost as funny as picking pubic hair out of your teeth

    <RadiX> I had a thought
    <Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.
    <RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure what it was.

    <Sigma> being Rod Stewart would be awesome
    <Sigma> he gets all these hot chicks
    <Sigma> the only bad thing would be that you would be Rod Stewart



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 19.09.2007, 16:13


    <AnneRobinson^> Do Canadians really like fart jokes for entertainment???
    <shagman> fart jokes rock
    <shagman> take this classic canadian joke for example
    * shagman farts on IEatChildren

    <KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*)
    <KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all.
    <Bayls> KK - What's your speech?
    <KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end"
    <KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.

    <infamous>my old man always said, the day I cant do my job drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun...

    <ascian> why do you guys need a car?
    <Odat> cause people look at you funny when you run down the highway making vroom noises with your mouth

    <Koban> "Coke"®, "Coca-Cola"®, "The Real Thing"©, "Always"©, "It"©, "Christmas"©, "Summer"©, "The Olympics"© and most other words are owned by the Coca-Cola® Corporation.

    <kasp> I got a shirt that had integral signs all over it,
    and read: "Math is an integral part of life." I got another shirt
    that has a small symbol of pi on the front, and 1000 digits of pi
    (followed by "...") on the back
    <glasnost> wow kasp
    <brouwer> i've never met you, but i want to beat you up

    gentoogod: omg dude
    gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
    gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
    siral21: what was it
    gentoogod: ok before i say this
    gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
    gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
    gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
    gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
    gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
    gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
    gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
    gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted

    <peer> Bad timing is when you are running late and you get all the red lights
    <+FyreDaug> Nah, bad timing is what happened yesterday
    <+FyreDaug> One of my girl friends was over and she asked me to do something and I was doing something on my computer already so I said "just gimmie another sec"
    <+FyreDaug> and shes like "aw cmon I've given you lots of secs already!"
    <+FyreDaug> as my mom was walking upstairs where the computer room is. She just looked at me funny and walked away

    bcreasy: come check this out
    gbarnes: no
    bcreasy: *shiny thing*
    gbarnes: oh, be right there

    <A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
    <DarthJesus> I dunno'
    <DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
    <A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

    <X3M`Dodo> |TazHoliO| : If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?

    <Aegis> You know what's REALLY freaky about the game Black & White?
    <Aegis> When you're helping these guys in the beginning build their boat...
    <Aegis> They want meat to eat along the way, right? No problem.
    <Aegis> Well...when you give a sheep to them they're like "Oooh, a sheep. Sheep have many uses...thank you."
    <Aegis> Makes me wonder...

    <trivy> 019.168. Acronym Soup: DAP ?
    <trivy> 1st Hint: ******* ******* ******** BONUS Question Value : 55000 Points
    <trivy> 2nd Hint: par**** ******* ******** 46.7 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
    <tobrie> ...
    <tobrie> thats not right
    <abigale> hmm
    <trivy> 3rd Hint: pare*** a*ai*** ****e*ia 23.3 secs & 55000 Points Remaining
    <Halffast> maybe it's foreign
    <trivy> Times up! The answer was -> parents against dyslexia <-

    Yogo: i hate stupid people!!!!!
    Yogo: stood in the queue at a self service checkout
    Yogo: guy infront scans a bottle of milk and looks at the screen, a message pops up and an automated voice say "please place item in bagging area"
    Yogo: he looks at the screen, then tries to scan the item again
    Yogo: and again, "please place item in bagging area"
    Yogo: so his wife looks all confused, grabs the milk and....
    Yogo: tries to fucking scan it again!!
    Yogo: i was almost in tears
    Yogo: i think these machines should be build so if it has to tell you what to do 3 times a small arm should pop out and remove that persons reproductive organs!

    <Molson> Yeah...Good idea
    <Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
    <Molson> I see it now: Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
    <Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs.
    <Jouka> Bwahahaha
    <Cindy728> um.....ew....

    <Oriden> you have lens crafters in canada?
    <EV3> yup yup
    <Gregg|WaitingForUO> no
    <Gregg|WaitingForUO> we just leave our visually impaired to die.
    <Gregg|WaitingForUO> get hit by cars and stuff

    <_apostle_> yea but all the really fun stuff costs more money
    <_apostle_> and you need to find the right kid of hooker
    <Monk_Grav> The right kid of hooker?
    <Monk_Grav> I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
    <_apostle_> *kind

    <Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"
    <Boogieman> and she said "yes"
    <Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
    <Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
    <Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say

    <LayMon> PH33r me
    <themage> AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
    <LayMon> woot
    <LayMon> i am pheered
    * LayMon (c6c2@65.119.99.99) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
    <themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad

    * SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke
    <SBRLestat> a sprite for me scythe
    <SBR_Starfire> Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock
    <SBR_Starfire> oh my god
    <SBR_Starfire> I'm never going to live that one down am I?
    <SBR_Scythe> nope

    <jimmiejaz> http://news.myway.com/odd/article/id/388409|oddlyenough|03-01-2004::10:26|reuters.html
    <Jay1> fucking LINK
    <Jay1> argh
    <Jay1> you made me open it bich
    <Jay1> and it opened in my insurance quote windows and fucked it up
    <jimmiejaz> deal with it, I didn't tell you to click it.
    <Jay1> it opens it self
    <jimmiejaz> so links in your IRC window open all by them self?
    <Jay1> yes
    <jimmiejaz> http://www.tubgirl.com
    <Jay1> I HATE YOU
    <jimmiejaz> get a real client, one that doesn't open www.tubgirl.com when it sees it.
    <jimmiejaz> www.lemonparty.org
    <Jay1> U GAY POOF
    <Jay1> i HATE YOU
    <jimmiejaz> www.lemonparty.org
    <Jay1> FUCK SAKE
    <-- Jay1 has quit (Client Exiting)

