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Qualität des Beitrags: Beteiligte Poster: Attila Forum: The Rebirth of Forenbeschreibung: Ginungagap aus dem Unterforum: Metal in General Antworten: 1 Forum gestartet am: Mittwoch 20.10.2004 Sprache: englisch Link zum Originaltopic: Various metalheads save princess Letzte Antwort: vor 19 Jahren, 3 Monaten, 8 Tagen, 18 Stunden, 52 Minuten
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Re: Various metalheads save princess
Attila - 20.01.2005, 12:34Various metalheads save princess
I found this in a often by myself frequented forum, don't know if you know it already, just read and have a good time:
This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle
watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles
of metalheads as knights.
POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep
(because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and
kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in
front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood
in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the
dragon.
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead
body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could
never beat him,then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes
he learned in the last year of the conservatory.
The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, somones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
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