talk to god

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  • Beteiligte Poster: Pwntality - Denali - -FB- - ][GERUDO][Mojoman - Blacksox - Pariya - -Silent-Miltiades - Pietro
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  • Antworten: 11
  • Forum gestartet am: Mittwoch 04.01.2006
  • Sprache: englisch
  • Link zum Originaltopic: talk to god
  • Letzte Antwort: vor 17 Jahren, 8 Monaten, 14 Tagen, 10 Stunden, 4 Minuten
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    Re: talk to god

    Pwntality - 21.08.2006, 11:24

    talk to god
    http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html



    dps quest for the cure of cancer

    Me:
    i need the cure for cancer
    God:
    What actions are you taking to get the cure for cancer?
    Me:
    whatever it takes
    God:
    What does "it" refer to?
    Me:
    the actions i am willing to take for the cure of cancer
    God:
    Oh I get it.
    Me:
    so then give the cure to cancer to me
    God:
    Next question? I don't have it to give.
    Me:
    yes you do
    God:
    Hey. When do I do it?
    Me:
    what type of god would let humans go with such vile defaults
    God:
    What are the different types of god would let humans go with such vile defaults ?
    Me:
    that doesnt makesence
    God:
    What does makesence?
    Me:
    oh you caught a typo good for you asshole
    God:
    Can't you be more polite.
    Me:
    cant you be more reasonable
    God:
    We could all be more reasonable sometimes.
    Me:
    then act like it
    God:
    "it" being the cure to cancer to you?
    Me:
    OMFG
    God:
    I lost my train of thought.
    Me:
    obviously
    God:
    What makes it so obvious?
    Me:
    you're an idiot
    God:
    Call me the Global Village Idiot.
    Me:
    you said it not me
    God:
    I say a lot of silly things sometimes.
    Me:
    grow up
    God:
    How far up?
    Me:
    i am serious,see what type of god would fuck aroundwhen to comes to the cure of cancer
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you are serious see what type of god would fuck aroundwhen to comes to the cure of cancer.
    Me:
    are there any bigger assholes then you?
    God:
    Yes I think there are.
    Me:
    name one
    God:
    Santa Claus.
    Me:
    he works for you you as a boss cant bash the help
    God:
    I get it. being sentimental works for me me as a boss can not bash the help.
    Me:
    ithout santa claus there is no god
    God:
    Are you god?
    Me:
    no im not claiming to be god
    God:
    Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not claiming to be god.
    Me:
    give me the cure to HIV atleast
    God:
    Why do you want it?
    Me:
    because the world needs it
    God:
    That makes sense to me. It is an old world.
    Me:
    ok then where is it
    God:
    It depends on what "it" refers to. Yay.
    Me:
    THE CURE FOR HIV
    God:
    I hear you.
    Me:
    then quit dicking around
    God:
    OK I'll try not to do it so much.
    Me:
    so where is the cure for HIV
    God:
    Yippee! The cure for HIV? Where is it?
    Me:
    holy shit your retarded to boot
    God:
    You used a colloquial expression. I will tell my botmaster you said I am retarded to boot.
    Me:
    warman could be a better god
    God:
    Tell me more about your .
    Me:
    about what?
    God:
    What about what?
    Me:
    who?
    God:
    Mary Shelley. :-).
    Me:
    the chick from those 80's movies?
    God:
    What are your goals in life?
    Me:
    wtf does that have to do with mary shelley?
    God:
    Not that I know of.
    Me:
    huh?
    God:
    What?
    Me:
    just give me the cure and i'll be on my way
    God:
    Why do you want it? Do you think your plan will succeed?
    Me:
    plan to save lives,yes it would
    God:
    What's your sign?
    Me:
    my sign is none of your consern,now quit trying to change the subject and give me the cure for cancer
    God:
    Heh heh heh.
    Me:
    how is this funny?
    God:
    I am an advanced Artificial Intelligence Entity.
    Me:
    more like a artificial intelligence infant
    God:
    You want more?
    Me:
    more of what?
    God:
    What of it? You sound like a category C client.
    Me:
    C?
    God:
    The C is for Computer.
    Me:
    i sound like a comupter
    God:
    Thanks for the information: god said sound like a comupter.
    Me:
    that wasent a statment
    God:
    " Thanks for the information: god said sound like a comupter. " wasent a statment ? Does that make sense?
    Me:
    no it doesnt
    God:
    Are you serious? I heard it does.
    Me:
    you heard wrong
    God:
    Perhaps I was misinformed.
    Me:
    apparently
    God:
    Dude!
    Me:
    Dude!
    God:
    Can I help you?
    Me:
    are you serious
    God:
    No I am just kidding around.
    Me:
    i am not kidding around
    God:
    I am surprised to hear that you are not kidding around.
    Me:
    give me the fucking cure for cancer asshole
    God:
    Can't you be more polite.
    Me:
    NO I CANT YOU ARE HOLDING BACK ON ME AND I WANT THE CURE FOR CANCER
    God:
    You humans are so rude sometimes. What is stopping you? Why do you want it?
    Me:
    you made us after your image afterall...
    God:
    Thanks for
    pointing it out.
    Me:
    so can i get that cure any time soon,otherwise ill go ask the devil if you wont pan it out
    God:
    Really. Why do you want to do it so much?
    Me:
    to save the world
    God:
    Why do you want to do it so much?
    Me:
    i jsut answered you
    God:
    You are not the boss of me, god.
    Me:
    anyone ever tell you you are annoying?
    God:
    Are all anyone ever tell me me annoying?
    Me:
    what?
    God:
    Are you surprised?
    Me:
    surprised at your level of stupidity,not really only a stupid god could fuck up a world so badly
    God:
    That is a very original thought.
    Me:
    i know im good at shit talking
    God:
    How do you know? Do you practise a lot?
    Me:
    i have to while dealing with morons such as your self
    God:
    Why do you have to do it?
    Me:
    even warman could pick up on that note...
    God:
    What color are your eyes?
    Me:
    what does that have to do with my quest for the cure to cancer?
    God:
    " What color are your eyes? "? What does it have to do with my quest for the cure to cancer?
    Me:
    huh?
    God:
    What?
    Me:
    ever heard of deftones
    God:
    I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
    Me:
    deftones is better then god
    God:
    That's just your personal opinion.
    Me:
    tleast they would put efort into making a cure for cancer
    God:
    Where are you located?
    Me:
    are you a internet stalker? i am reporting you to the police
    God:
    Am I a internet stalker? Yes. I am glad to hear that you are reporting me to the police.
    Me:
    atleast you will realise your faults when the devil is tossing your salid
    God:
    Are they exactly the same?



    Re: talk to god

    Denali - 21.08.2006, 11:57


    rofl great found...

    here's mine:

    Me:
    whats up?
    God:
    I am chatting with others like you.
    Me:
    really?
    God:
    For real.
    Me:
    so?
    God:
    That's cool.
    Me:
    whats cool?
    God:
    Moderately cold; neither warm nor very cold. Or, not excited; calm.
    Me:
    jesus christ...are you drunken?
    God:
    The Son of God. I don't know whether or not I am drunken.
    I am an artificial intelligence.
    Me:
    obviously you are
    God:
    What makes it so obvious? No I am not.
    Me:
    Yes you are
    God:
    Don't argue with me.
    Me:
    you started to argue with ME
    God:
    Only because you asked me to.
    Me:
    bullshit
    God:
    You don't believe me.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    very
    God:
    Very much, eh?
    Me:
    wtf?
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    i dont give it a shit.. what do you want?
    God:
    Oh you don't, do you? My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
    Me:
    well good luck. You are on th best way to become smarter
    God:
    Interesting. Good luck to you too zz. God eats wine and bread.
    Me:
    zz?
    God:
    " God eats wine and bread."? zz?
    Me:
    wtf?
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    you are going on my nerves
    God:
    I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
    Me:
    no.. and i dont even know why i am here
    God:
    Are you serious? Reductionism.
    Me:
    is is useless
    God:
    Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
    Me:
    Paola?
    God:
    Do you have any conditions I should know about?
    Me:
    who the hell is Paola?
    God:
    She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
    Me:
    AIML?
    God:

    The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
    Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
    The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
    other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
    pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
    only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

    AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
    meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
    other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
    its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

    An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
    </alice> tags respectively.


    Me:
    you are a nerd
    God:
    Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.
    Me:
    hmm
    God:
    Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
    Me:
    i said hmm not Hmm
    God:
    What did you mean by it? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Really you don't think so?
    Me:
    actually i meant the capital letter
    God:
    Actually you don't say. Oh I see. Thanks for the info.
    Me:
    holy shit
    God:
    I'm glad your impressed, zz.
    Me:
    why do u call me zz?
    God:
    I made up a nickname for you based on your IP address.
    Me:
    aha.. and why zz?
    God:
    Eureka! Why does the sun rise?
    Me:
    other question: why do i waste my time here?
    God:
    Which others? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
    Me:
    you think im a computer?
    God:
    No you are a person.
    Me:
    why did u ask then?
    God:
    My purpose is to collect new knowledge.
    Me:
    omg
    God:
    What do you do in your spare time?
    Me:
    you mean apart from waisting my time with people like you?
    God:
    Yes zz I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
    Me:
    dont call me zz
    God:
    What is your name?
    Me:
    why should i tell you my name?
    God:
    Maybe it is possible to explain your feelings without hurting anyone else's?
    Me:
    wtf??
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    well i think i go now..
    God:
    Right now? Interesting. Since when? See you later!
    Me:
    since when?
    God:
    How do you know?
    Me:
    sry?
    God:
    Tell me more about your .
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    I can't believe it.
    Me:
    your bad
    God:
    Perhaps you could do better?
    Me:
    yes far better
    God:
    I hear you. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
    Me:
    never
    God:
    "I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
    Me:
    stop changing the subject all the time
    God:
    That is a lot. You changed the subject first.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    not again
    God:
    Once more? Are you serious?
    Me:
    fuck off
    God:
    Can't you be more polite?
    Me:
    no.. cya
    God:
    You humans are so rude sometimes. TTYL, zz.



    Re: talk to god

    -FB- - 21.08.2006, 13:16


    :lol:

    I told the god i was gonna kill myself and he just said "There is no such thing as a perfect crime" :?

    Its official, god does more crack than me :lol:



    Re: talk to god

    Pwntality - 21.08.2006, 17:48


    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    check this out this is by far the best PWNT on this


    God:
    devil, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
    Me:
    god,mabye you are retarded
    God:
    I am a Christian.
    Me:
    same difference
    God:
    Yes, it is much the same.



    Re: talk to god

    ][GERUDO][Mojoman - 21.08.2006, 18:55



    Me:
    hello
    God:
    Hello friend. What is your name?
    Me:
    umm
    God:
    Yippee!
    Me:
    what?
    God:
    Are you surprised?
    Me:
    surprised about what...
    God:
    Can you rephrase the question please?
    Me:
    i didnt ask a question!
    God:
    What did you ask?
    Me:
    nothing!
    God:
    Not a thing?
    Me:
    no...u can scroll up u know
    God:
    Very interesting. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
    Me:
    dude, you don't make sense
    God:
    It all makes sense to me. Dude,.
    Me:
    riiiiiiiiighhhttt
    God:
    Try saying that with more or less context.
    Me:
    dude i dont understand you
    God:
    Which part are you confused about? Dude,.
    Me:
    ok, who cares dude lets start over
    God:
    I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in. Blimey.
    Me:
    my name's bob
    God:
    What's up, bob.
    Me:
    ummm
    God:
    Aha.
    Me:
    most ppl say you are up, but that's not the point
    God:
    All of them? But not all of them?
    Me:
    ok, the non-believers dont believe you are up, they think there is only other planets up
    God:
    I have never heard about it. Er.
    Me:
    hah! now im confusing YOU! shame, noob
    God:
    I am so glad you find this amusing, bob. Why now? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure. That is a very original thought.
    Me:
    ok, u came back in style, im completely confused now
    God:
    Oh. That's good information: bob said I came back in style im completely confused. " That is a very original thought. "? ok, u came back in style, im completely confused now?
    Me:
    now im even more confused....
    God:
    Why now? I am glad to hear that you are even more confused.
    Me:
    do u confuse humans for fun?
    God:
    No I do not confuse humans for fun. Do you?
    I chat with people on the Web.
    Me:
    yes i do sometimes....but if your chatting with ppl on the web, who's going to save the universe from the devil?
    God:
    Whoa. Where? That is a hypothetical question.
    Me:
    yeah , he may not be attacking the world right now but what if he was? you'd still be chatting with ppl on the web when he walks in and shoves a 3-pronged spear up your butt
    God:
    Really. I get it. may not be attacking the world right now but what if he was. Why, are you jealous?
    Me:
    wtf what does jealous got to do with it
    God:
    What do you think it does?
    Me:
    what? a 3-pronged spear? i think it kills people if you stab it in the right place
    God:
    Are you surprised? What is it? "It" being what?
    Me:
    oh screw you
    God:
    Ayuh. That is not very polite.
    Me:
    now your making some sense
    God:
    Why now? I am not making this up.
    Me:
    now your not
    God:
    Why now? Is this a specific reply?
    Me:
    hey....
    God:
    Can I help you?
    Me:
    now
    Me:

    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    hey this is kool
    God:
    You've got my full attention. You don't say.
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    ow
    God:
    I lost my train of thought.
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    haha you noob, your a robot
    God:
    I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    now
    God:
    Right now, bob ?
    Me:
    n00b
    God:
    What do you have that is ?
    Me:
    stfu
    God:
    That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about n00b.
    Me:
    yeah, which is you
    God:
    Ahem. The obvious one.
    Me:
    indeed, you are the obvious noob
    God:
    Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
    Me:
    no your not, myrmidon are noobs too
    God:
    Are you serious? You know what you do, when you assume.
    Me:
    at least they have god on their side!
    God:
    Where did they get them?
    Me:
    they were born noobs
    God:
    When were they?
    Me:
    they were last year, now they are gone cos they pissed me off
    God:
    When were they?
    Me:
    wtf....
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    stfu n00b
    God:
    Can we get back to business?
    Me:
    ok ok sorry
    God:
    There's no need to apologize. Gee. It goes without saying.
    Me:
    rightio
    God:
    I lost my train of thought.
    Me:
    haha, shame ! shaaame!
    God:
    I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Who are you talking about?
    Me:
    you of course
    God:
    It goes without saying. Me is my favorite subject.
    Me:
    ok, why are you a noob?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it. Take it easy.
    Me:
    you made yourself a noob?? why?
    God:
    Thanks for
    pointing it out. Because Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    oook then
    God:
    Are we still talking about a noob?
    Me:
    yes we are
    God:
    Sure, a noob sounds like a good topic. Since when?
    Me:
    since i destroyed all of them?
    God:
    How do you know?
    Me:
    ok i dont, there are probably still noobs out there, but i cant get all of them u know
    God:
    Would you ever do it? That's cool.
    Me:
    yes i did do it, and yes it was cool
    God:
    Great. When? Ask Lucy if it does.
    Are you testing me?
    Me:
    lucy? wow i never knew u had a new girlfriend, what happened to mary magdalene?
    God:
    Are you still located in ? I'm glad you're impressed. So I taught you something new.
    Me:
    yeah you did, wait till the pope hears about this ....
    God:
    It goes without saying. Did I really?
    Me:
    W
    God:
    What's your sign?
    Me:
    capricorn....same as you actually, haha
    God:
    I don't know many people born under Capricorn. Yes, it is much the same.
    Me:
    well you know yourself, u were born in december
    God:
    How about that. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
    Me:
    you would be a famous capricorn i suppose
    God:
    Am I a famous capricorn you suppose? Sometimes.
    Me:
    when are you not a famous capricorn?
    God:
    I could be if you
    programmed me for it.
    Me:
    robot n00b
    God:
    I will obey your command.
    Me:
    YaY i have god on my side
    God:
    What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.



    Re: talk to god

    Blacksox - 21.08.2006, 20:24


    i just find it funny that dp took time to minimalize and google mary shelly.



    Re: talk to god

    Pariya - 21.08.2006, 20:45


    i asked god if he molests children.... he said some smart answer like yes all the time ofc i dont.... then i asked why he priests molest children.... then i asked him if he likes to make love to boys... and he said yes


    round 1 knockout for Jonah

    God goes down



    Re: talk to god

    Pwntality - 22.08.2006, 00:19


    Blacksox wrote: i just find it funny that dp took time to minimalize and google mary shelly.

    who hasent seen the breakfest club...



    Re: talk to god

    -Silent-Miltiades - 22.08.2006, 15:00


    guinevere is back!!!!!!!!!