    <Immortal> A friend of mine works as a janitor at a high school
    <Immortal> and that high school has a really advanced mental/developmentally handicapped program
    <Immortal> in other words, a special wing for retards
    <wm161> dyslexics of the world, untie!
    <Patrick_Moore> lol
    <Immortal> well anyway, the janitors put mousetraps in the rooms that the retards use
    <Immortal> but the retards kept setting them off to take the peanut butter
    <Immortal> eventually, they figured out that they could set them off with a foot and it would hurt less
    <Immortal> so they had to hide the mouse traps
    <Immortal> :D
    <Immortal> anyone who reads all that will think it's funny
    <Immortal> or else call me an insensitive bastard

    <DB> Oh god - what the fuck do they put in absinthe? i only had a couple and I feel like I've been raped by a camel..
    <Rust_Bunny> It's meant to be taken orally ..

    <scummo> I was saying "eat a dick" even then, trying to get good grades by drawing pictures of shoes
    <scummo> a tradition I keep up even today
    <scummo> the 4.0 on the 15-page paper about the importance of midgets and dwarfs in film has to be my crown jewel



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 29.10.2007, 13:32


    Adam (12:26) :
    we are young, we are rich*, we are handsome**, we can do whatever we like!
    Adam (12:26) :
    *might not be the case
    Adam (12:26) :
    **might be far from truth
    211-695-915 (12:27) :
    *lol*

    Unermessliche Dekad. (01:47) :
    " [...] und wir kehren auf dem Rücken von Delphinen in unsere Heimat zurück..."

    <aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
    <aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people would automatically start masturbating.

    (oddmud): oh great, here comes another idiot
    (@tekzil): afraid of a little competition?

    * enwhysea can't wait for the war with iraq
    <MamlaCat> enwhy it will never happen
    <enwhysea> That might be the reason i can't actually wait for it.

    <_SnakeMan> do the clocks change tonight?
    <AlbinoLov> I think they do sunday/
    <MiL0> yes
    <MiL0> unless you live in some parts of indiana or arizona
    <_SnakeMan> sometime in the early am of sunday, right?
    <Argent-> The clocks change every night... into fierce blood sucking imps that chase me around the house until I fall over exhausted, then they mock me about my small genitalia.

    <TheThree> your special?
    <Mj> you're
    <TheThree> sorry my grammer sucks
    <Mj> grammar
    <TheThree> as dose my spelling
    <Mj> does
    <TheThree> i give up
    <Mj> I

    * gjinn[a] points to his atheist side
    * EmersonOw points to his love for underaged boys
    <EmersonOw> i mean my catholic side

    Beachtlicher Wohlst.: Der Bojox Mann, der Bojox Mann
    Er kommt und fickt deine Frau
    Und sie sagt nur "Hallo Liebling"
    Er war viel besser als du!

    <SirLudicrus> What are those hats that have beer can mounts on each side called?
    <Kurin> Stupid

    Arrron: Bei Frauen muss man immer den Faktor X bedenken!
    Arrron: Geht alles klar? JA! Aber sie ist eine Frau... also wer weiß!
    Arrron: Er: Wieso hast du das gemacht? Sie: Ich hab so gefühlt! Ich weiß nicht! Das Haus war grün! Die Banane krumm...
    Arrron: kurz: mein Gefühl!
    Arrron: Schlimm, wenn man seine Gefühle nicht in Worte fassen kann, sie nicht versteht und TROTZDEM danach handelt.

    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (22:43:20 21/07/2008)
    REGELN FUER ALLES! und wenn ich aufs klo geh will ich eine GE_probe ablegen muessen ob ich die schuessel treff!
    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (22:44:00 21/07/2008)
    das bringt mich auf die idee: koerperliches Talent: "notdurft verrichten" FF/GE/KK
    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (22:44:52 21/07/2008)
    moegliche spezialisierung; stehend pinkler, schnellscheisser, furzen



