How to Quit WoW, IN STYLE

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  • Beteiligte Poster: Jackson
  • Forum: Boten des Todes
  • Forenbeschreibung: ZdC Gilde
  • aus dem Unterforum: News
  • Antworten: 1
  • Forum gestartet am: Mittwoch 15.11.2006
  • Sprache: deutsch
  • Link zum Originaltopic: How to Quit WoW, IN STYLE
  • Letzte Antwort: vor 16 Jahren, 3 Monaten, 7 Tagen, 2 Stunden, 49 Minuten
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    Re: How to Quit WoW, IN STYLE

    Jackson - 20.12.2006, 14:06

    How to Quit WoW, IN STYLE
    You've decided to quit Warcraft. Maybe it's because your guild has collapsed and you just don't have the patience to find another. Maybe some recent class balance or imbalance has driven you to stop playing in silent protest. Maybe you've decided to take a hiatus until the expansion as any tangible reward you could receive before then will become obsolete. Maybe you've decided dumping your longtime girlfriend so you could concentrate fulltime on your PvP-grind and secure a new weapon with 10% more DPS wasn’t the best life decision you've ever made.

    The reason doesn't matter, every player eventually stops playing and all of his characters and items cease to exist. Subscription-based MMORPGs are unique in that you can’t just keep a saved game on file and load it back up some drunken night in the future; once you stop making payments, you are locked out cold turkey. However, just because you have made the decision to absolve WoW from your life doesn’t mean you can’t do so in a clever and memorable manner! This guide was written so that you can make the most of your departure and try to justify the countless subscription renewals you’ve flushed down the Warcrack toilet.

    Step #1 - If you are a member of a raid group with any DKP, flush all of it. (If you are a so-called “casual” player, you can ignore this step.) DKP is like wages paid for the job of helping 39 other people defeat computer controlled monsters, and leaving a raid with a significant amount of DKP is like not collecting your last paycheck.

    Bonus points here for particularly extravagant purchases, my personal favorite: one of my friends spent three month’s worth of DKP on an Essence of Pure Flame, a trinket so crappy it normally gets disenchanted.

    Now, you may feel guilty about “taking a (needed) item from the raid”; if you do consider this: why? It’s just a game, and your goal to playing this game should be to have fun. It should not be to help a bunch of strangers you’ve never met gear their characters so they’ll sell on eBay. Whoever gets this item will inevitably quit the game at some point in time (re: first paragraph), so why shouldn’t it be you? However, as sound as this argument is, it may be hard to convince your raidmates. It may be wise to wait until AFTER you spend said DKP to announce your upcoming departure from WoW, just to be safe.

    Step #2 – Expend any gold and consumables you might have. “Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.” Treat yourself to that frivolous enchant you’ve always been eyeing. How many hours worth of Brilliant Wizard Oils do you think you could afford? Ever wish you had an Orb of Deception? Or perhaps you would prefer a nice cache of potions & flasks. Keep in mind: enough consumables can make even blue gear as powerful as epics, and you will want to be as powerful as possible in the last few moments of your WoW career.

    Step #3 – Do some last minute memorable activities. Most players opt to go on a PvP rampage, because other players will actually remember you smiting them even after you’ve stopped playing (as opposed to mobs, who forget you as soon as you clear their aggro list). Feel free to respec to a strict PvP build for this task. Even if you don’t have the best gear on the server or couldn’t afford an array of consumables (Step #2) or aren’t good at PvP or aren’t even 60, don’t feel bad, you can still PvP in a world environment against people of significantly lower levels. True fact: the average player will only care slightly less that you’re ganking lowbees in STV rather than defeating HWLs in an honorable duels. It’s been my experience most PvP “feats” in Warcraft are more about exploiting a statistical disparity between opponents than actual skill, and a HWL in epics ganking 60s in blues is just as fair as a 60 in blues ganking 30s in greens.

    Other players opt for less aggressive activities such as finishing out a particular reputation grind or “visiting” the opposing faction’s capitals, seeing how long they can /carebear until three 60s start corpse-camping them. In actuality, it doesn’t matter what you do here so much as it does that you do it. You just need something to act as the culmination of all your hours of farming.

    Bonus points in this step for commemorating your activities. The media of choice is a movie recorded through Fraps, edited to cut out any scenes that show you in a bad light, dubbed over with a Slipknot soundtrack, and then youtubed for all to see. Don’t feel bad if you can’t do a movie, screenshots, audio recordings of juicy Ventrilo conversations, and even a good verbal description work almost as well.

    Step #4 – Announce your retirement. The best place to do this is on Blizzard’s realm forums. Alternative media include guild forums, IRC, and MySpace. If none of these methods appeal to you, you can always just shout it out in Ironforge. (Bystanders may object to the latter, but what are they going to do? Report you for a ban?) The trick here is to pretend like you don’t know most people that read your message won’t care. Make it as sappy as possible.

    Bonus points for this step are awarded for giving shout outs to all your peeps in your farewell. Tell everyone how great they are and how much fun you had playing with them. Be careful as every person whom you don’t mention will feel left out. Including me. I will be deeply hurt if you don’t credit me for instructing you to properly write out a good bye.

    Step #5 – Stop playing Warcraft. This step is critical, if you screw it up, everything from steps 1 through 4 will have been for naught. Now you’ve got three basic options here. One is to “put your character on ice”—leave him as a permanent decoration on Blizzard’s database. This choice may appeal to you if you have an emotional attachment to your virtual avatar or harbor delusions of coming back to this character in the near future. Another option is to try to sell him. Ebay is the most popular site for this, but a google search will reveal a plethora of alternatives. And the final option is to delete your character outright, preferably after you have D/E’ed all your gear. This is for people that are either trying drastic methods for quitting Warcraft or who enjoy acting like teenage drama queens. If you are extremely emo, you can even document this process in video and append it to your retirement announcement.



    Each step is worth 1 style point, with bonus points being worth 2. If you scored higher than 5, see you back in WoW next month.



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