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Qualität des Beitrags: Beteiligte Poster: Andreas - Inga - Korppi - PhiloFoX Forum: Villevalle's World aus dem Unterforum: Fiction ohne Fan Antworten: 13 Forum gestartet am: Sonntag 14.11.2004 Sprache: deutsch Link zum Originaltopic: Julias's Journey [beendet] Letzte Antwort: vor 18 Jahren, 5 Monaten, 13 Tagen, 5 Stunden, 33 Minuten
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Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Andreas - 10.11.2005, 19:55Julias's Journey [beendet]
Folgende Geschichte ist von 1996 und - vermutlich - an manchen Stellen grammatikalisch nicht vollständig korrekt. Ich bitte dies zu entschuldigen! :D
-----
It looked like one of those dark days in autumn when people start to think about the past summer or vasted time; the spindly trees were shaken by a cold breeze chasing away the last green leaves into the sunless sky which seemed to be closer as usual; sometimes a breath of many tiny raindrops touched the window pane, just to fill the colourless monotony with at least a bit of an interesting sound.
Nana loved these days; she used to do long walks through the forest to enjoy the smell of the frozen earth and breathe the icy air that was around her. There was so much to discover when one knew how to look at it.
But this autumn not everything worked the way it had been planed. Just three days ago she was referred to hospital because of appendicitis and was operated on last night. The doctor told her afterwards that she would have to stay here for another three weeks. Well, it seemed as if it was going to be the nicest autumn in her life.
Another few minutes she was dozing on her bed as she then heard somebody knocking on the door. It was Dr Jameson and nurse Kellerman who came in with some kind of a smile on their faces. Nana liked these two people although they could be a bit overbearing. But the way they looked now she could swear that they had something like a problem.
"How are you?", the doctor asked officially friendly.
"I am very hungry!", she said sitting up.
"Maybe in one week you will get light food. You have to be patient up to then.", he replied, before his face became a little more worried. "We ... have something like a problem."
"I thought so." She let herself fall back onto the bed.
"We have a room-mate for you.", nurse Kellerman explained looking even more worried than the doctor.
Nana sat up again. "Where's the problem?"
"The problem is... ", he said slowly, "...that the person doesn't feel very well."
"Who feels well in hospital?", she laughed.
The doctor became totally serious: "She lost her baby."
She had to admit that this was more than she had expected. And she couldn't help but feeling uneasy.
"Would you do us a favour and brighten up her day a bit?", the nurse asked.
"You are one of the patients who feel better, except of your stomach of course. But you could help us a lot if you had an eye on her." Now Dr Jameson looked more than officially friendly, in some way very encouraging, so that Nana finally decided to give it a try.
"Ok... ", she said, "...I'll look after her."
"Thanks a lot! We'll bring her in soon." The two whitecoats rushed out of the room and left Nana alone with her thoughts.
It took almost about twenty minutes till the door was thrown open energetically and in came nurse Henry, goldmedallist in making noise.
"Hi Mam!", he shouted, "here is your new neighbour. This is Julia."
Nana couldn't help but taking a close look at the woman in the sick bed which was now pulled into the room. Her eyes were staring to the ceiling with a look tensed up in nothingness; her shoulders were covered by dark-blonde hair flowing like waves around her gaunt face; somehow it seemed as if she was sleeping or at least not knowing what was going on around her.
Now nurse Kellerman approached in haste who always had a severe eye on Henry. Together they layed her into the bed next to Nana's and covered her up.
"I'm sure you're gonna have a great time!", Henry laughed ringingly.
"It's enough!", nurse Kellerman growled, grabbed for his arm and pulled him out of the room.
When the door was shut Nana lost no time and got out of the bed. Looking for her nicest smile and putting it on thereafter she came over to her new room-mate. "Hallo, I am Nana. I'm glad to have somebody with me. It was a little boring the last days, you know."
Julia's face was incredibly pale; from here Nana could hear her breathing monotonously; and suddenly she felt the urge to know more about this person who now seemed so motionless and lost.