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 28.06.2008, 14:08


    2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
    3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
    6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
    8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.
    9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
    15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
    17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
    18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
    20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
    22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
    25. The green elf does not need food badly.
    26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.
    31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.
    35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.
    36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.
    38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
    39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'
    42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.
    43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.
    47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.
    53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.
    55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
    57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.
    58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.
    59. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.
    61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.
    64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"
    66. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks.
    68. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs.
    69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.
    71. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phasor
    72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.
    74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
    75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"
    77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.
    80. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to find a pistol.
    81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.
    82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.
    83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.
    88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
    89. The elf's name is not Legolam.
    90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
    91. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon.
    92. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
    95. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again.
    97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'
    98. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.
    104. Nor is there a 1 Longsword, 5 against party members.
    106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.
    112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.
    116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.
    121. I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc.
    122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.
    123. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.
    124. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.
    125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.
    128. Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind.
    134. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"
    135. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.
    138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.
    148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
    149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.
    153. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.
    156. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option.
    157. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.
    159. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.
    160. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.
    161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.
    162. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.
    164. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.
    170. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.
    171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
    172. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.
    174. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.
    177. Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.
    182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
    185. My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl.
    189. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.
    190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.
    194. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.
    196. I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another country.
    198. Not allowed to steal my own soul.
    199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'
    202. Character descriptions cannot contain two of the following words: Slavic, Tonedeaf, Karaoke, Musician.
    204. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself.
    207. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.
    209. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face.
    210. My Antipaladin's heraldry is not Mr. Yuk.
    212. If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel.
    218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
    219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".
    220. I am not the master of the low blow or the gang up.
    227. My last wish cannot be "I wish we were playing another game."
    228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2.
    229. Not allowed to spontaneously check if the elf can take a punch.
    230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.
    231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
    233. If I am the medtech it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in medicine.
    235. My Samedi is required to have dots in obfuscate. Plural, as in more than one, two more than none.
    236. My character has no need for 24,000 cartons of cigarettes, especially in his neighbor's garage.
    244. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any.
    246. I cannot keep selling that creepy guy's always naked elf chick to nomads every chance I get.
    247. If the king rewards me with a forest, I am to assume he intends for me to keep it a forest.
    248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots.
    250. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept.
    257. I cannot wish nobody else gets wishes.
    261. The Barbarian's name does not translate into "Screams like little sissy girl" in my language.
    262. When the GM forces the plot, I cannot make choo-choo noises.
    263. Not allowed to attempt to kill the Hutt by pouring salt on him.
    264. I cannot use the time machine to go to Ancient Greece where all the women were leather clad, oiled down with big bosoms.
    265. It assumed my mechwarrior knows at least what one of the buttons in his cockpit does.
    268. Mr. Welch is not allowed to speak in 3rd person.
    269. My character cannot hear the soundtrack.
    271. Tracheotomies are best left to characters with skills in medicine.
    273. No matter how smart I make my animal companion, he still can't take the tax accountant skill.
    275. I must remember at dinner time Rock is not a dwarven delicacy.
    276. I must remember at dinner time Log is not an elven delicacy.
    277. My half-ogre cannot surprise the halflings with spontaneous games of dodgeball.
    281. I cannot get emotionally attached to any generic nondescript unnamed NPC.
    283. I have been assured with total certainty Ralph is not a Japanese name.
    284. When the CO asks for volunteers, I can't help others make a decision.
    285. I am not from Margaritaville, and even if I was, that doesn't excuse the hawaiian shirt and lawn chair during the dress inspection.
    286. No character of mine can start with 400 previous convictions for any misdemeanor.
    287. When asked for advice before a fight "Don't wet yourself in public" is not what they were looking for.
    288. I cannot name my character after another PC already in this game.
