Why did the chicken cross the road? (Star Trek version)

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    Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (Star Trek version)

    JabezP - 09.10.2009, 12:39

    Why did the chicken cross the road? (Star Trek version)
    The Question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" was posed to those from the Star Trek Universe....... [Quelle: http://www.trekmania.net/conference/humour.htm ]

    TUVOK: The question is irrelevant, and of no consequence to me.

    THE DOCTOR: I have no idea, I am a doctor, and my program is unresponsive to comedy.

    DATA: I find the premise intriguing, but, have you forgotten, I am an android, and for me, any humourous gesticulation would be a mere simulation.

    WORF: Perhaps is was a good day to die?

    CHAKOTAY: A chicken is a sacred animal to my people. It may have been on a personal quest of enlightenment.

    Q: Please, spare me your pitiful, insignificant ramblings...

    ODO: Hmmm, I'm not sure, but I shall of course investigate immediately.

    NEELIX: What is a chicken, what is a road?

    PICARD: The chicken may have been disillusioned with its quality of life....but as a sentient being, it has every right to cross if it so wishes, damn it! The seventh guarantee defines our personal rights, of both choice, and will. And it is the very essence of this philosophy that establishes its personal imperatives.

    QUARK: It's obvious that it saw more lucrative opportunities for profit on the other side.

    LOCUTUS: A futile manoeuvre, any collision with a car and death is immediate.

    KHAN: Do you know the Klingon proverb and tells us chicken is a dish that is best served cold...?

    DATA: The question is apocryphal, for, in reality the chicken's decision making process would be perfunctory, having no comprehension of the road or its meaning.

    GEORDI: Well, I could calculate the variables by running a holodeck simulation... It will take about three hours to set up, but I'll have to use significant power reserves from the warp engines if I'm gunna make this work...

    O'BRIEN: Hmm, I dunno, I'd hahf to give it some thaht...

    SPOCK: Fascinating. Once again you demonstrate the human obsession for the uniquely trivial.

    SISKO: I don't care about about any damn chickens! Right now I have a station to run, and a Bolian freighter is arriving this morning and Pylon Three is down, so stop wasting my time and return to your post.

    TOMOLAK: Ah yes, chickens....your Federation is certainly at home when it comes to...'chickens'..

    ADMIRAL NORA SATIE: I believe the chicken to be under duress, coerced by sinister forces.

    GOWRON: Driven by the throbbing blood in its veins it yearned for glory! - or an honourable death...

    CAPTAIN DATHON: Shakka, when the walls fell....

    O'BRIEN: (Thoughtful and solemn) I saw a chicken crossing the once on Setlik III....and then I saw them, the cars, moving through the streets, killing, destroying, just hitting everything in sight. And then the chicken, it just...disintegrated in front of me on impact. Took me weeks to get over the experience.

    PULASKI: No, I'm sorry, whatever the reason for crossing is, it just has no chance of negotiating its way across the road safely. It just hasn't got the ability to tap into the unique human perspective.

    ODO: Perhaps it was driven by an unseen force to find its people?

    DATA: Please, you will have to clarify. I have insufficient information with which to form a hypothesis.

    McCOY: For God's sakes. Now the man's talking about chickens!

    THE BORG: Chickens are irrelevant, crossing is futile.

    SAREK: It is difficult to answer, when one does not understand the question.

    BARCLAY: Uh, uh, hmmmm. Yes, I'm uh, hmmm, interesting, yes, mm, I'm, uh, frightened of uh, uh, chickens. Sorry, I, I, have to r r r return to d d duty now...

    DUKAT: Hmmm, I'm sure there is a point to all this Commander, and if there is...it has eluded me....

    TUVOK: The fact that you do not know the answer to your query suggests a lack of mental discipline. There are a number of useful and productive mental excercises available, and I have found them highly useful for relaxing and balancing the mind. Using this technique, I am sure the solution to your query will present itself.

    PICARD: ......Conference.

    THE DOCTOR: I am a Doctor, not a sounding board for your inane repartee.

    LILY AND PICARD: Jean-Luc, the chicken's gunna die........NOOOO..!

    GARAK: Why, that is a fascinating question. Fortunately I still have a number of friends and former associates on Cardassia... Of course it shan't be an easy task to get an answer out of Central Command, but I shall endeavour to make some subtle enquires.

    WORF: If it were any other chicken, I would kill it where it stands....!

    ODO: It may have felt uncomfortable with its own people.

    QUARK: Well, I'm no expert on chickens, but I guarantee it went to great lengths to bribe all that traffic to get across in one piece...!

    NOMAD: Does not compute, does not compute.

    WORF: Chickens were an economical menace, and were considered a mortal enemy of the empire. An entire fleet was sent to seek out their homeworld, and eradicate them.



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