Fun stuff !!!

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  • Qualität des Beitrags: 0 Sterne
  • Beteiligte Poster: eddiefever - Idril
  • Forum: NewNativeSpirit Message Board
  • Forenbeschreibung: A place where you can make new friends who are interested in Native American culture and its people
  • aus dem Unterforum: General topics
  • Antworten: 5
  • Forum gestartet am: Montag 31.07.2006
  • Sprache: englisch
  • Link zum Originaltopic: Fun stuff !!!
  • Letzte Antwort: vor 12 Jahren, 2 Monaten, 9 Tagen, 22 Stunden, 57 Minuten
  • Alle Beiträge und Antworten zu "Fun stuff !!!"

    Re: Fun stuff !!!

    eddiefever - 07.03.2007, 22:16

    Fun stuff !!!
    Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Samsung Electronics

    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack ?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack ?"
    Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    RAC Motoring Services

    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
    Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
    "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Directory Enquiries

    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
    "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f%*%*%g stupid to own a computer!!!!!"



    Re: Fun stuff !!!

    eddiefever - 07.03.2007, 22:17



    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart man + smart woman =romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman =marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman=pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.



    Re: Fun stuff !!!

    Idril - 09.03.2007, 17:29


    LMAO :lol:



    Re: Fun stuff !!!

    eddiefever - 18.12.2008, 19:45


    WIFE VS. HUSBAND


    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

    neither of them wanted to concede their position.

    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

    the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."



    CREATION


    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

    so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
    " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!



    WHO DOES WHAT


    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

    and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and

    you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible

    that the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

    and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"



    MARRIAGE SEMINAR

    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?



    The Silent Treatment

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
    other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
    he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
    "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
    and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
    see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
    the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


    God may have created man before woman,

    but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



    Re: Fun stuff !!!

    Idril - 18.12.2008, 20:45


    lmao!!! I love the first and second one! :lol:



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