    289. My character does not have the flaw Addiction: Helium.
    290. I cannot figure that the dungeon we're in is the Pac-Man maze and point it out to the rest of the party.
    291. I cannot form a huddle to discuss strategy before facing the final monster in the dungeon.
    293. Clowns shoes have no place in a dungeon crawl.
    294. My dwarf is not claustrophobic, likewise, my elf is not agoraphobic.
    298. Sprechen Sie Bang-Bang? is not real German.
    300. I cannot give the rebel operatives the codenames Luke, Han, Chewie or Yoda.
    301. "Well Hung" is not a physical, social or mental trait.
    302. A gimp suit does not count as leather armor.
    304. My life long nemesis is not allowed to be the unsuspecting cleric sitting across the table from me.
    305. Anything my character does that ends up as errata I am retroactively prohibited from doing.
    306. Chaotic Evil dieties do not have hymnals.
    310. I cannot spend all my points on just followers.
    311. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot start the game as pope.
    312. I am not the son, father, husband, exroommate, former professor or retired garbageman of the villain.
    314. Under 'Religion' I cannot put 'Xenu'.
    315. My gnome cannot save point on the ride skill simply by asking for piggyback rides everywhere.
    316. My character is not allowed to commit suicide five minutes into the campaign.
    317. My battlecry is not 'Now young Skywalker you will die'.
    319. My character does not have the flaw: Dark Secret- I'm Kilroy.
    320. The Sultan does not want a treasure bath.
    321. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path. Not the Slap Happy Jappy.
    322. My bard knows more songs than just "I Saw Your Mommy"
    323. I cannot start the game with a highly contagious deadly disease.
    324. I cannot start the game pregnant.
    325. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.
    327. I am not allowed to decide which one of us is the Chosen One.
    330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
    335. When installing cyberware, can't install the Clapper as a built in feature.
    336. Cannot start a Cthuhlu character with a pre-existing hatred of books, altars and cutlery.
    339. Can't avoid going on an epic quest with the excuse "Can't find a sitter".
    340. I cannot start the game married to another PC without their consent.
    341. Not allowed to declare myself a free agent and take offer from other adventuring parties.
    342. After the first adventure I cannot write a tell all book about the party.
    348. The rest of the party appreciates it if I don't start the game in Cyberpsychosis.
    349. Power Word: Beer Me is not a real spell.
    352. When I choose my wizard's familar, Belgians are not a legal choice.
    354. Tricking the party into killing each other off and then turning in their corpses for the bounty is frowned upon.
    355. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!"
    363. When challenged to a showdown, I'm meant to face him at 10 paces with pistols, not 10 blocks with a Sharpe's Big .50.
    366. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.
    371. No thinking up new, creative and fun uses for cursed items.
    372. Cannot start the game blitzed, especially if I was stone sober at the last game break.
    374. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.
    378. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". Especially since he's the bard.
    379. I am to stop asking the elf to put a good word in for me with Santa.
    382. I can't bet the power gamer he can't solo the module.
    385. All characters will use the bathroom before the dungeon crawl.
    387. I cannot give magic items super easy commands words like 'is' or 'the' and activate when you say them.
    388. Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees.
    389. My samurai is not required to commit seppuku if he fails to hit the monster.
    390. My character's background must be more indepth than a montage of Queen lyrics.
    392. I am forbidden to see when halflings or gnomes bounce higher.
    393. If I can fit my head down the gun's barrel, I can assume it doesn't have the non-lethal option.
    395. I cannot have any weapon that requires me to crank start it first.
    396. I will refrain from using wildly inaccurate high explosive weapons in close quarters.
    399. When I have to pick a starting dementia, Stockholm Syndrome is not appropriate.
    400. Check the door means to listen at it, not put several rounds through it.
    401. When a virgin sacrifice is demanded I will not look knowingly at the paladin, netrunner or Hermetic.
    404. No subcontracting dungeon crawls.
    405. I will not name my character for the power gaming campaign Generic Cleave Path Fighter #7.
    407. I will not blow all my starting funds on hookers and booze.
    416. I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm.
    419. Spankings generally will not change evil alignments.
    429. If the character isn't deaf, his only language cannot be AMSLAN.
    431. We will not implement any battle plan that includes the underlined words "And hope they miss a lot".
    433. I will not find a peaceful solution to the adventure just to piss off the power gamer.
    438. The ability to afflict everyone in 150' with herpes is not an acceptable super power.
    441. There is an upper limit on the number of people a bullet will go through.
    450. When told to distract the villainess, they didn't mean with a surprise marriage proposal.
    451. I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character.
    453. I will not redefine the term 'trapdoor'.
    454. No staking a vampire with anything larger than his chest cavity.
    455. Styrofoam is not an appropriate component for golems.
    457. I did not invent the wet tabard contest.
    458. "When I'm in the mood" is not a valid trigger for a contingency spell.
    462. 1st Watch is not for accordion practice.
    466. 3rd Watch is not clothing optional.
    468. If the party wakes to find a chariot upside down in a fountain, I'd better not be the prime, usual or only suspect.
    469. If I wake up to find black cloaked figures in my room, I will not immediately point them to the halflings' room.
    470. Sarcasm is wasted on Imperial Stormtroopers.
    471. I am not fluent in any dialect of gibberish.
    475. Can't trick the rest of the party into babysitting my kids.
    482. No uploading porn to my CO's HUD.
    483. No downloading porn from my CO's HUD.
    484. If the word 'Mullet' appears anywhere on my samurai's character sheet, he's vetoed.
    485. My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah, Torah, Torah"
    486. No how tough the encounter was, I will keep the congratulatory ass slapping to a minimum.
    491. If my Faith is 4 and your Faith is 2, that doesn't mean Jesus loves me twice as much.
    492. Beer Boy is not an acceptable hireling for the dungeon crawl.
    494. I will not use a time machine to invade Germany on September 2, 1939 by surprise, securing Dutch domination of Europe.
    495. No supplying my own canned applause.
    501. Even if playing a game allowing animal characters, Tai Chihuahua is not a good concept.
    502. If my name isn't Grimlock, can't start every sentence with "Me Grimlock"
    503. Dwarves do not get Beard Cancer.
    506. Mjy Vjikjing Skjald wjill njot tjake ljibjertjies wjith thje rjunjic ajlphjabjet.
    510. After a bloody battle, I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnage angels.
    511. When GM demands to know what my character is doing, it better not be "The Charleston".
    513. Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending.
    514. No giving my Roman gladiator the short disadvantage and naming him Minimus.
    516. Not allowed to name my characters Grimlock.
    518. Affirmative Action does not require me to play a drow.
    520. Under no circumstances is my medical droid allowed a groin mounted rectal thermometer.
    521. I will not convince the entire party to play Amish for the cyberpunk campaign.
    522. Not allowed to parry at the wrist.
    523. When I'm rescued the correct response is 'thank you' not 'took your freaking time!'
    524. I will not ask my gun for advice.
    526. If an NPC is known as the "One" I cannot volunteer to be the "Two".
    532. Despite being a staple of comic books everywhere, I cannot teleport objects in front of naked people.
