NewNativeSpirit Message Board

newnativspirit - 17.01.2008, 10:53
Your dreams for the future
we all have dreams for the future. Right now I do have only one:

better times to come!

How long will it take me to make my life a "normal" life? What is a normal life? Everybody has to deal with problems once in a while - I have to deal with problems for over 2 years now all by myself ... I already had problems while I was still together with my ex, but we managed it somehow and we did it TOGETHER! Since I got separated I have to solve all the problems by myself and once I solved one the next is right there - no break - no time to take a deep breath and enjoy life! So my dream is that finally everything will work out and that I can start to live again. I may sound kind of depressed - well, maybe I am - but itŽs just that I was hoping that 2007 will bring some good things and now IŽm hoping 2008 will, after 2007 was a real "problem year". Is this dream to big to come true? No, itŽs not! But itŽs hard to make it come true.
I really try to do my best: be a good mom, make NewNativeSpirit what it should be, find me a new job that does fit with my family life and watch myself more carefully (healthwise) and finally make enough money to pay my bills.

I remember my ex talking about that the men are always the loosers in a divorce. HAHAHA They only have to pay the child support and take care of the kids once in a while ... and thatŽs about it. They just start living a new and better life and what about the women? They are left behind. Most of them have been taking care of the kids and the household and couldnŽt make a job career anymore ... so they invest years of their life to make a common dream come true and in the end they loose everything. ThatŽs how it is in most cases. I only know woman who really have to fight hard to make a living for themselves and their kids.
ItŽs part of my dream, that things like that will change, but it wonŽt! There is a new law in Germany now that supports the men even more. They donŽt have to pay any support for their ex-wives anymore. They can ask them to work and if there are any kids, he can make his parents or even his girl-friend take care of them, so the woman can work. Does this make sense? It will cause a lot of problems with children in future times. If there is a divorce kids already have to deal with so many problems and now they are forced to stay away from their moms, too! It always seems like kids can deal with it pretty good. What choice do they have? They canŽt say that they want to stay with their mom, because they donŽt seem to have any rights! But kids do have rights! And once you become a parent you have responsibility. See, this is so controverse. In the news we had so many reports about kids, that had to die, because nobody took care of them anymore or they even got killed by their own parents. There is no excuse for that !!!! Not at all! Now they want to create a law to protect children! They want kids to grow up in a secure family and even control it in some way. ItŽs a good thing to do - that is for sure. But what is with the kids that are already living in a secure family - even if itŽs only one part of the family? They will be taken out of this family ... to all the momŽs on this board: would you agree with that? Would you let your kids stay with grandparents or girl-friends of your ex and let them raise your kids? I donŽt want this to happen. I want to raise my kids, I want to watch them growing up and see their happy faces as often as possible. Although grandparents do love their grandchildren very much, they are not as close to them as a mom or a dad can be. And I know that I always felt like nothing can happen to me when I was with my parents. I felt safe and happy ...

Does all this make sense to you?

Liadan - 17.01.2008, 16:56

It does make sense. My mother worked her ass off to pay the bills. My father didn't pay anything. I have seen my mother's mental breakdowns because she really didn't know what to do. So I didn't feel very secure in my childhood. But my mother taught me that I can achieve averything if I work hard. But that's not the meaning of live. Just working and hoping that everything will be alright. There should be more support for the families who only have just one parent - no matter why.

I hope that I can finish my studies before they close our courses of study. Today we had a meeting with our dean who told me that we are the most expensive program of study at our university. I don't want to stop out just because of money.
And I want to have a good live, being able to pay bills, no depts and maybe raise a little family.

mouseears89 - 21.01.2008, 07:03

Anne- I'm there for ya girl! My mom was a single mom who worked so much and luckily for me I had two older sisters to take care of me. But still, when you are little, you need your mom and dad. My dad didn't have time for us, for one reason or another, so my mom was both parents at times. To this day, I really respect my mom for what she sacrificed for us, and so does my oldest sister. My middle sister- well, she's having her own problems right now and doesn't think about anyone but herself. But that is just how it goes- not everyone puts others before themselves.

I think your girls and your son, will love and respect you because you are putting them first. That really matters to a child to know how much time their parents want to be involved with them. I've heard it said many times that a man can have it all- a family and a career. But not a woman- her family is her career. I think you should just concentrate on getting healthy right now, and the right job will come later.

Soccer_lady - 01.02.2008, 20:18

Still very angry.... :evil:

Bush: "We never leave the Americans behind, we will help all Americans"

Yeah right....another broken promise. :cry:

How many times do these people have to get hurt?
How much do they want to take away from them?

They've allready lost so much, do they have to loose their lives too??

They are still being treated like dirt, that has to stop!!

mouseears89 - 05.02.2008, 05:34

I'm with you Enelya- I don't like to talk politics because it always seems like it is easy to offend someone. I would like to see more than just the Lakota tribes be focused upon though. At one time there we over 1000 tribes in America before the "explorers" came, what about their traditions and cultures? I understand that the Lakota are the largest population still concentrated in one area, but the other tribes should be given attention too for their plights.

Idril - 05.02.2008, 20:39

The Cree are pretty popular, too. But you're right about the Lakota. Most wars happened in their area, so people find info about the Lakota faster than about any other tribe.

Idril - 05.02.2008, 20:54

That's what I actually wanted to write down but forgit during writing :oops:

newnativspirit - 06.02.2008, 10:55

Going to the pawn shop is every dayŽs life for them !!! Not only for the Lakota people. They bring everything there they could get any money for. And whenever they have enough money they go and buy it back ... I know, because IŽve experienced it. It was interesting.

eddiefever - 08.02.2008, 01:40

newnativspirit wrote: Going to the pawn shop is every dayŽs life for them !!!
while we'd only do it when we're in Dept ,Addicted or at War :!: :!:

how sadning :cry: :cry: