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Qualität des Beitrags: Beteiligte Poster: -Silent-Miltiades - General Forenurl: Klick Forenbeschreibung: Visit our Website aus dem Unterforum: Laugh factory Antworten: 4 Forum gestartet am: Mittwoch 04.01.2006 Sprache: englisch Link zum Originaltopic: U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!! Letzte Antwort: vor 18 Jahren, 15 Tagen, 3 Stunden, 14 Minuten
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Re: U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!!
-Silent-Miltiades - 19.04.2006, 00:30U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!!
A very respected Captain in the Foreign Legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old seedy looking camel tied out behind the enlisted men’s barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "Why is a camel tied to the barracks?" The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do ... uh ... we have the camel ready for them.”
The Captain said, "Well, I suppose if it’s good for morale, then I guess it’s all right with me”. After he had been stationed at the fort for six long, lonely months, the Captain simply couldn’t control his sexual angst any longer. He barked to his Sergeant: "BRING THE CAMEL INTO MY TENT!”
The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders, looked at the other men, and lead the camel into the Captain’s quarters. Within a few minutes, the Captain emerged from his tent, fastening his trousers, almost beaming with pride.
"So, Sergeant, is that how the enlisted men do it?" he asked.
The Sergeant replied, "Well, sir, usually they just use it to ride into town."
Re: U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!!
-Silent-Miltiades - 19.04.2006, 00:32
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!" She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie. "I am Pierre the famous French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!" They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.
Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!" Our hero, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?"
Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre the famous French fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"
Re: U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!!
-Silent-Miltiades - 19.04.2006, 00:34
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....
I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search
the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse
to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake
and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?
just some dumb shit i think about(a cynical mofo,i know!)
p.s. still drunk ,and look - NO CAPS!
4. When people say "it’s always the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found
it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn’t really give me
a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is ’new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, t
hen there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks
"Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass
Re: U NEED A SEARCH WARRANT!!
General - 26.04.2006, 21:52
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
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Weitere Beiträge aus dem Forum Untitled
for furi - gepostet von -Silent-Miltiades am Montag 24.04.2006
dudes - gepostet von -Silent-Miltiades am Dienstag 25.07.2006
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