    533. I cannot increase my comeliness by growing a pornstache.
    535. I cannot make a dungeon crawl easier by opening a rival dungeon and hiring away all his guards.
    538. Even if I spend the points, I cannot start married to any of the X-Men.
    539. Defensive perimeter traps my character sets up are automatically party knowledge.
    540. A full minute of stunned silence means "My God what did you do?" not "Please continue."
    541. When prompted for a target by the guided missile "the naughty bits" is not a valid choice.
    544. I will not cast Gate to bind an infernal creature of power to my bidding and make him mow the lawn.
    546. Dead party members, while effective, are not appropriate anti-grenade measures.
    554. Even though armor gives him no benefit, my monk still has to wear something.
    557. If they get a bonus to spot my gun with a geiger counter, I can't have it.
    558. There is not a 'Take your daughter to work day' for adventurers.
    559. Even if the Ranger offers his sword, the elf his bow and the dwarf his axe, my gnome can't offer his accordion.
    564. The Lutherans don't have an inquisition.
    565. My vampire hunter can't have anything he saw on an infomercial at 3am on PBS.
    570. The DM does not want to know how my human fighter is triple wielding scimitars.
    572. Even if the rules say otherwise, I cannot carry 100lbs of styrofoam without encumbrance penalties.
    574. "Get dressed quickly in the dark" is not an advantage, bonus, benefit, feat, skill, perk or merit.
    578. Rectomancy is not a school of magic.
    580. A sledgehammer does not give any bonus to my search for secret doors roll.
    584. On second thought, a minotaur architect is a really bad idea.
    585. No using psychic powers before the adventure to figure out who to take life insurance out on.
    587. No taunting the 1st level magic user with "Mighty bold talk for a guy with only 4HP."
    588. Paladins are immune to STDs, but if I take advantage of this ability, I lose it. Wonderful paradox, isn't it?
    589. If my gun on a scale of 1-10 is a 7, it's vetoed if that's the Richter scale.
    592. No matter how well I roll, other PCs cannot be haggled into paying me to perform errands for me.
    597. The party does not need to know about the time I woke up duct taped to the back of a Drow Matron Mother.
    602. Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.
    603. I cannot have any gun mentioned in the Geneva Convention by name.
    604. If my alignment forbids torture, that includes Gnomish Poetry Slams.
    605. Even if this an adventuring party, I can't show up to the adventure drunk and wearing only a toga, lampshade and half elf stripper.
    606. If my power is super growth, that includes my skin.
    607. A N-Scale tuba player is not an appropriate miniature for my gnome bard.
    610. I cannot name my character Dwead Piwate Woberts.
    612. Every time a PC takes himself out through his own stupidity does not let me sing the Oompa-Loompa song.
    613. I can't have a magic item I can't request with a straight face.
    614. My superhero tank must be height/weight proportionate.
    617. The forehead is not an appropriate place for a kill count holo-tattoo.
    618. No matter how much my humanity loss, a chainsaw is not a substitute for a bayonet.
    622. Paladins make poor vikings. And vice versa.
    625. I must remember before the next time I shave off the sleeping dwarf's beard and glue it to the sleeping elf, wars have been started that way.
    627. The GM decides if my character dies from a stroke, not me.
    632. When asked to tutor someone on his defense trait, can't keep punching him until he get it.
    635. Arguments cannot end with the statement 'Alright, we'll settle this like penguins!'
    637. German characters do not gets 4 racial bonus to intimidate French characters.
    652. My fighter cannot take the flaw: Addiction- stabbing things.
    653. Cannot wish for the party to have common sense. Even the wish spell has its limits.
    655. When asked my position in the party, it's not 'whatever's closest to Bangkok.'
    661. The line on my character sheet for 'Sex' is not for keeping score.
    662. My Paladin will stop referring to her detect evil power as Evildar.
    668. AT-ST soccer games are strictly against Imperial Army protocols.
    676. My character's primary purpose in the party is not to just leech 1/6 of all the XP.
    677. Elves do not have the racial trait: No Gag Reflex.
    679. I do not have time in the Black Ops for break dancing, Greco-Roman Wrestling or phone sex.
    680. My axe doesn't go off accidentally when I'm cleaning it.
    686. My vampire hunter does not take the "un" out of "undead"
    687. I cannot backstab anybody with a Buick Skylark.
    688. Even if the rules allow it, my Paladin cannot have the flaw: Hatred- All living things.
    694. Search the old castle means enter it, not level it with artillery and dig through the rubble.
    696. Any plan involving strapping puppies to my armor is vetoed.
    697. No "accidentally" crosswiring the X-Wing's fire control and ejection seat switches.
    702. The Banana of Disarming is not a real magic item.
    710. My info gathering mission must include info that wasn't obviously obtained in a brothel.
    712. When told to leave a trail for the rest of the party to follow, they didn't mean with cigarette butts.
    720. Don't have to include the line "And then stab them a lot" in the plan; it's already assumed.
    723. If my character is related to a god, it can't be as a parent.
    728. Not legal to retroactively challenge anyone I just shot to a duel.
    729. Cannot take the flaw Obsession: Elf Chick's lingerie.
    734. My character's background cannot be a wikipedia biography with "Falco" crossed off and my character's name written in.
    740. Not allowed to give my character a name from a bushman click language.
    742. Apparently Chaotic Angry and Neutral Hungry aren't real alignments either.
    744. My second wish can't be for a new, more open minded genie to grant my remaining wishes.
    745. Can't wish I was the GM.
    767. When challenged to a high noon shoot-out, that means in the time zone I'm currently in.
    774. If I've leveled up 5 times to the Dragonkin's 0, that doesn't mean I'm lapping him.
    775. My investigator's motto is not "99% Mythos Lore, 1% Sanity- don't push me"
    778. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig.
    781. My tribe's trial by combat ritual is not best described as "Calvinball with axes"
    782. My paladin's job is not to enforce happiness.
    784. Monks do not make 3 Stooges sounds in combat.
    787. "Start a career in modeling" is not an appropriate use of the Suggestion spell.
    788. "You take the scary one" is not our default battle strategy.
    800. The default response to a social challenge in any game is not to just shoot them.
    802. Fake eye spots on my helmets do not help intimidate the monster.
    806. My character cannot have a noticeable impact, positive or negative, on a town's population.
    810. While the party is off searching for secret doors, can't position the slain orcs in compromising positions.
    812. I don't have to take a lower level bard adventuring as my opening act.
    813. Taking the orc warlord's skull as a trophy is acceptable. Not as a hand puppet.
    816. The adventure wrap up is the epilogue. Not Miller Time.
    817. Cannot challenge anyone to a dance off. To the death.
    822. If everybody in the room is in black leather, we're in the thieves' guild. Not a fetish club.
    823. Even if infinitely useful, absolute power over elastics is not an appropriate super power.
    824. The back up trap handler is not the guy with the lowest INT.
    826. Elves do not respond to chainsaws the same ways dogs react to vacuum cleaners.
    835. I cannot lure out the Psycho Killer into an ambush by having sex with another character.
    836. No paraphrasing the party leader's elaborate plan as 'pick somebody you don't like and let them know it.'
    837. Even if the rules allow it, I can't take the 1st Armored Division as an ally.
    845. It's not a good idea to taunt Greek heroes with "Who's your daddy?"
    856. A funeral is not a proper place for setting new fashion trends.
    863. Even if there is no alignment in Traveller, giving feuding TL1 tribes TL12 weapons and putting the results on PPV is just wrong.