"Well, this room isn't the worst in here.", Nana went on, "You have a nice view to the garden. You can watch the visitors come and go. That can be very interesting."
She sat down back onto her bed. "And the staff here is ok, too, although Henry is a kind of an idiot... " A sudden surprising movement startled Nana; Julia flared up like awakening from a harrowing nightmare. "Will you be quiet!", she hissed angrily before she lay back as if nothing had happened.
Nana didn't know what to say, but maybe this was the best thing to do.
When the evening came Julia hadn't spoken another word. She hadn't even done anything special; Nana wondered if her room-mate would be tired enough to fall asleep, but she herself felt too weak to think this much. Perhaps this autumn was not going to be the nicest in her life but she felt that it was going to be a rather interesting one.
The next morning Nana was busy. There were some tests to be done which took disagreeably long so that it already was lunch time when she came back into her room. Julia looked as if she hadn't moved since this morning and the dainty pancake on her table seemed to be destined to end in the garbage can.
If Nana really hated one thing then it was this disgusting rusk which tasted that stale. And this terrible herb-tea was even worse. She couldn't imagine why she had to stand this because she felt allright today. Maybe somebody wanted to punish her.
When she had eaten the rusk she was still hungry. And she suddenly couldn't help but feeling the strong temptation to stow away Julia's pancake. She wouldn't eat it anyway, so why shouldn't it finally answer its purpose.
Nana stood up and moved carefully towards her room-mate's table. "You aren't going to eat this, are you?", she asked, and Julia's uninterestedness made her grab for the dish and have a great time.
During the afternoon nothing special happened. Nana watched the visitors, wondering if there was anybody wanting to see Julia. But the only beings who entered the room were whitecoats. Later she watched the clouds moving across the sky, until she then noticed that she was feeling sick. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as it felt right now.
But half an hour later it was even worse. The idea of throwing up frightened her. But repressing it was totally useless, so she finally had to rush out of the room into the toilet.
"Well, do you think that we thought that Julia had eaten her lunch?", nurse Kellerman called from outside, "So I hope you've just learned something."
The nurse led her then back into her bed and covered her up. "I'll bring you a cup of tea."
Nana stroked through her tousled black hair. "I don't want that damned tea.", she moaned sufferingly, "don't you have something like a coffee?"
Nurse Kellerman couldn't believe it. "If you want to throw up again you'll have to say it." And resolutely she left the complaining patient alone.
Feeling so much down Nana first didn't realize how Julia got up and then silently disappeared into the hall-way. She came back after nurse Kellerman had served another herb-tea. And although Nana was feeling terribly weak she was sensitive enough to notice how her room-mate wiped her eyes; maybe she had wished to be alone for a while and weep out her grief; and suddenly Nana felt the urge to try again to talk to her.
"Yesterday I talked a little too much, didn't I?", she murmured carefully.
At first Julia took a deep breath and then she said, "I am not angry about that."
"I ... just wanted to be friendly.", Nana went on.
Now her room-mate turned her head around to eye her. "Did they tell you to do so?"
"Not exactly. They said I should have an eye on you."
"Oh I see.", there was some kind of irony in these words, "they think I'm going to kill myself."
Nana preferred to be quiet insted of saying something wrong.
"I wouldn't manage to do it, even if I tried best.", Julia grinned coldheartedly, "I'm the perfect failure, you know."
Maybe the best thing to do was just to listen.
"I havn't managed anything in my life. And then I had the idea to have a baby. Fred didn't like it, but I told him that I had to had it." Her intonation had changed and now revealed just desperation. "He said we wouldn't have enough time and money for the child. And so he left me. I couldn't hold him back by any means. And then I thought that wanting the baby was a mistake because it was so hard to live without Fred. I was adicted to him. And sometimes when I couldn't sleep at night I caught myself wishing that the child would never be born." Now she was close to tears. "Losing the baby was my own fault, you know."
Nana had to do something. "Are you crazy?", she whispered, "It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was.", Julia started again to look up to the ceiling. "I see no sense in living any more."
"You have to try to find one.", Nana answered, "I mean, is there really nothing you want to do?"
Her room-mate looked the way she had done the whole day. She neither wanted to cry nor to simply listen.
"Refusing to talk won't help you.", Nana shouted, but it was senseless; the chance to learn more about Julia was already gone.
When it was time to sleep Nana again felt better. But now she couldn't stop thinking; Julia seemed totally lost, and without help she wouldn't find back into life; Nana knew that she had to do something, but not too much; she just wanted to open the door which Julia had to pass ...
And then she had this tremendous idea ...
Later at night when she was sure that Julia was already sleeping she got up silently and slinked over to her neighbour; she sat down next to her, layed her left hand onto her room-mate's eyes and started to whisper, "Julia! Don't stop sleeping, Julia!"
* * * * *
She found herself awakening from some kind of a dream, not knowing when it was; it seemed to be dark around her and there were awkward sounds; she also felt something touching her hair but she couldn't imagine what it was; this whole place was totally strange to her; but if she just had woken up this had to be the reality; she had to know where she was.
It took a while before she could see more; there was a forest of tall and grey tree trunks; it seemed to be night and she was wearing her dark-blue coat which she used for doing walks; it was cold; she suddenly started to shiver; those awkward sounds were thousends of raindrops coming down from the black sky.
What did she do here? Now she was aware that she was lying in the wet grass. She got up quickly. Where was she? What kind of place was this? A few moments ago she had been in hospital ...
The hospital! Now she could remember everything that had happened before. She had been referred to hospital because of severe problems during her pregnancy which finally caused the loss of her baby. But where was she right now?
Now she realized that her hair was getting wet from the rain. She had to find a place to take shelter. When she was looking around she found a little house not far from the edge of the forest. She lost no time and started to run. It took not long till she reached it. There was a small recess in the wall not far from the door where she hid.
There she was in a place where she'd never been before. But she was sure that this wasn't a dream. So what was going on? Thinking back to the hospital she suddenly had this frightening idea that she maybe had killed herself. It wasn't the very best explanation for what was going on but it was at least possible.
Then she took fright of a sudden noise. The door was opened and somebody came out of the house. It was a woman who then switshed on a torch to find Julia one moment later huddled up in the recess.
"What are you doing here?", she asked.
"Sorry Mam, it was cold and... ", Julia stuttered blushingly, "... I wanted to take shelter somewhere... "
The woman came closer. "My goodness, ", she said, "you look extremely pale. I think the best for you is to come in."
She grabbed for Julia's arm and led her into the little house. Here it was warm and comfortable. Two big easy-chairs were standing around a fire-place, and she could hear the cracking of the burning wood.
"My goodness, you are totally wet.", the woman said after she had closed the door, "Take off your coat. I'll bring you a towel."
She seemed to be a rather polite person. But Julia began to lose the interest in her as the memories back to the hospital became stronger. The only thing she really wanted to know was where she was.
Now the stranger came back with a really large towel in her hands. And suddenly Julia was startled; she couldn't imagine when or where it was but she was sure that she had seen this person before; she was at an age of about fortyfive years and had this kind of a friendly smile one couldn't forget; but the most frightening thing was that Julia didn't manage to remember who the person was.
"Why don't you take a seat?", she then asked and led her over to those easy-chairs where they both sat down.
A short while had past without something happening. But then the woman said, "I have an idea. I'll make you some coffee and you tell me what you have done outside."
When she stood up and went over to the kitchen Julia took a time to think about it. She didn't know how she had come to that horrible forest and why she had been lying on the ground. It somehow looked as if she had lost her brain. But then the question was how this had happened.
The stranger came back and gave her a cup of coffee. "Now, just tell me everything.", she said.
Julia didn't know how to start. "I don't know everything. It seemes that I've lost my brain."
"This sounds plausible the way you look like.", the woman replied. "So why don't you tell me what you still know."
"I was in hospital because I had problems with my pregnancy." Julia watched her raising her brows. "I was in a room with another girl who couldn't help but talking the whole day. In the evening she felt sick, and later on I told her what had happened to me. I didn't know if she was listening to me and somehow I didn't care about it."
"You didn't care about it?", the woman interrupted, "Didn't you like her?"
"I didn't care if I liked her. ", Julia got a little angry. "I didn't care about anything."
"You said you had problems with your pregnancy.", the stranger went on, "But you don't look very pregnant."
"I lost my baby."
"Oh I see, ", she murmured leaning back, "you lost your baby and then you didn't care about anything."
"In deed, ", Julia answered ironically, "so would you please tell me if this is the antechamber of hell?"
"What?"
"Would you please tell me if I killed myself?"
"No no, ", the woman laughed, "this is planet earth, and you are quite alive, girl."
"Don't call me girl. I can't stand that!", now Julia was completely angry.
"Do you think losing your baby is worth killing yourself?"
Julia got up furiously. "You don't know anything.", she shouted with tears in her eyes, "it was my own fault. I wished the baby would disappear!"
"Will you be quiet and sit down!", the woman hissed, "calling yourself a perfect failure won't help you. You have to do something about it."
Julia was startled again. "How do you know that?", she asked shyly.
"Listen, ", the stranger replied, "when I was at your age I was in hospital, too. And I felt very much the way you do now. But there was a person who helped me, my room-mate. She was very clever in convincing me that there still was a sense in living. So please, answer the following question! Is there really nothing you want to do?" She seemed to wonder a bit. "How about, for example, ... writing poetry?"
"Well ..."
"Didn't the teacher in the literature course tell you that your stuff was worth to be published.", she came closer, frightening Julia with her familiar face.
"How do you know about my literature course?"
"Answer my question!", the woman shouted.
"Who the hell are you?", Julia couldn't answer anything, "how do you know these things about me and why can't I remember who you are?"
The woman waited a few second, before she whispered, "Because I am you! The only difference is that I am twenty years older than you. Wellcome to the future!"
Julia suddenly started to shiver because of a strong feeling of desorientation; identifying the woman as an alter ego she got at the edge of paranoia, stuttering something she couldn't understand herself and feeling extremely cold, but the other person pushed her back into the easy-chair.
"This room-mate I told you about, ", the woman explained, "was Nana. She sent me - I mean you - into the future to meet me - I mean - well, you know what I mean. She is giving you the chance to see what will happen to you if you awaken from your monotony."
"And what will happen?", Julia said intonationlessly.
"Oh, I won't tell you everything.", her alter ego answered, "But you should try to do something with your poetry."
Julia suddenly felt the need to embrace the woman to have the being of the future close in her arms. And then she whispered, "Don't worry, I won't kill myself."
"I know.", the woman said.
After a silent while had past Julia was again able to speak. "How do I get back into the present?"
"Oh, that's very easy.", her alter ego explained, "you have to fall asleep."
"That can be hard sometimes.", Julia breathed.
"As far as I can remember, ", the woman spoke, "I was very tired on the night I met myself."
* * * * *
Nana woke up by a terrible noise. It sounded like dishes falling onto the floor. When she was looking around she finally discovered nurse Henry collecting the fragments of a cup.
"By the way, it's time to wake up!", he shouted.
Nana immediately eyed her room-mate who seemed to be coming back. At night she had moved a lot, and it had been real good luck that nobody had come in. Later on, when she had become quiet Nana had gone to sleep.
Nurse Henry rushed out of the room. Nana lost no time and went over to Julia who now was awakening.
"How do you feel?", Nana asked carefully.
Julia blinked. "Where am I?", she breathed.
"You are back where you belong.", Nana explained.
Her room-mate sat up. "I see.", she murmured streching herself, "how did you manage to do this?"
"Well... ", she had expected this question, "...I can tell you that it is not very easy. You have to be sensitive in a certain way."
Julia smiled, "But how did you know about my poetry?"
"Oh, I didn't.", Nana answered, "Did you talk about poetry?"
"Yes we did - I mean, I did.", Julia said.
"The only thing that you have to keep in mind is that you have to be in that place in twenty years.", Nana went on, "I'll show you where it is when they let us go again."
"Ok!", Julia smiled.
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Inga - 10.11.2005, 21:34
Whow. Eine ziemlich gute Idee.