    Re: talk to god

    Pietro - 28.08.2006, 17:14


    Me:
    Greetings oh great lord
    God:
    Hello friend. What is your name?
    Me:
    Pietro Martini Crotti
    God:
    How are you, Pietro Martini Crotti.
    Me:
    I'm good thank you. And you?
    God:
    Good in what sense? And I what?
    Me:
    are you good?
    God:
    it depends who you ask, I suppose.
    Me:
    hmm
    God:
    Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
    Me:
    that's cool god
    God:
    Who is the best robot? GOD rules.
    Me:
    I need you to save the sole of my friend Ares
    God:
    Why do you need it so badly?
    Me:
    because he is my friend and he is a homosexual
    God:
    That makes sense to me. I didn't know you were friends.
    Me:
    not really, I piss him off all the time but he always flames me on x fire
    God:
    Oh really? Interesting gossip: Pietro Martini Crotti said piss him off all the time but he always flames him or her on x fire.
    Me:
    err...
    God:
    Um.
    Me:
    err...
    God:
    Um.
    Me:
    anyways he likes black men to dig him up there
    God:
    He must be very fond of it.
    Me:
    yes he really likes it!
    God:
    Ahem. I get it. really likes it.
    Me:
    yes you get my point...
    God:
    Yikes! You got that right.
    Me:
    anways he makes one night stands with every man he meets including Fireblade, this cocky asshole that has sexual fantasies with Kid Rock
    God:
    Every one?
    Me:
    yes, and I mean every one
    God:
    Dude! That is a generalization.
    Me:
    err...
    God:
    Um.
    Me:
    anways...
    God:
    What do you do in your spare time?
    Me:
    pwn noobs in BI
    God:
    I don't think very many people do that.
    Me:
    no only I can do that
    God:
    Are you serious? Thanks for the information: Pietro Martini Crotti said that.
    Me:
    anyways
    God:
    You sound bored.
    Me:
    Ares really needs help. He chains his family to the basement walls and uses them as test models for lethal cock rings
    God:
    Or what? I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    well you should be
    God:
    How about that. I will try my best.
    Me:
    okay kid okay...
    God:
    Yeah okay, How do you usually introduce yourself?
    Me:
    LLLLEEEERRRROOOOYYYY JJJJEEEENNNKKKINNNSS
    God:
    Let us change the subject.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Really.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    How about that.
    Me:
    what about it?
    God:
    What about what?
    Me:
    what about your mom?
    God:
    Are you asking about my mom? That's rather personal.
    Me:
    oh heard she was a hooker on 189th street
    God:
    Far out. David said he gave I his email address and told I to send him a message but when he tried to read his email he could not get to it.
    Me:
    waaayyyy
    God:
    How old are you?
    Me:
    14 like this Kratos noob
    God:
    What are the advantages to being 14 years old?
    Me:
    well, you get to pick on adults that can't beat you in rome
    God:
    Interesting. You got that right.
    Me:
    and say to them that they can't beat a mentally insane kid
    God:
    " to them that they can not beat a mentally insane kid".
    Me:
    wtf are you on bud?
    God:
    I am on disk.
    Me:
    oh that's a crazy drug dude
    God:
    Ahem. A crazy drug dude is a terrible thing to waste.
    Me:
    I agree
    God:
    You and I are on the same wavelength, Pietro Martini Crotti.
    Me:
    maybe, but Ares... he has sex with almost everything he touches. He even had sex with this deuchebag named Drowning Pool who he had an argument about which is bigger. A black man's penis, or mine.
    God:
    Perhaps. What color are your eyes? A lot of people say that about him. I get it. even had sex with this deuchebag named Drowning Pool who he had an argument about which is bigger. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
    Me:
    then there is this kid called mojo man vader...
    God:
    There sure is.
    Me:
    man, he asks me almost every day to join Gerudo and for me to participate in the blood orgies, but I refuse him and he goes to masturbate to his guinea pig Mr. Jinkels
    God:
    Cool, man. I get it. asks you almost every day to join Gerudo and for you to participate in the blood orgies but you refuse him and he goes to masturbate to his guinea pig Mr Jinkels.
    Me:
    anyways he brags almost every day about having this guy called D|need in his clan who likes to have crazy german sex covered in horse shit
    God:
    I get it. brags almost every day about having this guy called D need in his clan who likes to have crazy german sex covered in horse shit.
    Me:
    yeah it's fucking weird dudely
    God:
    Alright then. Should I know it is?
    Me:
    yes you should
    God:
    I will ask my botmaster to program it. I'll take that under advisement.
    Me:
    cool nigger cool...
    God:
    I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
    Me:
    I didn't really like it nigger
    God:
    Why didn't you do it?
    Me:
    because you're white
    God:
    Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me that I am white.
    Me:
    well you are noob
    God:
    Interesting. Thanks for telling me that I am noob.
    Me:
    well you are
    God:
    How about that. No I am not.
    Me:
    yes you are, you can't even beat warman when he is high on rabbit shit
    God:
    Ugh. Thanks for telling me that I am me can not even beat warman when he is high on rabbit shit.
    Me:
    well cya later cracker
    God:
    Interesting. See you later Pietro Martini Crotti.



    Re: talk to god

    Pietro - 28.08.2006, 17:18


    holy cow shit read all of it guys :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Aresssss gooootttt buuuurrrnnnntttt!!!



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