    864. My doctor's bag will contain more than just a bonesaw and a bottle of whiskey.
    865. I do not put the cad in decadent, nor the rave in depraved.
    877. Even if I am playing a chick, I can't spend all my starting cash on shoes.
    878. Rifts in the time/space continuum are not for my personal amusement.
    879. Buying a bigger gun does not restore sanity.
    885. Halflings do not store food in their cheeks for winter.
    886. Elves are not deciduous.
    893. Invisibility is all or nothing, can't just target their clothes.
    900. I will not fill the bag of holding with dirt so we can just fill in pit traps as we detect them.
    923. Druids do not hibernate.
    932. Nowhere in the bible does it say ninjas have to line up in a straight line to fight me.
    942. We do not need an elf on this dungeoncrawl for the same reason miners need canaries.
    949. I will not make my castle's halls 9x9x9' to keep out gelatinous cubes.
    950. The ability to give superpowers to characters is acceptable. Naming the character Captain Franchise is not.
    951. The most important stat in Call of Cthulhu is not movement.
    957. Even if it's been more than two hours since we left the bar, the dwarf isn't getting the DT's.
    959. The town drunk is not our one stop source for all mythos happenings in every town.
    962. If I don't have an instrument for my bardic song, an 'air mandolin' won't suffice.
    964. Elves aren't marsupials.
    971. I cannot take the flaw Enemy: Random packs of wild dogs.
    972. "Threesome" is not a specialty of the seduction skill.
    974. If short changed at the Hong Kong deli I will call the manager. Not roll for initiative.
    976. I was not issued a flamethrower for my own personal amusement.
    977. Disable plot device is not a real skill.
    980. As a matter of fact, a 90' tall hostile pineapple is much more terrifying than a dragon.
    981. My last wish cannot be for Ragnarok.
    985. Even if it isn't in the rules, I have to use the same scale miniature as everybody else.
    989. When asked to describe my character, I can leave out the hickies.
    991. "Kiww the Wabbit" is not a proper viking battlecry.
    994. Corporate Pop Whore is not a real prestige class.
    998. The script for the Baywatch movie does not cause more Sanity loss than the Necronomicon.
    1001. No matter how bad the game is going, I won't stradle the table like Slim Pickens riding a bomb.
    1003. I cannot start with an armor class higher than my actual age.
    1004. Not permitted to die from essence loss during character creation.
    1006. If I take the Poison Immunity advantage, that doesn't include Radiation.
    1008. Texans do not get revolvers as a racial weapon proficiency.
    1012. Note to self: Lightsaberchucks...BAD IDEA
    1013. The expressive dance skill is not a substitute for language skills.
    1018. Elves do not get Viking Funerals.
    1020. If we have to add a new PC mid-campaign, he doesn't have to pass a drug test first.
    1022. Can't start the game with 24 hours to live.
    1023. The bluff skill is no substitute for actually knowing the spell.
    1024. Slings make poor thongs. And vice versa.
    1025. If I have two cyberarms, they have to be on different sides.
    1026. My character cannot gain a level through nepotism.
    1028. My character has mastery level in singing. I do not.
    1030. No matter how much he pisses me off, I will not raise the barbarian’s dead mother-in-law.
    1031. Just because my superhero game has 18 stats and yours only has 3, doesn’t mean mine is 6x better.
    1032. Monofilament does not automatically make the world a better place.
    1033. Holding the hand crossbow sideways ‘gangsta style’ does not add to my intimidate check.
    1036. My druid can't summon or change into a skunk. No seriously, it’s not allowed in the rulebook.
    1038. There is no such thing as a Viking Assisted Suicide.
    1040. I can not name my character anything that was suggested by Tom Servo.
    1042. Erasing the compass on the map and redrawing it in reverse does not mean the villain will start building his evil railroad backwards.
    1043. Ninjas do not have a hive mind.
    1045. We will not gut every animal we kill to see if they have treasure inside like in video games.
    1046. We can’t stabilize the dying villain before we make our escape just in case he was a load bearing villain.
    1047. If my troll is the smartest character in the party, the entire party is vetoed.
    1052. I’m not automatically eliminated from the crappy module if I guess the wrong murderer like in Clue. So I should stop making random accusations.
    1054. I will call the elf druid by his real impossibly long elf name, and not just Llanowar Leafblower.
    1055. I will also not simply refer to the elf druid as that dirty, dirty hippie.
    1057. Canadian is not a real language.
    1058. When I get to the custom weapons creation section, I will keep turning those pages.
    1060. I will go into the villain’s lair and take him out the old fashioned way. Not just wait outside his favorite bar with a rifle.
    1063. Even if my character sheet says otherwise, I can’t max out the party with Delta class Cyberware immediately after character generation.
    1066. If the GM’s wife is in the party, I’m not allowed to hunt anything cute.
    1069. I do not have to check before each adventure that my fellow adventurers are not doppelgangers, Cylons or pod people.
    1071. I will go take out the villain’s dungeon the old fashioned way, and not use magic to reroute a river into it instead.
    1072. After rerouting a river through the villain’s lair, I will not pan for gold wherever the river comes out.
    1073. Just because the game left the rules for stun setting grossly unbalanced doesn’t mean I have to take advantage of it.
    1076. When told to dress like a Goth I will make sure with no uncertainty whether they mean black clothes and eyeliner or chainmail and shield.
    1078. If 48 straight hours of pistol whipping doesn’t convince the terrorist to spill his guts, another 48 hours probably won’t either.
    1079. A tattoo gun is not standard equipment in a mapping kit.
    1081. Even if the rules allow it, my sumo wrestler can’t take super human attractiveness.
    1082. There is no such thing as a brothel crawl.
    1083. My IRSAn will not use his powers to help fill out wikipedia articles.
    1085. “Everybody Wang Chung tonight” is not an acceptable use of the Mass Suggestion spell.
    1088. I cannot try and throw large blunt objects at malkavians, kobolds or kender. Or their players.
    1089. Even if the game is a crappy rip-off of World of Warcraft, my character can’t speak in Leet.
    1091. In the middle of a Black Ops, if a character dies I will not disavow knowledge of him until after the mission is over.
    1093. I will not tell the rookies they can roll down their Y-Wing’s windows.
    1094. My wizard does not need to shout out the name of what he’s summoning every time he picks a creature.
    1095. Anything short of adamantine full plate is not considered light armor for dwarves.
    1096. In the middle of a Black Ops I can’t start a major Corpwar just because I’m bored stiff with the current run.
    1097. Even if he used INT as a dump stat, I don’t have to carve ‘this end towards enemy’ on the barbarian’s axe blade.
    1099. After a successful Black Ops, before I’m paid I will not immediately adopt a dozen children for the tax breaks.
    1100. I cannot wish that someone else was an Oscar Meyer weiner.
    1102. 1980’s break dancing moves have their place. In front of the Vodacce prince is not one of them.
    1103. Just because I was paid in advance doesn’t mean I can let the incompetent expedition leader die.
    1105. Even if it is just my character speaking, I will not claim Texas was stolen from Mexico. I will live longer that way.
    1108. Picking his pocket means more than just turning him upside down and shaking him vigorously.
    1109. I will not do anything that Bilbo Baggins hates.
    1116. Add Bulldozers to the list of things vampires are allergic to.
    1119. I cannot have my mercy surgically removed.
    1122. Even if it still give a combat bonus to everybody else, I can’t just stand there and read a comic book behind the villain.
    1124. I will leave out mating rituals when presenting a cultural exchange with diplomatic ambassadors.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 28.07.2008, 17:54