Sag, warum schreibst du in Englisch? Und schreibst du öfter und mehr?
Also mir gefällt das hier, allerdings würde ich heute sicherlich keine Geschichte von mir aus dem Jahre 1996 "veröffentlichen"... also das... wundert mich... Krass.
Hm. Ich muss sagen, das ist ein recht gutes Englisch, zumindest in meinen nicht allzu geübten Englischaugen... Schöner Wortschatz, sehr angenehm und bildreich, keinen Moment trocken oder langweilig (oder liegt das am Regen? :D )
Ich finde die Idee, einen verzweifelten, zukunftsängstlichen Menschen seinem eigenen zukünftigen Ich gegenüberzustellen, sehr aufbauend... *auchwill*
Das ist ne ziemlich interessante Therapiemaßnahme, die allerdings wohl nur dann wirkt, wenn die Zukunft besser aussieht als die Gegenwart.
Ich muss jedoch gestehen, dass ich noch nicht so ganz kapiert habe, wie genau Nana das gemacht hat, aber vll denk ich nochmal drüber nach.... Man muss ja auch nicht alles verstehen.. also ich meine logisch nachvollziehen.
Sonst wär's ja nur halb so geheimnisvoll...
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Andreas - 10.11.2005, 21:50
Hallöchen Inga! :)
Inga hat folgendes geschrieben: Whow. Eine ziemlich gute Idee.
Sag, warum schreibst du in Englisch? Und schreibst du öfter und mehr?
Danke Dir! :)
Also, diese Geschichte ist im Rahmen eines Englischkurses namens "Creative Writing" entstanden. Das Ziel des Kurses war, den Teilnehmer/inne/n zu ermöglichen, Literatur auf Englisch zu verfassen, um so einen andersartigen, neuen Zugang zu dieser (Fremd-)Sprache zu finden. Ich habe den Kurs sehr genossen, muß ich sagen. Normalerweise schreibe ich aber nicht auf Englisch.
Öfter: Ja.
Mehr: Ja. :D
Inga hat folgendes geschrieben:
Also mir gefällt das hier, allerdings würde ich heute sicherlich keine Geschichte von mir aus dem Jahre 1996 "veröffentlichen"... also das... wundert mich... Krass.
Tja... Das hat den Hintergrund, daß meine Energie zum Schreiben in den letzten Jahren etwas nachgelassen hat. Von daher sind auch noch die Sachen aus den Mittneunzigern einigermaßen repräsentativ.
Inga hat folgendes geschrieben:
Hm. Ich muss sagen, das ist ein recht gutes Englisch, zumindest in meinen nicht allzu geübten Englischaugen... Schöner Wortschatz, sehr angenehm und bildreich, keinen Moment trocken oder langweilig (oder liegt das am Regen? :D )
Doch, das liegt am Regen, ganz sicher! :D
Inga hat folgendes geschrieben:
Ich finde die Idee, einen verzweifelten, zukunftsängstlichen Menschen seinem eigenen zukünftigen Ich gegenüberzustellen, sehr aufbauend... *auchwill*
Das ist ne ziemlich interessante Therapiemaßnahme, die allerdings wohl nur dann wirkt, wenn die Zukunft besser aussieht als die Gegenwart.
Ich muss jedoch gestehen, dass ich noch nicht so ganz kapiert habe, wie genau Nana das gemacht hat, aber vll denk ich nochmal drüber nach.... Man muss ja auch nicht alles verstehen.. also ich meine logisch nachvollziehen.
Sonst wär's ja nur halb so geheimnisvoll...
Also, DAS wird NIE verraten. :D
Nein, das weiß nur Nana höchstselbst ... :)
Danke Dir für den netten Kommentar!
Grütze
Andreas
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Korppi - 10.11.2005, 22:19
Isch les das mal morgen, bin heute nicht in der Lage, noch irgendwas aufzunehmen, anteeks...