    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (17:50:40 28/07/2008)
    steht das angebot dass ihr mir verkleidung leihen koennt noch?
    Amat (17:50:49 28/07/2008)
    Jo. Und ein Schwert.
    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (17:51:47 28/07/2008)
    da ich ungefaehr unendlich gut schwertkampf beherrsche brauch ich auch nicht mehr :)
    Amat (17:53:06 28/07/2008)
    Sehr gut. Dann musst du mich beschützen.
    Amat (17:53:28 28/07/2008)
    Ich kämpfe so gut, dass ich mich sogar selbst besiege, wenn keine Gegner da sind.
    LaufendesSpaghettiM. (17:54:04 28/07/2008)
    eigentlich brauch ich NUR das schwert, wenn ichs nicht einsetzte bedeckt es mein gemaecht, und wenn ich kaempfe sollte man eh besser auf das schwert achten... :D



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Darkane - 28.07.2008, 19:41


    1060. I will go into the villain’s lair and take him out the old fashioned way. Not just wait outside his favorite bar with a rifle.

    Stimmt eigentlich. Ist euch mal aufgefallen das Bösewichte keine Hobbies haben als einfach nur böse zu sein? Ich mein, was machen Bösewichte zur Entspannung? Ewig nur foltern und böse Pläne schmieden (mit der Gewissheit das doch irgendwann dumme Streber auftauchen um diese zunichte zu machen) muss doch tierisch stressen auf die Dauer. Dazu noch das permanent unfähige Personal (meistens als Gefängniswärter oder Soldaten ohne Überlebenswillen anzutreffen). Wohin fährt Galotta in Urlaub? Wo geht Borbarad mal so richtig saufen? Mit wem spielt Rhazzazor seine Battle-Bäm Partien?
    Und warum lauern wir nicht genau dort auf den dummen Elfenpriester?



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 09.12.2008, 23:14


    Na gut, das lasse ich ausnahmsweise mal stehen. Weiter geht's!