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Inga - 10.11.2005, 22:26
Andreas hat folgendes geschrieben: Also, DAS wird NIE verraten. :D
Nein, das weiß nur Nana höchstselbst ... :)
Um Himmels Willen, verrat das bloß nicht, so war es nun wirklich nicht gemeint! Wenn du Zeit und Lust findest, dich grad hier in der Ecke ein bisschem umzulesen, wirst du auch merken, dass ich sicherlich kein Verfechter der Leseraufklärung bin.
Ich liebe verwirrende Geschichten, die zum Grübeln anregen.
Danke für die Erklärung fürs Englische. Irgendwie sowas.. kA, frag bitte nicht, wieso, hatte ich schon so im Gefühl... wahrscheinlich wegen der Jahreszahl oder so, weils schon so lange her ist.
Kriegen wir hier mehr von dir zu lesen?
Bin ein Lesemonster! :troll: ;D
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Andreas - 10.11.2005, 22:47
Inga, ja sicher, grundsätzlich gerne, ich habe nur jetzt eine peinliche Frage: Ich habe vorhin nicht so genau aufgepaßt: Kann man denn hier jetzt alles schreiben, oder ist der Bereich primär für Fanfiction über Ville reserviert? :? :grübel:
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Inga - 10.11.2005, 23:14
Andreas hat folgendes geschrieben: Inga, ja sicher, grundsätzlich gerne, ich habe nur jetzt eine peinliche Frage: Ich habe vorhin nicht so genau aufgepaßt: Kann man denn hier jetzt alles schreiben, oder ist der Bereich primär für Fanfiction über Ville reserviert? :? :grübel:
Neinnein, du kannst hier schreiben, was du willst. Und ich glaub, hier sind auch 'ne Menge Leute, die durchaus sehr sehr gerne was anderes lesen als FanFiction. (über Ville.... sowieso... also... *räusper* Wer ist eigentlich Ville? *abduck*)
Im Grunde steht das auch im Titel ... "was man sonst so schreiben kann" ... offener geht es wohl kaum, oder?
Falls du hier was schreibst, pass halt nur auf, dass du keine allzu bösen Sachen schilderst... ;D Wie ja auch im "Untertitel" steht... *ditsch* Ich hab hier eigentlich gar nichts zu sagen, aber ich sag trotzdem mal was.... :D
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
PhiloFoX - 11.11.2005, 01:36
Öhm... Inga... ich möchte mal nicht unterschlagen wissen, dass hier doch ein paar sehr schöne villehaltige Fictions stehen, auch noch drei in Arbeit, wenn ich das richtig seh...
Aber damit, dass wir auch gern was anderes lesen, hast du natürlich recht!
Also immer her damit, lieber Andreas!
Ich bin jetzt ein bisschen zu müde, um deine wie ich aus Ingas Kommentar entnehme sehr spannende Geschichte zu lesen, aber morgen wird sich das geändert haben, versprochen!
vielleicht magst du ja mal in meine reingucken...? :/
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Inga - 11.11.2005, 13:40
PhiloFoX hat folgendes geschrieben: Öhm... Inga... ich möchte mal nicht unterschlagen wissen, dass hier doch ein paar sehr schöne villehaltige Fictions stehen, auch noch drei in Arbeit, wenn ich das richtig seh...
Jajaja, du hast ja Recht. Ich wollt hier niemanden unterschlagen oder sowas. Vielleicht nur kundtun, dass ich die Geschichten nicht wegen des Kerls lese, sondern wegen ... naja, weil es eben schöne Geschichten sind. Um so darauf zu lenken, dass es ganz unwichtig ist, um wen es in der Geschichte geht oder so... Sorry, ich vergesse immer zu schreiben, was ich denke. :D
Also nichts gegen den Kerl, so isses nicht gemeint....
Und irgendwie labern wir OT... *rausschleich*
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Andreas - 11.11.2005, 19:48
Inga & PhiloFX, wo, d.h. bei welchem Thread fängt man am besten mit Euren Geschichten an zu lesen? :grübel: :)
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
PhiloFoX - 11.11.2005, 20:16
Bei Inga kommt es darauf an, ob du zuerst die sehr zu empfehlende Sehnsucht lesen willst, die ist fertig, oder Deep Silent Complete, die gerade in Arbeit ist. Du kannst also entweder bei 'Sehnsucht Teil 1' oder 'Deep Silent Complete Part 1- Swanheart' anfangen.
Bei meiner bei 'Gia's Story I, 1992-1993. Starting a Legend.' Ignorier die Vorrede, die steht da, weil ich Teil II zuerst geschrieben und gepostet, dann aber aufgehört und eine Alternative angefangen habe, die dann aber blöd war. So, wie es jetzt dransteht, ist die offizielle Reihenfolge. Du kannst aber theoretisch auch mit Teil II anfangen, der beginnt spannender...
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
PhiloFoX - 12.11.2005, 00:36
Ich mach mal keinen edit, damit du siehst, dass ich kommentiert habe!
Also:
1. Dein Englisch ist durchaus gut, vielleicht nicht perfekt, aber wer hat das schon als nicht Native Speaker.
2. Stimme ich Inga darin zu, dass du eine schöne bilderreiche Sprache hast und es nicht am Regen liegt.
3. Hast du einen irgendwie netten Humor (we have something like a problem).
4. Finde ich deine Beschreibung von Julias Erscheinung, als sie in den Raum gefahren wird, sehr zu Herzen gehend.
5. Sind die Ärzte da ganz schön krass drauf.
6. Ist Nana ein sehr... mitfühlender Mensch. Ich weiß nicht... ich glaube, ich hätte weitaus schneller aufgegeben, und ich hätte sie auch nicht angeschrieen, um ihr zu sagen, dass Schweigen nichts bringt.
Das soll aber keine Kritik sein, wenn überhaupt, dann an mir. ;D
7. Bin ich gerade total verwirrt von dem eigentlichen Plot, Julias Reise in die Zukunft... das ist die umgekehrte Struktur von Terminator, ungefähr. So was bringt mich immer sehr durcheinander.
Eine tröstliche Idee auf jeden Fall. Man stelle sich vor, da kommt dein alter ego von in zwanzig Jahren und sagt dir, du wirst glücklich sein- tja, wer bringt sich denn dann noch um?
Schöne Idee. Wenn ich mir ansehe, was ich 1996 geschrieben habe, fress ich meine rechte Hand, damit ich sowas nie wieder tun kann.
Dankeschön für diese anregende, so angenehm geschriebene Geschichte!
Ich freu mich schon auf die andere.
Re: Julias's Journey [beendet]
Korppi - 17.11.2005, 13:06
Andreas hat folgendes geschrieben: oder ist der Bereich primär für Fanfiction über Ville reserviert? :? :grübel:
Also, wenn du damit auf den Ville anspielst, nach dem das Forum benannt ist... so eine Villefanfiction würde ich gerne mal lesen.
Btw kommt der Ville in einer vor, aber ich bezweifle, dass ihn außer der Autorin und einer bestimmten Leserin irgendwer erkannt hat.
Und wenn wir hier schon für unsere Geschichten werben:
meine darfst du auch gerne lesen, ich würde dir "The Cage" empfehlen von den neueren, "Victoria's Secret" ist glaube ich eher ne Mädchengeschichte.
Und nun zu deiner Geschichte:
Eigentlich ist ja schon alles gesagt. Dein Englisch gefällt mir, auch wenn man den deutschen Ursprung sehen kann. Jedenfalls ist er mir aufgefallen, aber mach dir keine Gedanken, ich kann es auch nicht besser.
Die Vorstellung von der Zukunftsperson ist sehr interessant, aber ich würde meine nicht treffen wollen.
Und nun ein typischer Nina: warum ist jemand nach ner BlinddarmOP in einem Zimmer mit jemandem, der sein Baby verloren hat? Interessante Theorie. Sollten Krankenhäuser echt machen, so auf Entbindungsstationen (da leigen bei uns die, die kurz davor sind, ihr Baby zu verlieren - auch schon gelegen hab und daher weiß) geht man sich mit dem Gejammer gegenseitig auf die Nerven.
Klasse Problemlösung!
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