    1126. Cannot start the campaign on fire.
    1133. I cannot be the Bizarro version of another player.
    1139. My weapon is a +3 Flaming Flail. Not my Great Balls of Fire.
    1145. A 2nd level commoner is not twice as common as a 1st level commoner.
    1148. No matter how long his speech is, my sniper will not shoot the speaker introducing the target.
    1150. I will not try to feed the Qin extremely salty food to see if he melts.
    1151. Our mission is to rescue the princess. Not to bring Sexy back.
    1168. I am forbidden from doing anything that makes a passerby flinch.
    1171. I will not send the villain a fake message his mother is coming then attack him while he’s cleaning.
    1172. My brooding costumed vigilante can’t take the flaw Dark Secret: Well Adjusted to Society.
    1181. When asked what game we want to LARP, Frogger is not an option.
    1186. In the middle of a black ops my buttocks is forbidden from making contact with the target’s copy machine.
    1187. It’s okay to feed the Ewok after midnight.
    1192. My last wish cannot be for a cage match between Cthulhu, Godzilla, Galactus and the Tarrasque.
    1205. I can’t have any feat in the main book if the feat is written in pencil.
    1216. I can’t have a gun that treats buildings as light cover.
    1218. Elves do not have to go to the bathroom in groups.
    1222. It's a strangehold. Not an Ogryn neck pinch.
    1225. Having more beer than the enemy doesn’t give me a morale bonus for the mass combat chart.
    1245. Must at least pay lip service to the metaplot.
    1254. We aren’t luring the Arasaka agents out of the safehouse by making ice cream truck noises.
    1255. Splitting the atom at will is not an acceptable super power.
    1256. ‘Ignore the metaplot’ is also not an acceptable super power.
    1257. No, the answer to the problem is not to make a gatling gun out of bazookas.
    1258. Can’t base my character off a smurf.
    1261. If the villain’s three room lair holds over one hundred brutes, can’t just tip off the Fire Marshal.
    1266. I will stop referring to my rogue as a freelance subterranean locksmith.
    1267. The lockpicking kit must be more than a sawed off shotgun.
    1271. There will not be any sex in other player’s battlemechs.
    1275. Will not reanimate dead familiars just to keep them around for sentimental reasons.
    1282. My mad scientist does not get to divide the party into control and test groups.
    1287. Let’s not taunt the minotaur with ‘How appropriate, you fight like a cow’
    1288. I will spend my martial arts technique points on things other than blocking and running away.
    1292. Cannot bribe the target’s HR director to start casual Fridays just to make our upcoming Black Ops easier that week.
    1308. Everybody was not gun-fu fighting.
    1314. Gravity defying breasts, while impressive, do not count as a super power.
    1320. There is no such thing as a Ballista-o-Gram.
    1326. I will not blow all my points on extra limbs just so I can play the superhero “Millipede Man”
    1328. The very concept of a Hutt lap dancer will earn me a dark side point.
    1335. I can not filibuster in the middle of my dying speech to buy the cleric more time.
    1339. If unsure of what side of the road we drive on, the middle of the road is not a healthy compromise.
    1341. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot become famous for not being famous.
    1348. When attempting to lure the giant to sleep with a bardic lullaby, I will leave out the lyric “So we can kill you.”
    1349. I will not program the medical droid for “aggressive dentistry.”
    1353. I will stop trying to get a reality TV show for our Black Ops team.
    1354. We are not going to stall 10,000 Uruk-Hai with a fake tollbooth.
    1361. I will not tell the new players gelatinous cubes come in a variety of yummy flavors.
    1372. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer.
    1383. Portable Plothole is not a real magic item.
    1384. I will not start a Ponzi scheme involving the entire party.
    1390. Having a reputation for having a reputation does not grant me more reputation.
    1401. I will stop shooting at natural disasters.
    1413. Even if the dungeon has only one exit, can't just starve the villain out.
    1420. Doing 50 in a 45 does not cause an alignment check for the paladin.
    1427. It is not a race to 0 SAN.
    1430. If the party goes out like 300, that's cool. Thelma and Louise not so much.
    1453. When the dwarf has an idea, no making the "He's drunk" motion behind his back.
    1454. The paladin does not appreciate us painting his dire tiger green and black.
    1455. Like a cow who goes to the well to often, I will stop speaking only in metaphors.
    1458. The ability to mimic other people's luck powers does not make me a karma chameleon.
    1459. Even if the game is set in 1912, the female characters get a vote on the party's action.
    1463. I will not take Resources 0 and Status 5 and just confiscate money as I need it.
    1465. My sideburns cannot earn their own fear rating.
    1466. I must sing my kids to sleep before the black ops.
    1467. I will not sing other characters' kids to sleep before, during or after the black ops.
    1468. None of the Summon Animal spells will get me the drummer from the Muppets.
    1469. No crossclassing just to get all the different animal sidekicks.
    1471. The party will not enter into a tontine, that just encourages the evil players.
    1480. I will not add the restriction "only to cook eggs" to any of my super powers.
    1490. I will not use the ventriloquism skill to deliver bad news to the Emperor.
    1494. When playing a teleporter, I will buy the ability to actually teleport.
    1495. I not just buy the ability to teleport everybody but me.
    1499. Even if historical accuracy is important in the adventure, I will not become the Nazi Nazi.
    1501. I will not take the mirror image spell literally and just shoot the wizard that's not left handed.
    1502. My first wish can't be to invalidate the previous character's last wish.
    1509. No part of the Constitution is written in invisible ink.



    Re: IRC-Quotes

    Amat - 11.02.2009, 19:46


    <foo> You got to think like a poet.
    <cain> I think you're a cunt.

    <jej> if you dated me, you would've recognized me, and stopped talking to
    me by now.

    <@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie, and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite." Bastards.

    <dilema> acronyms make this world a better place
    <AswethinkweServ> lets have an acronym contest
    <Lisa[NY]> stfu

    Stacy: Raymond is correct.
    Raymond: I always am
    Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
    Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
    Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a number.
    Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?

    <RastaJew> when a girl says she has no new nude pics and you ask for her old ones dont say "the older the better"

    <manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
    <d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
    <munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
    <soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase

    <David> Finally. It works. My Palm is working.
    <schnorks> Now you can hold stuff

    * nailer/#lgl is a chocoholic. But for alchohol :)

    Christoph Römer (DSA (11:01:57 15/04/2009)
    bring das regelbuch mit
    211695915y (11:02:02 15/04/2009)
    jo
    Christoph Römer (DSA (11:02:07 15/04/2009)
    kathrin hat auch eins, dann haben wir drei
    211695915y (11:02:12 15/04/2009)
    Sehr gut.
    Christoph Römer (DSA (11:02:25 15/04/2009)
    der plan ist wir lesen alle regelbuch und corvus spielt alleine



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